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Why Children Should Be Taught To Tell Lies as part of their Safety Plan

Updated on July 21, 2014
LongTimeMother profile image

With her children's ages spanning 22 years, LongTimeMother has 40 years experience in parenting - including home schooling and foster care.

Country roads in Australia are often unsealed. I travel along this particular road regularly.
Country roads in Australia are often unsealed. I travel along this particular road regularly. | Source

I taught my daughter to lie today. Her best friend’s father is a police officer. I taught her the lesson as well.

We were driving home from their soccer game in a distant town, knees muddied, spirits high when my car died. Their team had won by two goals and both girls had played well. They were unfazed by the interruption to the journey and continued chatting, expecting me to phone my husband for a back-up vehicle.

It dawned on me that my phone was at home still connected to the charger. Other players who lived in our direction had left before us, so it was unlikely a familiar car would pass and pull over to see if we were okay.

We were stranded on a country road and I estimated we’d need to walk for at least twenty minutes before we reached the nearest house. To reach a public telephone we’d have to walk for a further half an hour.

To complicate matters further, the entire soccer team had been asked to leave their sports shirts with the coach to have the logo of a new sponsor added to their shirts before the next game. Because we’d been travelling in an air-conditioned car the girls hadn’t bothered to bring sweaters or jackets, despite the cold. So on the way home they were only wearing singlets and shorts.


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Telling lies can be important in a child's safety plan

I gave my daughter my jacket and her friend my sweater for both modesty and warmth and, water bottles in hand, we began the walk.

We heard a car approaching from behind and the girls darted self-consciously in front of me, trying to conceal themselves. At 11 and 12 they had no desire to be seen wearing clothes that obviously belonged to me. I told them they had to stand tall and walk confidently because it would be a mistake to look like they were potential victims.

To their credit, they understood my explanation and we had a lengthy chat about body language and how important it is to look confident, not nervous. We discussed the reason for walking on the side of the road where we faced the oncoming traffic, and the need for paying attention to what was happening around us. Three or four cars had driven by and I was pleased with the demeanour of the girls.

The first house was in sight, but still too far away when a large, expensive van with very dark tinted windows made a u-turn and pulled up in front of us. As he’d approached I’d told the girls to move further off the road and reminded them they had their running shoes on.

The driver leaned across to the open window, nodded in the direction of my car and asked, “That yours?” He wore dark sunglasses, unnecessary given the cloudy weather and his tinted windscreen. A woollen cap covered his head. I couldn’t see the colour of his hair or, in fact, whether or not he had any hair. There was only one passenger seat and a metal grid separated the rear section, much like a cage.

“Yes, it is,” I said loudly, “and my husband is not happy about it.”

“I’ll give you a lift.”

“Nah,” I said smiling, “that’s my husband just there – and I told him we’d walk.” I was pointing towards the house ahead. “Lucky we’re so close. But thanks for stopping anyway.”

I waved my arm as we began walking again. The three of us side by side, stepping with confidence, heads held high. The stranger turned his car around and preceded us.


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Would he have abducted a child if he'd had the chance?

“He had a cage in his car!” my daughter's friend said. “That’s weird. Why did he have a cage in his car?”

It had been obvious to me that in order to fit the three of us into his vehicle, at least two of us would have been restricted within the caged area. I wondered if the girls shared my concern, but I didn't want to feed the fear.

“People who carry lots of boxes or equipment in their vans often have cages like that," I said, "to stop stuff from flying into the front if they brake suddenly. I couldn’t see what he had in the back, could you?”

“No, I’m just glad he went away.”

The girls had seen he had only one seat and yet there were three of us. With dark glasses, covered head and tinted windows, he had been the epitome of a villain. They were relieved the threat had passed.

At that point, I was not quite so confident. If nobody was home in the house ahead, it was still a long walk until we would reach a phone. It was feasible we’d have a second encounter with the stranger, and I believed it was important to prepare the girls.

I didn't want to scare them, but it was important they be prepared for any possible outcome. We would need to work as a team and I am a great believer in the value of preparation when facing any challenge.


When telling a lie can save you.

The girls had seen how I had successfully dismissed the driver's attention simply by telling a lie so it was a perfect time to explain my reasons and discuss other situations where a lie might be helpful as part of a safety plan.

“Okay, let’s talk,” I said as we continued to walk towards the house. “What lies did I tell him, and why?”

And so began our lesson on telling lies. My daughter is a student of martial arts, but if executing a well-crafted lie avoids the need to resist a physical attack, I think lying is a skill all children should develop.


Make time to discuss important issues

Take your child fishing. While you are sitting together you can raise topics like 'lying'. Begin by talking about how often people lie about the number and size of fish they caught. Why do that do that? Is it ever okay to lie? When? :)
Take your child fishing. While you are sitting together you can raise topics like 'lying'. Begin by talking about how often people lie about the number and size of fish they caught. Why do that do that? Is it ever okay to lie? When? :) | Source


Please note: My original hub finished here, but you'll find more detail in the comments section. This is a topic that generated active debate. Because there are many implications in the decision whether or not to teach your child to lie, and because it is an important subject for any parent, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

Thank you for your interest.

© 2012 LongTimeMother

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    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 19 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Wonderful hub LTM, very important topic and well presented.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 3 years ago from Australia

      Oh, more comments. Thank you. My apologies, Express10 and howcurecancer for not responding earlier. Thanks so much for your positive feedback. :)

      Careermommy, thanks to you as well. We have a responsibility to prepare our children for all problems they might face. The fine line we walk is empowering them and equipping them with skills without making them too frightened to face the world with confidence.

      I trust you'll all find an opportunity to teach your children that sometimes it is okay to lie. To everyone but you, of course!

    • Careermommy profile image

      Tirralan Watkins 3 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      LongTimeMother, what a poignant, vulnerable and scary moment to have gone through with your child. Thankfully, she was a quick thinker and was brave when she was approached my that predator. You obviously taught her well on how to handle that unpredictable moment.

    • howcurecancer profile image

      Elena@LessIsHealthy 4 years ago

      Interesting title, I must admit, and very good content.

    • Express10 profile image

      H C Palting 4 years ago from East Coast

      This is a great hub. More people should take heed to head off being victimize. But, more likely than not, people don't pay attention to their surroundings or nonverbal clues coming from those around them. The vast majority of people don't think about safety until after something negative or horrible has occurred. You are very smart to start with your child and her friend and be open and honest. Many people learn the hard way if they learn at all.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Thank you for your very helpful suggestion, janshares. I have altered the title to reflect that important point. I have also added a link to another of my hubs ... for parents whose kids lie about everything.

      In our home, there are very clear rules about when it is appropriate to tell a lie - and that is never to my husband or me! :)

      Thanks again! :)

    • janshares profile image

      Janis Leslie Evans 4 years ago from Washington, DC

      Hi LongTimeMother. I get it. I understand because you are talking about developing a safety plan. I think that some may focus purely on teaching your child to violate a fundamental lesson about telling the truth. Maybe they would understand or accept your intent to protect your children if you extended it by adding, " . . .the importance of teaching your children to tell lies for safety." Voted up and interesting. Thanks for inviting me.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Thanks for the visit, Susan. And the comment. :)

    • Just Ask Susan profile image

      Susan Zutautas 4 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      I would have done the exact same thing that you did. We should always be on our toes in situations such as this. One can never be too safe.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      They caught the person they think is the killer?? What a shame they can't give him a truth serum and get some answers for you and her family.

      Yes, you have to be strong when you are a mother. We live in a crazy world, and it is a fine line between equipping our children with the skills they need and frightening them.

      I believe that a mother's strength, and a child's belief that their mother will teach them everything they need to know, and watch out for them, and protect them while they are learning (including protecting them from themselves at times), makes a huge difference as they step out into the world each day.

      Our kids follow our lead. We just have to choose the path carefully. :)

    • CarlySullens profile image

      CarlySullens 4 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      I don't think a lie would of saved her. He is a serial killer and rappist. He is in jail now because of being found guilty for other deaths. They are sure he also killed my friend but he will not tell the authorities where her body is. It is very sad, but it has made me be a stronger mother and more aware of what can really happen.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      I am so sorry to hear about your friend, CarlySullens. The past 20 years must have been torture for her family, and presumably will continue.

      Yes, we do need to empower our children. It is extremely important to let our children feel confident that we will back their decisions, and that they should break every rule in the book if that is what is required to help them stay safe.

      You are absolutely correct about not telling children to do what an adult says. When I was a child, my parents always said, "Now you make sure you behave yourself and do what Mr and Mrs Whoever say," when I went to visit a friend.

      I never did that with my kids. When they went to play at homes where I didn't know the parents well, I made sure they had coins in their pocket and showed them where the nearest phone box was, and said "If you have any problems and don't feel safe, just sneak out of the house and phone me up from the phone box. I can be here in just a few minutes." Then we'd talk about where a good spot would be to hide until they saw my car arrive.

      They never had to do it, but they always knew they could. Of course, now that we are in the day and age of mobile phones, I guess the equivalent precaution is tucking a phone into your child's pocket when they go visiting.

      Thank you for your comment and your vote. I am sorry about the loss of your friend. Who knows whether or not a good lie could have saved her. It won't work every time, but sometimes lying can make a difference.

    • CarlySullens profile image

      CarlySullens 4 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      You titled grabbed me in. After reading this hub, I appreciate you offering parents alternative ways to make their kids' street smart.

      The world we live in is full of predators and dangers, even when our kids are on the internet. I for one believe we need to empower our children to make the wisest best decisions when their gut is telling them to lie or run like hell. They should not be all tied up inside, "Well this is a man, and I should respect my elders, and well I shouldn't lie, but he creeps me out, and I should just do what he says because he is an adult." NO!

      Lie, run, punch, spit, get the hell away.

      I had a friend who was abducted, raped, and murdered. To this day they have not found her body, 20 years latter.

      How you and your daughter handled these situations saved you. That is what matters. Sharing your story may very well save others too. Voted up +++

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Oh, Dolores, what can I say? lol.

      When you choose a nice quiet spot to live off the grid like I did, you have to accept that there's not going to be a lot of passing traffic on local roads, and unless you are lucky enough to break down in someone's driveway, it's probably going to be a long walk to the next house. So yes, I guess it is a potentially dangerous setting.

      But wasn't it obvious from my original hub that it was just one of those crazy days when nothing goes according to plan? I was really surprised by his response.

      I guess there are just some people who can only view the world through their own eyes, and find it hard to put themselves in someone else's place. Either that, or I'm a complete idiot! lol.

    • Dolores Monet profile image

      Dolores Monet 4 years ago from East Coast, United States

      I enjoyed reading the hub and was also interested in the comments. Here you told a great story with a satisfactory conclusion. Yet here is a commenter who keeps coming back in some kind of creepy attempt to browbeat you into I don't know what. I wonder sometimes, when a total stranger starts this kind of thing, keeping it up, gong on and on.

      I particularly like when he suggested that you reduce time spent in a potentially dangerous setting. When you drove the kids home down that lonely road you should have driven real fast to reduce the time spent in that hazardous area.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Thanks, dearmommy. I'm thinking perhaps I should update the hub text to encourage people to read the early comments if they want to hear more of the story. :)

      I had originally intended to just make the point that sometimes lying is appropriate. I hadn't anticipated a reader would be so intent on dismissing the concept of lying under all circumstances.

      I'm guessing the daughter you are congratulating for being so brave is one of my now-adult daughters, the one I mentioned in a comment. She handled that encounter brilliantly. I was, and still am, very proud of her.

      None of my girls are very big, so they have to be quick and clever when confronted with danger. If you'd like to see a photo of the two who feature in this hub and its comments, there's a pic of them in my 'Keeping Up With Older Siblings' hub.

      Thanks for commenting. See you round. :)

    • dearmommy profile image

      dearmommy 4 years ago

      LongTimeMother - So glad I looked this one up!! Great hub, great story, AND great writing. Agree, agree, and AGREE with everything you have to say. Congrats to your daughter for being so brave, and to you, for having the know-how to teach her to become that way!!!

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 4 years ago from Australia

      Thanks, P2012. It's good to hear that lying is good for the brain as well as being useful for protecting the body. :)

      The kids and I still had quite a distance to walk before we reached the first house, and we did in fact discuss the finer details of an effective lie along the way. Of course I stressed that you never lie to your family and we discussed the implications of lying in a number of contexts. We talked about the need for people to be able to trust your word etc.

      When we reached the first house, I left the kids at the gate and knocked on the door and asked to use their phone to call my husband. I was pleased a friendly woman answered the door. I was not looking forward to a second encounter with the man in the van.

      In response to your question about reading, I read a lot as a child. My adult years have been spent writing. :) Thanks for the compliment.

    • Philanthropy2012 profile image

      DK 4 years ago from London

      Great! :) I even enjoyed the story, very descriptive - you must do a lot of reading?

      On a side note, lying is actually very good for the brain and for some it is used as a gauge of intelligence in children: being able to imagine a whole array of situations, what the other person knows and so what would he believe, how they would react to that, and then which one of those situations, if believed, would benefit you most - phew! That's a lot of mental work.

      Holding all of that information whilst actively being creative is a great mental exercise! Of course, it's important to put moral restraints up - though this is much easier to teach to children than adults :S

      Once again, great hub! :)

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 5 years ago from Australia

      DW,

      Yes, I can see you were trying to push your point. But the point you were pushing gets plenty of airtime in mainstream media. I think it is useful for less aired strategies to be considered, because they too can be helpful. I'd be disappointed if you regularly try to 'shut down' alternative messages (on any subject) by well-meaning hubbers.

      I note you say "Sadly, I have read and seen far too many Milat type murders." If that's true, you too by now should be able to see the value of telling lies as a self protection strategy when screaming and running has no chance of helping.

      If one of Ivan Milat's victims had managed to convince him they would give him a huge amount of cash if he took them to a bank, they'd have been back in a populated area and in a position where screaming and running might have brought some help.

      The two strategies used together can be very useful. If a teenage victim yells "My father is inside that house! HELP! D-A-D!! HELP ME!!" while running, I'd bet money a potential attacker would leave faster than if the child appeared to be alone with no immediate support.

      It is an acknowledged fact that people will come to see what's going on when a distressed person is calling someone's name. Similarly, if a child in a mall yelled "My mother's in that shop! HELP!! M-O-M!!" every nearby shopper would turn to see the child and probably be looking for the mother as well. That's active involvement. That's a great outcome for a child who then has attention and can ask any one of the interested adults for assistance.

      There's no disputing the statistics regarding women and children being the general losers in a fight with larger men. The women and children who win tend to be those with appropriate training. But, as you'll notice, I said in my initial text:

      "My daughter is a student of martial arts, but if executing a well-crafted lie avoids the need to resist a physical attack, I think lying is a skill all children should develop."

      I would much prefer my children lie than fight. But, if they have to fight, I have always told them to do whatever it takes to protect themselves. If that means they end up in a police station, so be it. I would expect them to have tried everything (including telling lies) before flattening someone - but if that's what it takes, I trust they've made the right decision.

      With appropriate training, even a barefoot 8-year-old can smash the knee of an adult man. While he's covering his groin or worrying about his eyes or throat (the most vulnerable places as you pointed out - and as commonly reported in mainstream media outlets), my kids would be concentrating on the less protected but equally effective other parts of the body that could be targeted to give them time to run.

      If an attacker was armed and the choice was the attacker's life or my child's life, my children know I would expect them to do whatever it takes to protect their own life. We all hope that day never comes, but my children have a right to live. They shouldn't suffer because someone else makes bad decisions and tries to attack them.

      It is interesting to watch arrogant young men who assume they can beat a child in aikido training be flipped and dropped by a bright eyed youngster. For some reason even with martial arts training, men seem to think they'll be naturally dominant in a conflict with a child.

      I never suggest fighting as a first option for anyone who needs to defend themselves. But fighting is an option, as is running and screaming, and yes, you guessed it, telling lies.

      On the subject of courteous, reasoned and honest comments that may disagree with mine, I welcome them. Yours, and anyone else's.

      I've been a mother for a long time now, so I'm used to people disagreeing with me. All I ask is that each side listen courteously to the other.

      I'm glad that we're both on the same page now. Thank you.

    • profile image

      win-winresources 5 years ago from Colorado

      Fair enough LTM-

      In my honest, but perhaps unnecessary, effort to try to enhance the safety of people (regardless of gender), I was hoping to push across a certain point. True, also, that jumping in to "solve problems" everywhere, every time is a fair and perhaps not so flattering discription of me. Nonetheless, I'm willing to be called a know-it-all if it helps one person.

      True, again, I read your hub as both a statement and a question. I'll try to be more discerning in the future.

      I would note, that the statistics are overwhelmingly bad when women (or children) physically fight men. Such a person, if he's predisposed to hitting women and children, is certainly capable of being brutal - using his (usual) height, weight and strength advantages. A shot to the groin, eyes, or throat (the most vulnerable places) is not guaranteed.

      I still believe that reducing the time spent around such a potentially dangerous setting, to an absolute minimum is the best advice (if I were asked).

      Sadly, I have read and seen far too many Milat type murders.

      By the way, I do appreciate you not denying or suppressing courteous, reasoned, and honest comments that may disagree with yours. Very fair minded.

      -DW

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 5 years ago from Australia

      Hello DW

      It can't be nice to have been called a know-it-all a few times, but as far as I can tell you still haven't been called naive and simplistic. Your suggestion was.

      I said that to suggest that a lie "is useless" and "is not going to dissuade a villain from pursuing his nefarious goals" is naïve and simplistic. I stick by that.

      A gentle reminder ...

      Often people like to be just 'heard' - without having someone jump in and oversimplify a complex issue and offer 'the obvious answer that quite simply is the best and most logical and most appropriate etc' response.

      Thanks for attempting to provide a solution to whatever your view of whatever my problem may be, but in your eagerness to put me on course for being "safe in the future", you seem to have missed the specifics of my complex issue.

      I wasn't asking for advice or help or expressing that I was out of my depth. I was sharing an experience. Obviously my experience and opinion invites comment and discussion.

      I'm not sure however, how you came up with the sentence ... "Chasing down three women running in different directions (particularly in a remote area) would have been a chore, likely beyond his endurance."

      One woman, two children in the story. That woman was NEVER going to run in a different direction to those children.

      And, just quietly, had that man stepped out of his car and physically challenged us I doubt he would have been following us after we started running. One woman and one child were quite capable of making sure he'd need a visit to a hospital.

      More questions, less assumptions next time please. I don't know about your life, but my life has always been complex. I look forward to future discussions.

      LTM

      PS. Have you googled Ivan Milat murders yet? I have read your suggested hub. Hoping you read a page or two about Ivan. Cheers.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 5 years ago from Australia

      Thanks, Chris. The only reason I can think of to deny a comment would be if I felt it would offend or upset other readers. Hopefully that will never happen.

      I'm laughing at your superhero imagery. My daughters all have interesting escapades that could probably transfer quite well to cartoons or comic strips. My youngest decided she wanted to learn karate like her daddy and began lessons at five years old. She transferred to aikido at the age of eight after seeing a live demonstration of aikido. (Think of the fight scenes in Steven Seagal movies.)

      She began training in a class of adults and has even begun work with swords/sticks. It is very graceful and the thing that impresses me most about aikido is that you just don't see it coming. There's no pose or stance to indicate that a person is an aikido master. The first hint an attacker gets is when they are dropped to the ground.

      Here's a link to an aikido demo with Steven Seagal if you are interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fH6HtkySiCQ

    • profile image

      Chris Hugh 5 years ago

      This was a real interesting Hub. You and your daughters sound like quick thinking superheroes. Good for you. This was a good Hub, a good story, and good food for thought.

      You are gracious and thoughtful in your comments, and far more patient than politeness requires. As the Hub author, you are within your rights to deny any comment you wish and for any reason.

    • profile image

      win-winresources 5 years ago from Colorado

      Hello LTM-

      By way of background, I worked as a shrink for a large county jail for over a year (if you like, you can read my hub "My year in a County Jail") During that time I had extensive interaction and experience with the inmates - many of them the absolute dregs of society- the law enforcement officials, and researchers in the criminal justice area. I have published several papers in the referred journals. Do I have the ONLY view of how to handle these types of criminals? No, of course not. But it is one predicated on broad experience. But I don't want to get into dueling credentials other than to say I wasn't just picking my ass... And, I've got to tell you, I can't ever remember being called naive and simplistic. (I have, however, been called a know-it-all a few times.)

      That said, may I take one more shot at this?

      First, I am greatly relieved that your daughter was able to stay safe and she should be extremely proud.

      Second, Paige's comment was focused on your single event and its timing. My comment was focused on how to be safe in the future.

      Third, you, yourself, noted that you had forgotten your phone, so I assumed that you believed your phone would have been useful.

      Fourth, you noted that you lied about the nearby house containing your husband. This would have been the house to run to.

      Fifth, my comments, in no way dentigrate, the power or competecy of women. Other drivers of any sex would have been safer as a group. I personally did so taking my kids to swimming meets for all sorts of reasons - car trouble just being one.

      Last, "villians" rarely act in a logical manner and its not uncommon for them to run, or get meaner, when you least expect it. Chasing down three women running in different directions (particularly in a remote area) would have been a chore, likely beyond his endurance.

      So, without even a hint of sexism, I can say that I would have sought the security of a group. There is no shame in being smart. Pre planning is, simply, a smart idea. (But then I am simplistic.)

      =DW

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 5 years ago from Australia

      I'm hearing you, Paige.

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 5 years ago from Australia

      DW, I have read your profile. It helps me understand why you phrased your comment the way you did.

      Obviously your professional life has kept you so busy that you've been denied many of the life experiences that provide me with personal experience - and your resume, as impressive as it is, has not given you the opportunity to speak with senior law enforcers one on one about the specifics of encounters with paedophiles and other 'villains' as my professional life has afforded. I choose not to focus on my professional background in my profile at this stage, but perhaps one day I'll surprise you.

      To focus on the issue however, to 'run and scream' in such a remote area would be pointless. Google the 'Ivan Milat murders' and contemplate what the outcome of running and screaming would have been for his victims. Perhaps if one of them had lied and said "Take me to a bank. My father is a multi-millionaire. I will give you two million dollars if you let me live," they might have survived.

      Your geographic location apparently makes a cell phone a lifeline. Not so in many parts of Australia. I was within one hour's drive of a capital city, yet there's no guarantee my phone would have worked in that area even if I'd had it.

      And to suggest that independent women are likely to travel in convoy for fear of encountering the unexpected is a concept alien to most of us. We don't travel as a pack. We watch out for each other, of course, and would stop to offer assistance to other mothers along the way (especially if they phoned!) but I have confidence that my peers are capable of functioning as independent adults - just as they have a healthy respect for me.

      To suggest that a lie "is useless" and "is not going to dissuade a villain from pursuing his nefarious goals" is naïve and simplistic.

      I can proudly report that one of my now-adult daughters helped the police catch a convicted paedophile who had been released from prison just three days earlier. She lied to him when he approached her as she was walking home from school, saying that she lived two doors up. When he jumped back in his car she took note of his car registration number, vehicle description etc. She came home and we called the police.

      Senior detectives came to our home and congratulated her for her quick thinking. My daughter was 12 years old at the time and could easily have been snatched by the 36 year old offender. Yes, she could have screamed and run but how do we know what the outcome of that action would have been? As the detectives said at the time, it may have caused him to panic and his focus may have been to 'silence her quickly'.

      My daughter lied, and survived, and I am extremely proud of her. In the real world, sometimes lying is a useful tool for self preservation.

      Oh, and worth mentioning, she was featured in the newspaper as an example to other youngsters!!

      Thanks for your comment. It gave me the opportunity to share a few more thoughts on the subject.

      LTM

    • LongTimeMother profile image
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      LongTimeMother 5 years ago from Australia

      Thanks, Julie. Glad you agree. I have always considered it a key responsibility of mothers to equip our children with as many skills as possible to enable them to have happy and healthy childhoods, and to function as independent adults. If they have to lie to protect themselves, they have my blessing.

    • Paige Hause profile image

      Paige Hause 5 years ago

      Good Hub. Lucky for us we have a commenter who knows everything and is perfect. Next time you forget your phone, use your time machine and get it back.

    • profile image

      win-winresources 5 years ago from Colorado

      Well LTM-

      Very few people can fabricate a good story, and even fewer on a moment's notice. A poor lie will have no impact. Besides, even a good lie is not going to dissuade a villain from pursuing his nefarious goals.

      Police routinely advise that the best defense from attack is to "generate distance and sound". Run and scream. Don't stand around and try to lie or talk you way out. Every moment you delay, you increase the odds of a poor outcome.

      I think the best action would have been to be properly prepared and not be placed in this situation at all. Yes, the cell phone. But that would have simply left you out in the middle of nowhere, exposed, until help arrived. Better yet, the drivers to the event should have a plan to stay together - coming and going.

      A lie, even in this case, is useless. Being smart and prepared is better.

      -DW

    • Julie DeNeen profile image

      Blurter of Indiscretions 5 years ago from Clinton CT

      That is interesting. I wasn't sure where you were going with the article based on the title, but I agree- learning to lie for the purpose self-defense is a critical skill.