- Family and Parenting
Things you should do to help and comfort bereaved ones
What to do in helping bereaved relative or friend.......
For some,no word could lessen the pain and sadness of a person who have just experienced the death of their love ones.Researchers report that many bereaved people receive a lot of initial help but that their needs are soon forgotten as friends get busy again with their own lives.How can we give comfort to those who is grieving?
- Be available
- Provide Reassurance
- Take appropriate initiative-
- Be hospitable
- Be patient and understanding
- Write a letter
- Pray with them
Encourage the Grieving Ones
Many may come to the home of the surviving mate to offer comfort and to help in various ways. For example, a widow will likely appreciate the attention of family and friends. But her pain of loss may heal slowly, and she will need comfort and support for some time.
A widow named Nina said: “My good friends often say the right words at the right time. Sometimes they don’t say anything—they are just with me.”
Oftentimes,all they need is your presence,your willingness to help whenever he or she needed something, whether it is form of act or verbally.Its not the things that you could give but the thought of having you as friend counts.
What to say to someone who has lost a loved one
It is common to feel awkward when trying to comfort someone who is grieving. Many people do not know what to say or do. The following are suggestions to use as a guide.
- Acknowledge the situation. Example: "I heard that your_____ died." Use the word "died" That will show that you are more open to talk about how the person really feels.
- Express your concern. Example: "I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you."
- Be genuine in your communication and don't hide your feelings. Example: "I’m not sure what to say, but I want you to know I care."
- Offer your support. Example: "Tell me what I can do for you."
- Ask how he or she feels, and don't assume you know how the bereaved person feels on any given day.
Be Realistic and Considerate
There is no ‘right’ length of time to grieve. Therefore, instead of trying to stem the flow of tears, allow time for the surviving ones to express his or her grief.You also need to recognize that men and women may deal with grief and loneliness differently. In order to start living a fuller life again, individuals need to find the right balance between preserving the memory of their loved one and caring for their own present needs.There is “a time to weep, but also there is a time to heal".
Even though it is difficult at first, in time a bereaved person needs to get back into a daily routine. Here are some things you can do that could help:
- Include him or her in some of your daily activities, such as shopping or an evening stroll.
- Ask your friend for help with some task.That is another way to draw individuals out of their isolation. For example, could she look after the children or share the secrets of a food recipe? Could he help with some repairs around the house? In addition to providing stimulating activity, such requests reassure the person that he has a purpose in life.
- Read Bible together,in this way,he/she will recognize that God is not far away from those who grief and only Him could help to overcome his/her trial.
- Do a task like gardening,this could help a person to forget for awhile the pain inside when She/he is busy.
To be effective helpers, friends and family need to be realistic.After the death of a love ones, life is not the same. Nevertheless, those who live on after the death of a loved one still have much to contribute to others.
"To those who have lost a parent, I would say this: You’ll never truly get over your parent’s death, but you don’t have to let it dominate you. Mourn and grieve as you must, but don’t forget that you still have to make the best of the life that is ahead of you.Memories of your loved one can be the very tool you need to help you to move on."
Is There HOPE for the Dead?
Losing someone is the most painful part of our lives.We do not know what to do,where to start and how to cope this kind of tragic that pass to us.One time,I've been given a book called "What does the Bible really teach?",and I did'nt know that it has the answers of the question in life that some of us don't know.The book teaches that there is a hope for the dead to be ressurected in the near future,our love ones will be alive again!
What a wonderful promise that will help us cope that God has purpose,not only to give us a promise but also a hope to see the person we love in the future,alive!