How My Teen Daughters Gave me RBF
Straight to the point, I absolutely hate raising young teenage daughters. I couldn't begin to count how many times I'm literally stuck on the road hauling them back and forth to this event or to that game. So much in fact I've seriously thought about starting a "cabby" side-business catering to teens only. I don't know whether to laugh or be pissed when I think about seeing me going down the highway with that RBF look glued to my face. And it's not just my kids I'm chauffeuring- it's everybody's dang kids but hauling them around is only part of it. I honestly believe their parents have some wild conspiracy against me because our home has become the weekend go-to hangout spot (not to mention during the week as well) and nary a night goes by there's not at least one kid not belonging to me taking up space. Sure, go ahead and drop your precious offspring here on Friday evening- and by the way I hope you enjoy your freedom all weekend while I babysit for you assholes! It wouldn't be so bad if just being here and hanging out were synonymous with teenager contentment, but unfortunately their brains are programmed with, "Lets go to the movies!" or "Take us to the game!", and my all-time favorite "Please take us into town so we can stop at every single store and then travel to 13 different restaurants because none of us like the same food!"
I don't know what anyone else thinks but the old saying "high as groceries" is not only a metaphor, but a literal truth because once the weekend hits you can kiss all your delicious edibles goodbye. And being financially strapped at the moment doesn't matter- in fact, my girls don't seem to think so or even mind. I try not to preach about not having enough food because every time I do, a metamorphosis occurs and friends seem to multiply. My biggest pet peeve is Coca Cola- although I don't drink a terrible amount of it, I freaking love Coke and I also love having some to drink when I'm home. It doesn't matter what kind of soda I buy, they always zero in on the damn Coke. Do other parents not purchase soft drinks I wonder? Even more so, it makes me think there's a secret handbook when it comes to doling out food, snacks and drinks to teenagers that I'm just ignorant about. I can easily spend over $100 at the grocery store on Thursday, and by Sunday morning not a morsel left (think crickets off in the distance). Completely gone and not easy on the wallet for sure.
Not to mention having no peace and relaxation on your only days off. "Mom, I'm hungry!" will forever be ingrained into my brain, soul, and being. On the plus side, I don't have to worry about exercise and fitness. I get more than enough physical activity doing the mom squat- you know, the one where you go to sit down and before your bum touches the seat, you're back up again because someone's yelling for you. This may seem trivial to some, but what I wouldn't give for a 30-minute stretch of doing absolutely nothing! Hell, I'd give up Coca Cola for a whole month (probably none left anyway).
Here are just a few of the ridiculous things my day consists of:
- Being short-order cook frequently all day, every day (individualized to child, of course)
- Finding lost clothes (always hanging front and center in their closets) and/or searching for items that are directly in front of their face (where I always tell them they're located)
- Hunting down phone chargers (because new ones are purchased on a weekly basis)
- Being forced to watch all their silly but creative YouTube videos, which to me look basically all the same (although this can get fun at times)
- Straightening everyone's hair (just because I can and will)
- Last but not least- telling other parents, "Yes, that's fine" every single time.
- And TRUST me if you have teenage daughters, you have been featured on Snap Chat many, many times without your knowledge or consent.
I'm hoping this look on my face will not become permanent. When I think about how seriously hard this stage of motherhood is with the operative word being frustrating, I keep telling myself, "This too shall pass". Thinking back when they were little, a number of well-meaning people told me, "If you think it's hard now, wait until they're teenagers!". Of course now, I couldn't agree more. At least when they were young, they loved going to grandmas for a while giving me and dad a break. After just a day or two I would start to miss them, but it was always a good miss. It created a little respite for them too, so when it came time to return home they were always ready, everyone was happy, and we all benefited from the time apart. But now? I cant even begin to pry them away from home- mainly because I think they have it so good at su casa and their friends realize it too. You see, I'm just a tad on the "spoiling" side with my girls and they're a tiny bit on the "entitlement" end, that of which I'm sure I created. Little monsters. But if you were relatively poor growing up like me (as were many Generation X'ers) you can't help spoiling your children just a smidgen, and then somewhere along the line that turning into a sense of entitlement. Hello! I know for a fact I'm NOT the only parent out there who gave in to this fallacy. This new culture of entitlement was shaped and created by none other than today's' parents in order to gratify and please our kids, but that's a whole different story.
With all this being said, it grates on my everlasting nerves never having control over the weekend agenda. Yes, I realize I'm a martyr mother but sometimes its just easier to give in than to dole out good old fashioned discipline, as I'm sure many of you would agree. So here I am for the next eight years or so, one mother among many with resting bitch face.