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Young Ladies.....are You Throwing Away Your Decency and Dignity

Updated on April 21, 2017

Define, decency and dignity

I looked up the words, decency and dignity and here's what I found. Decency: conforming to the recognized standards of propriety, good taste, modesty, etc. Synonyms: decorum, respectability, gentility. Decencies: state or moral proprieties. Dignity: bearing conduct or speech indicative of self-respect or appreciation of the formality or gravity of an occasion or situation. Dignities: the quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect, poise and self-respect. Did I go to sleep and wake up in another century where the meaning of these words are somehow archaic?

What I See

Looking around, we see young ladies behaving in a manner that belies the rules of decency and dignity. Everywhere we look, we see skimpily clad young ladies, and in some cases I mean young, some as young as ten. Provocative dress appears to be the order of the day, where our young ladies are concerned. Not just dress, their actions speak volumes about how they feel about decency and dignity. They pattern themselves after the popular entertainers of the day. You see the operative word here is "entertainers." In my day (oh, here I go dating myself), we were entertained by people in certain styles of clothing, but we didn't emulate their particular style of dress. Their actions were also just for the stage.Apparently those things have come out of the theater and landed squarely on our streets, and they've found their way into the lives of our young ladies. Looking around in the world we live in, I do believe, to a lot of our young ladies, decency and dignity have lost their meaning.

Wouldn't you know it, the moral decay of this world has taken a heavy toll on our daughters and sisters. Oh, but it didn't begin with them, some of our mothers and even grandmothers are leading the pack. Whatever happened to leaving something to the imagination? Believe it or not the appeal is in the unseen, not the all revealing. Have you ever heard the expression, "a woman to take home to mother?" No matter how degraded the world becomes that statement still remains a fact, for a lot of decent young men. There is a saying that I heard, 'I was looking for the perfect man, but what do you know, when I met him, it didn't work out because he was looking for the perfect woman." Let's apply that to decency and dignity. If what you are looking for is a decent and dignified man, what are you bringing to the table. You see when you are ready to settle down you will have to bring to the table like for like. Might I add, the competition is fierce, so you must be prepared. Now that might smack of chauvinism, but the facts are the facts, what can I say. Well, you might say, "some men want beauty." Is there beauty in the skimpy or indecent clothing, or bawdy actions. I'm not saying that men are not attracted to that, but think, if you "catch" a man that way, do you really want him? You see beauty and a good body can fade. The kind of man that you want for the long haul is one that sees you for who you are on the inside. Now I'm not pretending that looks completely take a back seat, to be truthful no man walks up to a woman and says, (on the first meeting), "oh what a beautiful heart you have." You see we are visual creatures, by nature, so physical attraction is just the beginning. Notice that I said physical attraction, not beauty, because as they say "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Now that is a whole topic in itself. Back to the issue at hand, self-respect and decorum, when these are used as a touchstone, then decency and dignity will reign supreme.

What we can do

Those of us who have, over the years, kept, or regained, our decency and dignity have a serious responsibility to our young ladies. We can mentor them through, teach, talk, and listen. We can teach by word and example. Our dress and actions can be the example, our words can be those of encouragement and praise. Our talk can be with the intention of impressing upon them the importance of maintaining their decency and dignity from birth to death, or regaining it when it has been lost through ignorance. We can also let them know that their dress and actions can define who they are. We can listen, by sincerely tuning in to their expressions, not judging them, drawing them out, and truly listening in silence. Yes, we have a serious responsibility to help our young ladies maintain or regain their decency and dignity. Can we do it? Yes we can!


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    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 6 years ago from Southern California

      I agree TamCor, even though it may seem like an insult to some, I wear it like a badge of honor, I'm certainly not ashamed to be call "Old-fashioned." I'm sure there are more like me around, that's why I wrote the hub. It wouldn't hurt if more would apply some of the things I wrote about. Thank you so much for your encouragement.

    • TamCor profile image

      Tammy Cornett 6 years ago from Ohio

      Isn't it funny how "old-fashioned" is used as an insult by some when usually it speaks of higher respect for yourself and others in life, lol.

      You make some great points, and it was good to see someone speaking out about this subject! :)

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 6 years ago from Southern California

      Such a lovely well received comment. Thanks Jimbo, so proud to be called "old fashioned", wish there were more of me around.

    • profile image

      Jimbo 6 years ago

      Such lovely old fashioned words to go with such lovely old fashioned concepts for lovely old fashioned folks

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Damilola Ogunlayi!

    • profile image

      Damilola Ogunlayi 7 years ago

      Yes, we can and we will.

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you very much for the validation of this hub. It seems that today advice such as this is out of date. But if you, I and others that think like we do continue to promote it, it might have a chance to come back in fashion.

      Thanks again Ashantina for stopping and leaving that wonderful comment. See you soon.

    • Ashantina profile image

      Ashantina 7 years ago

      This is a v very important issue you have raised.

      I'm glad that you also mentioned solutions, that we as a community should act on to educate/mentor these young females concerning self worth and self awareness. So, can we effect a change through being a role model? 'Yes we can' fastfreta!! :)

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 7 years ago from Southern California

      Thank you Greenhousewife for stopping by. You know I'm afraid we might be in the minority. Anyway thanks for visiting, please stop by again.

    • Greenhousewife profile image

      Aimee 7 years ago

      A much needed post! The term "lady" is used in a way never intended. These young girls have no class and do not seem to even miss their sense of dignity. I'm glad I'm not the only one to notice this!

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 8 years ago from Southern California

      Thanks Phoebe for the validation of this hub. And I agree with your comments about their desire for attention. Thanks so much for stopping, please come again soon.

    • profile image

      Phoebe Pike 8 years ago

      I have seen some really skimpy outfits... my friend, also my fiance's little cousin, who I consider my little sister recently went to a middle school dance and the girls there were wearing dresses that almost covered their "behinds"... I can't believe how much "fashion" has changed in the past few years.

      I can't even begin to imagine why they would want that kind of attention. At their age I was busy studying, not packing on make-up and hiking up my skirts to get a boy's attention.

    • fastfreta profile image

      Alfreta Sailor 8 years ago from Southern California

      Oh my, a woman after my own heart, after not receiving many comments on this hub, I kinda felt all alone in my opinion on this subject, but you've renewed my conviction. I can tell by your comments that you are really reading my hubs in their entirety, and I want to thank you for that. If your comments are this well written, I can't wait to read your hubs. I'm going to take my time and read them all later today, I await with bated breath. Thanks again for reading my hubs.

    • christalluna1124 profile image

      christalluna1124 8 years ago from Dallas Texas

      My exact sentimients. My 8 year old and I were walking to the grocery store when he yanked my arm and daid" Mom why are those ladies walking aroung in their underwear?" Shocked i looked to where he was pointing. It was a drive through beer store with 8 to 10 young women walking around in clothing that was not even big enough to qualify as underwear. I am serious fastfreta, there is more material in a bandaid. I quickly took my son home and on the way told him they were poor and didn't have anymore clothes. his response was to take them some of mine. Personally I do not understand the reason for putting womens underwear commercials on TV for children to see, same for tampons, lubricants, and sex aids. People who need these things are going to buy them anyway so why put them on display for children.


    • profile image

      Dianne J 9 years ago

      I like it, so true!

    • sailor6 profile image

      sailor6 9 years ago

      I really enjoyed the content in this article, as a young woman I too agree that woman of my generation take comfort in using their fashion as a mask for low self-esteem. Please, older women of fashion, decency and dignity mentor us!


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