- Family and Parenting»
When a child's ignored.
My precious little warrior
How can they sleep at night?
I knew when my daughter became pregnant at 17 that the road she was heading down was going to be a bumpy one. I expected sharp turns and steep hills and even the occasional pot hole. What I hadn't expected was for the road to drop out from beneath her leaving her feeling deserted and alone.
The first year of my grandsons life was pretty typical for the first born grandchild. Everyone was tripping over themselves to spend time with him. Rearranging schedules and dropping plans with friends just to spend an afternoon with him. Both sides of the family were fighting for the " First's," first trip to the park, first ride on the carousel, first hair cut, etc. There was no shortage of attention for this precious little boy. There still isn't, at least not from our side of the family.
I have been advised from family members and trusted friends that " I " must take the high road, " I " must keep my frustrations to myself. They also tell me my grandson will one day figure it out on his own, he will know who cared and loved him the most. I've been warned to keep my mouth shut, until now.
How do they do it? Do they just pretend he doesn't exist? When they wake in the morning or drift off to sleep at night are they wondering what " his " day was like. Does his dad ever think about teaching him to throw a fast ball or ride a bike? Do his grandparents ever worry that he's getting enough sleep or growing at healthy pace? How do they sleep at night?
I wish I had the answers, if I did I might not be sitting here writing this. Instead I watch them post comments on Facebook about how busy their lives are, how hard they're working to save money to pay their bills and buy their toy's. They used to mention him, they would leave cute little comments on " our " photo's about how big, cute and adorable he is. They would even get upset if we hadn't shared recent photo's with them on our wall's. I suppose this is what happens when they're too busy working on their own lives that the only way they can get a glimpse of him is through our camera lenses.
I'm tired though, I'm tired of choking on my frustrations, I'm tired of telling my daughter she needs to get over the fact that she is alone in raising her son and to except the fact that it will probably never change, so get used to it. I'm tired of telling her she needs to stop begging her son's father to spend time with his son, it's not worth it. I want to scream at them, I want to shake them till they see this little boy for the true gift that he is! But, It really isn't worth it!
If they cannot see the importance they have in his life now, they never will. If they refuse to be consistent now when he needs them the most, then they will more than likely only disappoint him in his future. I have convinced myself that it is better this way. At least he will always have " our " constant love and affection. We will be the ones to always protect, care, and love him. He will know nothing else.