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How To Balance The Precarious World Between Being A Mother And An Artist

Updated on June 1, 2016
photo by: P Roc
photo by: P Roc
self portrait "2doors" (c)2011
self portrait "2doors" (c)2011

The Story Of Two Rooms Becoming One

One door reads motherhood and one door reads artist...that is what i formulated in my mind...i somehow decided that two rooms were important for self expression...when i walked through the artist door i had to be completely absorbed in that space without letting any other energy into that domain...and when i entered the motherhood room i could be a full time mother...i would push out any other thoughts that threatened to take me away from being the greatest mother i could be...these two rooms dominated my life and thoughts...they had completely different paint colors and furniture choices...they had different light sources and floor coverings...in short they were individual in every sense of the word

i thought i was brilliant in coming up with this metaphor...i was completely sure i had found the truth that would set every mother free...the truth that the two worlds/rooms had to be kept separate in order for the person outside of motherhood..the artist...to survive...i fought day and night to keep this virtual deception going...and deception is what it really boiled down to

i realized ever so dramatically that the two rooms hindered my progress as both an artist and a mother...what it did was encourage me to put time limits and restrictions on both parts of me...it set the stage for the battle to begin...i kept saying that i wanted my life to be artistic in every sense of the word but i was isolating my art...pushing it into a corner...further into its room...what started to happen was-- i stopped visiting the artist room as often...i found myself frequenting the motherhood room more...my natural instincts kicked in hard...i kept saying--putting motherhood first was what was important...what i hadn't realized (with all of the bouncing around) was that if i let things be...i would naturally be a great mother and at the same time my art would get a chance to breathe...my art would visit me while i took my little girl for a bike ride

i finally realized i had to take the two rooms and merge them...make one big beautiful bright playful room...one magnificent place to share...grow...shine...write...and love in...that is now my life...and a big part of my journey as a creative being

so i finally figured out "HOW TO BALANCE THE PRECARIOUS WORLD BETWEEN BEING A MOTHER AND AN ARTIST" ---by never looking to be one without the other and to gracefully let the two become one!

photo by: P Roc
photo by: P Roc

A Few Points

1. always look for the most positive thing that is going on in the present and focus on it

2. share your time...without time limits...go back and forth between creative time and mommy and me time as much as you can...without self criticism

3. ask your partner or friends and family for help with children...carve out your alone creative time...if you don't --no one will hand it to you

4. meditate somewhere in the chaos...even for 30 seconds at a time

5. smile and carry a note book to jot down creative ideas...keep one beside your bed for those late night inspirations or early morning pre-day begins brainstorms

6. take action especially when it seems like you are climbing a mountain

7. congratulate and encourage yourself as much as possible

8. find creative things for your child or children to do while you are being creative

9. explain to your child what you are trying to accomplish...they understand way more than we think they do

10. let go of all your fears


Film Synopsis

New Documentary film about women balancing lives and artists and mothers. Directed by Pamela Tanner Boll, co-directed edited by Nancy C Kennedy. Check out our website at www.whodoesshethinksheis.net

I came across this film a couple of evenings ago and thought it needed to be added to this article!! I loved the film and found inspiration within its pictures!

Comments

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    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      7 years ago from Los Angeles

      @maandpafilms!! thanks for reading !! I will definitely check out your film !! i'm always looking for people and ways to share the story of motherhood and art!! or being an artist!! have a wonderful day. kgr

    • profile image

      maandpafilms 

      7 years ago

      Hi Karen, I so enjoyed reading your post. It is a topic I've been exploring ever since my daughter was born 11 years ago and a topic I've been exploring in my documentary film for the past seven years. I am in post-production right now and hope for a late Summer release but in the meantime you might enjoy seeing the trailer for the film at http://www.maandpafilms.com/lostinliving. I also post short clips for the film every week on my facebook page. Thanks for sharing your struggles and triumphs.

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @powerpoe1 thanks for stopping through to read!! And thanks for ur words that brightened my morning!! Have a great day!!

    • Powerpoe1 profile image

      Powerpoe1 

      8 years ago

      Voted Up & Rated Beautiful~

      Thanks for putting things into perspective.... Happy Hubbing~

    • kathryn1000 profile image

      kathryn1000 

      8 years ago from London

      And you too!

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @kathryn1000 thank u very very much!!! Have a great day!!

    • kathryn1000 profile image

      kathryn1000 

      8 years ago from London

      I think it's wonderful!A great write.

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      Thanks for reading everyone!! i've updated the hub with a movie trailor and a link to a film that i find truly inspirational and concurrent with my hub

    • profile image

      Dale from Brooklyn 

      8 years ago

      Dear Karen,

      Congrats. I knew that you would find a way to continue being you through your evolution as a mother.

      All the best!

    • profile image

      kimberly durdin 

      8 years ago

      Fabulous post, sharing, posting, much LOVE!

    • profile image

      Marie B.Pinschmidt 

      8 years ago

      Excellent post. It may have taken me a little longer, but I became an artist with two young children. Proof we can do two things at once, and do it well. I scheduled my life so I could persue the studies and still be a proper mom when they were out of school. My husband encouraged my artistic endeavors and stayed with the kids while I attended university sessions in the evening. When the desire is there, we can do anything.

      Best to all of you.

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @Linda!! Thanks so much for Leaving your wonderful and enlightening comment!! As I sit quietly by myself:) sending this message back to you I feel full!! And encouraged!! It is quite an honor to have won hubnugget with this hub!! Once again thanks!! Have a great day!!

    • Lady Wordsmith profile image

      Linda Rawlinson 

      8 years ago from Lancaster, UK

      I have managed to do this Karen, and I've experienced a lovely liberating couple of years. I take a day off from my children once a month (if possible, it usually works out a little less - I don't think I get 12 days off a year) and I get out of the house, away from everyone I know and I go and write for hours and hours. I take myself to a movie and to dinner alone, and I just enjoy a beautiful quiet day with only my own thoughts for company. It's so refreshing.

      And when I'm refreshed like this, I come back to my kids and I have found my patience again. My time with them is more precious because I always know that I've got my day off to look forward to. It's not about them being too much for me that I need to get away from them - it's just about me recharging, that's all. I've been trying to spread the word to my other mummy friends about this magical day off, but so far only one has decided to adopt it as policy in her household. I feel sad for my friends who get very little time for themselves - but like you said, if you don't ask, no-one will offer you alone time.

      Good hub, and congratulations on the HubNugget!

      Linda.

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @cagsil thanks for your awesome comment!! Peace and blessings to u!!

    • Cagsil profile image

      Cagsil 

      8 years ago from USA or America

      It isn't easy to balance the precarious world between being a mother and anything else, much less an artist. If you've managed to find common ground then more power to you. Both require creativity, so that in and of itself can be used. Very nicely written. :)

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @Ja79 thank you for reading and leaving your words here in comment!! I am really happy with all the amazing feedback here on hubpages!! It's awesome!! Thanks again!!

    • profile image

      Ja' 

      8 years ago

      Such a beautiful and touching story. It is some things we have to seperate when being a mother. However, you have shown us so beautifully, that some are to be meshed together to define, Motherhood.

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @elayne!!!! Thank you soooooooo much for your wonderful message!! I will be sure to visit ur hubs!!! For a read!!! Peace and light!!!

    • elayne001 profile image

      Elayne 

      8 years ago from Rocky Mountains

      You put it so eloquently - you can mix the two and they can inspire one another - I too am an artist (although I paint with words more now than with paint). My art has been enhanced by my motherhood and now grandmotherhood. I have painted pictures of my beautiful grandchildren. My grandchildren attended my art show, and some of them now want to be artists too. Some of my favorite photography has been of my grandchildren. I really enjoyed this hub.

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @Golfgal thanks for reading!!! yes yes balance when attained makes for a great moment!!! you also have a great day!!

    • Golfgal profile image

      Golfgal 

      8 years ago from McKinney, Texas

      Cudos to you. Balance in life is always something we are trying to achieve. Even without children, life has distractions. The older I become the more I want to do in this lifetime. I want to write, play golf, do grandmother things, a good wife, good friend, mother of feline and canine persuasions and plant to my heart content. There are just not enough hours in a day. Have a happy day.

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @ripplemaker thank you so much for reading and leaving your wonderful comment and for posting the link to vote..i am so thankful...have a great day!!

      @Loren thanks thanks thanks...peace and light 2 u and yours!

    • Loren's Gem profile image

      Loren's Gem 

      8 years ago from Istanbul, Turkey

      Great hub, Karen! Like you, I'm also a mom who just learns how to balance everything that goes between work and motherhood. God bless you! :-)

      And oh, congrats on your Hubnuggets nomination and welcome to Hubpages! Goodluck! :-)

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      8 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Congratulations Karen in your Hubnuggets nomination. The 10 points you wrote are so true...and oh yes, esp. number 4 --meditate somewhere in the chaos! Loved your hub.

      Hubbers, if you want to vote for this hub, please head this way: https://hubpages.com/hubnuggets6/hub/A-Judge-Bee-M...

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @JLClose absolutely!!! good luck i see u have been selected for HubNugget as well...i will read your hub...peace and light...kgr

    • JLClose profile image

      JLClose 

      8 years ago from OreGONE

      Great hub. This is a great insight. Moms are always moms, no matter what we do. Might as well embrace it, right?

    • profile image

      Susan Daily 

      8 years ago

      Hey Ms. lady, missing you and your peeps muchly, but this spot you have created is an incredible way of staying connecting. So enjoying your commentary, full of bright wisdom, honesty and truth. Truly glad that you are enjoying your new life in LA ~ yay!

      Namaste,

      susan

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @Monisajda...thanks for reading!! and voting this one up:) i see that you are a mom and an artist as well...i'm following you too...i look forward to reading some of your hubs!! kgr

    • Monisajda profile image

      Monisajda 

      8 years ago from my heart

      I like the final conclusion, it is impossible for me to draw a line between being an artist and a mom. Voted up!

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      Thank you!! For reading and sharing ur kind comment!! Have a truly blessed day!!

    • Alastar Packer profile image

      Alastar Packer 

      8 years ago from North Carolina

      You are indeed a creative person and if more moms(and dads) were like you;this would be a more wonderful world.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      8 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Compliments all go to you! Thanks for giving!

    • karengibsonroc profile imageAUTHOR

      Karen Gibson Roc 

      8 years ago from Los Angeles

      @Fay it's great to know that there are others that have gone through this same thing:):) then i know i am on the right track...thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts!

      @Eiddwen thanks as always for reading and voting it up...the support you give is heartwarming...thanks!!

      @RealHousewife thanks for always reading...the smile in your picture is contagious...thanks for making me smile this morning!!

      @Pamela thanks thanks for reading...i try to stay organized...you should have seen me yesterday putting a new desk together...just finished putting together a new writing station...wasn't happy with the other one:):) the living room was chaos and with a 4 year old trying to help...haaa!! but yes this morning i am organized and feeling whole

      peace and blessings to all of you ladies

      karen

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      8 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Excellent tips to manage two important interests in your life. It sounds like you are well organized.

    • RealHousewife profile image

      Kelly Umphenour 

      8 years ago from St. Louis, MO

      Well said! Another great one - thanks for continuing to give!

    • Eiddwen profile image

      Eiddwen 

      8 years ago from Wales

      Hi Karen,

      A great hub that I'm sure will be so useful to many.

      Useful/up for this one.

      Take care

      Eiddwen.

    • profile image

      Fay Paxton 

      8 years ago

      I remember going through this exact same thing, Karen, believing I could somehow compartmentalize my activities, interests and desires. I quickly learned, they are inseparable. I was a mother and an artist everywhere I was...everywhere I am.

      You are giving excellent advice. Thanks

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