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For Grieving Parent of A Loss Child

Updated on July 30, 2014

Have it been a whiles since you kissed your loved one? Have you ever thought I wish they are still here with me?

Well, the one year anniversary of my beloved baby's departure is coming in a few days. As I was doing the dishes, quietly in my heart, I wished my baby was here and how he is doing. Coincidently, my sister-in-law had her baby a few days after my baby passed away. After that a few family members had their babies too. Whiles doing the dishes I talked to myself inside, "God, how com everyone is here watching their baby grow up, watching them take their first walk, bragging and planning their first birthdays." "And why am I going to go see my little one at his tombstone instead?"

Suddenly, I had this feeling over take me. I cannot say or describe it. Phrase, words, and more phrase kept rolling into my head from nowhere. These thoughts were nowhere near the mindset I was currently in. It kept rolling in as a "Haha my child is still great" like feeling:

"Whiles your child is learning to take their first step, my child is in heaven getting their first wing learning to fly."

"Whiles you child is learning to talk; my child is learning to sing the most beautiful song."

"Whiles your child is learning to play; my child is learning to dance on the stars."

"Whiles your child is learning to eat their first food; my child is eating his first fruit in heaven."

"Whiles your child learns to watch television; my child is taking his first look down the clouds."

"Whiles your child is giving you a hug; my child is hugging everyone on earth."

"Whiles your child is sleeping; my child is keeping all the creepy monsters at bay for your little one."

"Whiles your child is learning to become an adult; my child is learning to become an angel."

"Whiles your child is having their first birthday, my child is having their first flight on saving another child on earth."

These phrases kept rolling more and more into my head... it is still rolling in more and more at the current moment I am writing.

This brings me peace knowing that even though my child is not with me on earth anymore, my child is doing something far greater that any parent would be proud of. I am so proud of my baby who decided to become an angel instead. Someone who can help guide another lost child in this world.

Dancing feets on the stars!

Dancing feets on the stars!
Dancing feets on the stars!

Forever I cannot forget your Love!

There are times that I pray you are still here with me but deep within my heart I know you are needed in a more wonderful place to do more wonderful things. God needed you more than I did.

Keep Your Memories Close to Heart!

I'll Hold You in Heaven Remembrance Book: Words of comfort, peace, healing and hope
I'll Hold You in Heaven Remembrance Book: Words of comfort, peace, healing and hope

Always keep the memories of your beloved one close to your heart forever in something physical to feel on them gloomly days.

 

What It Means To Be Loved!

I was given this song.. and it brought so many tears to my eyes.. my husband too..

I will never forget you..

Thank you for blessing me with your love.

I will always and forever love you!

Mark Schuldz - What It Means To Be Loved

Mark Schuldz - What It Means To Be Loved

Your Not Alone.

In the end I want to share the message that having any kind of special needs do not need to be frown upon as a taboo or shameful. It can be a blessing in disguise.

Becoming a young mother to two special needs child my road was hard, lonely, and sometimes hateful from individuals because of the path I choose. For a long time I felt alone especially in the Hmong community because everyone kept telling me it was my bad karma or punishment. It took me a long time to get to where I am. And it might have been easier if I didn't walk it alone and had another parent who understood. Although I had all kinds of support from the main stream community it took me a long time to see that I wasn't the only parent facing this in the Hmong Community. But the hardest obstacles I had was that the main stream community didn't understand the challenges of having a special needs child in a Hmong Community. I wish for everyone to know that you're not alone and many are there facing the same thing. You just have to look closer.

Pictures of Ivan Thanks to the group: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep." -http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

Pictures of Ivan Thanks to the group: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep." -http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/
Pictures of Ivan Thanks to the group: "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep." -http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/

The Most Important Thing:

Our Pastor said during his service: "Like picking beautiful flowers to put in your vase for your table, God have picked this child to put in his vase to place on his table." I can see my son also as one of the many loveliest flowers God chosen to sing and dance at his table as a flower.

~Forever I have you in my Heart. ~

~Forever I have you in my Heart. ~
~Forever I have you in my Heart. ~

We were blessed to kiss you once!

We were blessed to kiss you once!
We were blessed to kiss you once!

<3 I Love You!! <3

&lt;3   I Love You!!  &lt;3
<3 I Love You!! <3

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    • LouisaDembul profile image

      LouisaDembul 5 years ago

      I have lost several children, but always in the early stages of pregnancy. Can just imagine your loss and sorrow. Writing about it does help, and it can also help others who are facing similar situations.

    • Elsie Hagley profile image

      Elsie Hagley 5 years ago from New Zealand

      Very nice lens, written from the heart. The loss of a child is very hard for all involved.

      Thanks for sharing with us, in some ways it help you get through your grieving proceed.

      All the best for 2012. Blessed.

    • profile image

      writers_haven 5 years ago

      I am sorry for your loss. Death of a new born is the hardest death of all and obviously its difficult to move on. I hope my lens on death will help you in understanding a bit more as we cannot avoid death no matter how hard we try.

      http://www.squidoo.com/death-facts-what-is-death

    • gottaloveit2 profile image

      gottaloveit2 5 years ago

      I have friends who have had 3 still borns now. They're trying to adopt. I've forwarded your beautiful article to them.

    • sponias lm profile image

      sponias lm 5 years ago

      Its really unbearable to lose a child. However, death is something we have to face in this world. There is a reason for our suffering. I hope that your work will give courage and some relief to those who have lost their child like you. This lens deserves to be blessed!

    • sousababy profile image

      sousababy 5 years ago

      Thank you for yet another lens deserving of a place in my heart and on 'Living Articles on Squidoo.' Deserves google +1 too. Wishing you a safe, healthy and love-filled new year ahead . .

      Fondly,

      Rose

    • darciefrench lm profile image

      darciefrench lm 5 years ago

      Your children have brought such joy to the world; what a blessing you are for so many who are grieving the loss of a child. Your family is so beautiful, I am blessed to read your work and share your pictures.

    • norma-holt profile image

      norma-holt 5 years ago

      Your words speak your pain and your pictures your love. This is a wonderful tribute and you are handling it the best way for you. *Blessed* and featured. Hugs

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      Its very difficult to lose a child. Thank you so much for sharing, this is so full of love and tenderness. Blessing!

    • Brite-Ideas profile image

      Barbara Tremblay Cipak 5 years ago from Toronto, Canada

      your lens is deeply touching,

      Blessings to you and your family

    • pajnhiaj profile image
      Author

      pajnhiaj 5 years ago

      Thanks, blessing to you! Most of the photo is thanks to "Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep." -http://www.nowilaymedowntosleep.org/ they are free of charge for families in bereavement and will send someone they have near your location. it would be nice to call them in advance so they know how to prepare and when to come. they will also come take picture of still born babies in the most beautiful state as they also specialized in this.

    • HealthfulMD profile image

      Kirsti A. Dyer 5 years ago from Northern California

      Beautiful photos of your son. I was wondering if they were from one of the Bereavement Photographers. I am wishing you a Violet Heart for your son on this anniversary date.

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      makes me miss our lilo guy even more.