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How to Communicate With a Teenager

Updated on February 25, 2014

How to Communicate With a Teenager

Communication changes as kids grow. It goes from eager to hear and taking it all in, to barely talking and isolating themselves. Worse, sometimes every attempt at communication turns into an argument. You feel like you have both forgotten the ability to communicate. What can be done?

A study mentions that kids still like the face- to- face interaction. They keep phone calls short because phone calls are for adults. Video chatting is most popular. Facebook and text are best for dating. The most favorite activities is liking and creeping on Facebook. The "do-it-because-I-said-so" doesn't work anymore. Lecturing doesn't work anymore. Use this knowledge to your advantage.

How to Communicate With a Teenager

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How to Communicate With a Teenager

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Identify the problem. Could it be that the teen is on a quest for independence? Could it be that he/she thinks you are "old fashioned"? Could it be that as a parent I need to adjust my parenting methods? Things you'll need: Positive attitude, patiences, time and love. Be respectful, keep it short, be honest, be yourself and Seize the moment.

Try different things: If he/she don't want to talk, try taking a walk. Take an interest in their fun activities, take a drive, play a game, do a chore together like the dishes. Informal settings can make teens feel inclined to talk.

Understand the hidden meaning. Like "you NEVER listen ... you ALWAYS treat me like a baby..." These expressions could mean "I feel you don't trust me, or I want to tell you how I really feel".

How do you react to a strong statement from your child? Do you find yourself saying constantly things like "When will you grow up? How many times have I told you? It's possible you may be hindering communication. What you say is not as important as how it is said.

Praise whenever possible. They are willing to listen more when they know that you are always ready to praise when they do positive things. Even when you want to mention something they need to work on. For example: Thanks! for helping by cleaning out your room I really do appreciate it. Next time would you start off by cleaning underneath your bed first?

The Bible gives useful advice in James 1:19: "Be swift about hearing, slow about speaking, slow about wrath." When dealing with teenagers this actually works.

How to Communicate With a Teenager

How to Communicate With a Teenager


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    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      When my children were in their teens, I had to practice not being shocked by the things that they said. When I flew off the handle, they immediately became defensive. I found that it was better just to listen, and let them talk themselves out of it. Then I wouldn't have to!


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