Supermom? No, I don't look good in capes!
I am ALWAYS told 'your children are delightful'. They actually are, I am passionate about raising good kids, when they become a part of society, the rest of the
About 6 years ago, I was walking through a shopping center with my 3 oldest girls, aged 6months, 2 years and 3 years. We were approaching the food court when a 3-4 year old girl threw herself on the ground screaming and kicking and carrying on. My 3 year old was in disbelief! "Mummy, why is that little girl doing that?" I had heard the conversation between the mother and daughter as we were approaching. I told my daughter "her mummy said that she cannot have McDonalds".
Still unsure of the reason, she asks "why is she kicking and screaming like that'?
I told her that it was because her mummy told her "no"
"And what?" she asked, more and more curiouser.
This was the proverbial pat on the back for me! I AM doing a good job!! YAY
She had never thrown a tantrum, never raised her voice to me, never disagreed with me, ever. My little girl felt so comfortable when I explained why we can or cant do something, that she always accepted my responses to her questions.
The Spongey Child
Im not refering to our children sponging off us! I apologise if I got you excited about a fix for that ;-) I am talking about their development and understanding as they grow.
The following is the basis of my introduction to parenting and why I feel it works so well.
The first thing I discovered when becoming a mummy for the first time; was that "children are like a sponge"
I know what your thinking,,,, derrr, we already knew that! But I am not trying to tell you of something you already knew. my purpose of this is to explain, where I think I got my backbone of my parenting and guiding.
I was, like all first time mums; reading, there is multitudes of articles, pamphlets, books etc that are thrust upon us to know by heart before our bundle of joy arrives. Some of the most helpful things however, do not get written in books, they are taught 'on the job'. In all this reading and memorizing, one line stood out to me; 'children are like sponges'.
The impact these words had on me were and still are overwhelming. I live and breathe these words everyday.
For instance, my oldest, who turned 10 January just gone, is an amazing girl- in every way! When being a mummy for the first time, at home, it was just her and I. Though my sweet little girl had no idea what I was babbling on about, I talked, about everything to her. 'Mummy is going to make you some breakfast', 'mummy is going to do some laundry, when the washing is finished, mummy will take you outside to hang the washing while you play on the picnic blanket'. Always communicating, explaining everything, after all, I so desperately wanted to communicate with her.
Explaining things to children, I feel, is so very important. So far, I have 7 amazing children that REALLY are adored by all who come in contact with them, and who are missed when they are not around. They are well mannered, charming friendly, considerate, beautiful kids. I believe that the way that I have raised them with persistent consistency is the reason for this.
I am not harsh, I am not cruel, I'm not fond of smacking, but I have handed them out when all else has failed (rarely).
My children respect me and it is obvious to me, it is not fear, it isn't anything but affection and respect. My only hope that there are more relationships like this with children and their parents- it is sadly, all too often that I see fear, not respect.
Admittedly, I have had to remind myself of my mantra when a swear word would fly from the kids mouths etc (because they are human and make mistakes like us adults do too)
I go directly back to explaining what happened, what is good about a scenario, what is bad, what consequences may happen or what positives can come from different actions.
I have noticed, all that kids really want, is to understand the world around them. These desires I have seen are a consistent aspect through life.
In conclusion, In every way,,,,, CHILDREN ARE LIKE SPONGES :-)
Story time happy snaps
Click thumbnail to view full-sizeStory time! Fun time! Quality Time!
The fun and importance of readng with your children.
I am an avid reader. I could sit all day and read. However, with 16month old twin boys and a 3yo girl at home plus 4 girls in primary school, there are far too many 'to-dos' before the 'get-toos'
None the less, I have been able to combine my love of reading, the desire for teaching my kids and having fun with them together - it's story-time! There is no set time for this (or anything else for that matter) in our house. It could be when the girls get home from school, it could be a good story at breakfast for all to share from the newspaper, or my favorite; right before bed :-)
I love to be dramatic and make it easy for the kids, of all ages to follow the story, and most importantly, when there is a change in character in a book. This fun time with my older girls has rubbed off beautifully, they now ask frequently to visit the library, and they also love to have one of the twin boys each, sit on my bed with them and read fun stories about cars, boats, trucks and rocket ships.
Something that is such an enjoyment for everyone in our house is also so important for the kids and their development. Making learning fun can often seem daunting or a myth. But, all you need is to look for the things you enjoy that you can adapt to time with your children. For example; a close friend of mine is a dedicated fitness enthusiast who enjoys taking her children on long jogs and or bike rides. Her children all love sport and activities outdoors, so this is her 'thing'.
Reading with them is not only about learning to read, it is, I feel essential to have some time with your kids where it is you and them and a story. It creates so much love and confidence and closeness with your children, it really is magical.
There are so many wonderful books, with great (morals) hidden messages. Regardless of the gender of your children.
Often too, we will make up our own stories, where we take turns making up the next line or paragraph of a story. These always turn out to be very dramatic and often borderline 'Broadway'. but of course, the fun is never ending. Moreover, the moments are memories that are perfect in my heart, made with my children, with no cost, only my time, which I will always spend on my children.
Next time you are tucking one of your kids in to bed, pick up a book, you don't have to read it all, just share the words and the message together. The message I refer to is doubly meant by the message the child's book often offers, but the message that you are there, with your child. Its a raw feeling that I never grow tired of.
What reading adventures do you have with your kids?
If reading isn't for you, I would love to hear about how you connect with your kids.
I love learning new things to do with my kids, so please share :-)
until then, do take care
Good Reads for Good Times - Some books I read with my children and books they enjoy reading.
The Dr Suess books are loads of 'fun that is funny' (a quote from 'The cat in the hat') - I couldn't resist. They provide rhymes and reasons, good stories, sad stories, outrageously absurd, all of which feel are the magic of his books.
There are many books that I love reading with my children. The favorite all this year though, has been 'Possum Magic' by Mem Fox. This book is delightful and fun, it is beautifully illustrated and my girls still listen every time like it is the first time. My 6 yo wrote a recount of this book at school, describing in her own words about the book, but quoting her favorite part of it, word for word :-)
If you have not read this book, I would highly recommend it!
Reading my books to them (Pride and Prejudice has only been endured by my lacking British accent, I'm sure) is great to help them hear and learn the more advanced language and the way sentences are constructed the older they get.
Furthermore, have them read to you (discovering that Mars has a North and South Pole, thanks to my 8 year old, just last month was a cause for great excitement) learning interesting facts with the kids is all part of the fun and growth that reading together encourages.
An old favorite I had forgotten about since leaving primary school until my daughter picked it up at the library a while ago, is Paul Jennings' 'unreal' books! They are clever and mainly feature short stories that lead the reader through an unusual series of events that end with a twist you never do expect.
Finally, when i was growing up, I was given, somewhere along the way, 'Snugglepot & Cuddlepie' by May Gibbs. These books are beautifully written stories, bringing the Australian native Flora to life, personifying flowers in a way Ive never seen before or since. These books are abundant in wonderful, adventure filled stories that are accompanied by colorful, creative illustrations.
How do you engage with your children? - none of the options are good or bad, they are simply places where, as busy mums, we get to find the time to communicate
What activities/ moments do you share with your children?
Informing Children - Do you always answer your kids questions truthfully?
In modern society, there are so many things that children ask about various things. It's hard to know what to share with your children, and hard to decide what to share! There are other children who know (I fell) far more than they should, they talk about things my kids are unaware of. In turn, they ask me about it. Then, of course, TV and social media, all of which seem to be getting more and more 'flexible' with ratings and hours of showing particular advertisements and shows.
Recently, after having my twins, my 5yr old daughter asked why I went to the hospital to have the babies. I told her that the Dr had to help mummy. This of course was not an adequate answer she was seeking. She pressed further. I ended up telling her the Dr had to help, because there are 2 babes and we need 2 teams of Drs and nurses to check both of them. She was then happy with this answer, but, it still poses the thought, did i answer her properly? Should I have told her all about it? These thoughts run through my mind constantly when confronted with a question I haven't prepared an answer for already.
I would like your opinion on this.
How do you approach tough questions from your kids?
Do you find it hard with societies influences to teach your children at your own pace about certain topics?
Depending on the topic, do you ALWAYS answer truthfully your childs questons?
More books to love
My favorite childhood authors are Enid Blyton and May Gibbs, hands down! The Enchanted Forrest was the first novel I ever received. The colorful characters you meet from the Far Away Tree, the pictures painted in your head and the dream like realness her writing creates as you float along the adventures so effortlessly; causes her one book to create a 'crush' for books and reading that is very much now a great affair! Snugglepot and Cuddlepie are to die for little gum-nut babies, the mischief they got into is hilarious!!!
I tried to keep my recommendations short and sweet, but my passion for quality books, sharing with children the written word and sharing with all of you, congregating in this digital library, has thus far, true to my form- made me palaver.
I do hope to hear from you about adventures with your children, whether in books, outdoors, under forts made of sheets strategically tied to pieces of furniture, craft time, baking, dancing to music whilst getting housework done??? Your opportunities are there,,, as are your children, enjoy them both :-)
A Tribute to the late Roald Dahl - Brilliant books, from an incredible man!!
Another amazing writer; Roald Dahl- "one of the greatest storytellers for children of the 20th century" - The Independent. Stand out stories to be credited to his work are; Charlie & the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, The Witches, Fantastic Mr Fox.
Do you have a genius idea (even if you feel it isnt, chances are, other parents will love it) that came up one day and you've clung to it? Are there things you do differently with your older children? do you differ between gender for your activities? i would love to hear about your journey with your children and the ways you create memories :-)