Happy Grandmotherhood

What makes a happy grandmother?

I always love the all time adage "What you sow is what you reap." Such universal law is applicable to all major areas in life. Simple questions such as mentioned above actually calls for an answer that one had lived throughout his/her life.

A happy grandmother is she who harvests the fruits of her best labors; such labors that actually are effortless in the sense that she just have to live her life, her truth, her dreams and her convictions in every moment.

If I have to enumerate what make a happy grandmother, I will have the following;

1. Good family background and strong childhood foundation.

2. Complete honesty to one's self and awareness of one's dreams and aspirations.

3. Following her honest and sincere convictions in bringing up her children.

4. Last but not least, she exemplifies the life that she teaches.

There are many more reasons but I found these four to work for me as I brought up my children.

Both my parents had gone back to the Creator; Dad in 1983 and Mom in 2000. I am the eldest but my Dad was 47 when I was born. I only had the last remaining wonderful few years of my Dad's life. My Dad is the most wonderful person I can ever meet in this life; his love, dedication and care for me and the whole family is beyond compare; if only he lives to this day, he could have seen and experienced the joy of love with my grandchildren. I would have dedicated to him his success in bringing me up and my siblings in the right path.Mom was his wife for 27 years when he fathered me from his 24 years old brilliant student, Esperanza (our biological mother). But this is another story.

I love this poem on "Desiderata" for children;

"On Children

An excerpt from "The Prophet" by Kahlil Gibran

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,
"Speak to us of Children".
And he said:

Your children are not your children,
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but are not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and
He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
So he loves also the bow that is stable."

If we were brought up from parents who know their roles being channels and stewards of the children that are entrusted to them by the Universe; then we will also pass this principle on to our children, and our children will also continue to pass on the universal laws that they had learned from their own parents.

Dreams see us through towards the achievement of the goals that we set for ourselves. This fact applies to all the major areas in life. As parents, we would like to watch and see how our children learn and grow. Our role as parents is to monitor on their growth physically, emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually. Once these human components are balanced then we will be able to foresee a "good harvest". Once the good seed is planted in the fertile ground, nature takes charge of everything and the "good harvest" is ensured.

When we sow happiness to our children, they in turn will naturally return happiness to us in multiples.

My eighteen years marriage to their father was broken but that did not stop me from guiding them and monitoring their progress while they were still under my care. Thorns in the way cannot stop me from following my path to success as a mother; I believe in what the Scriptures say "Teach the children in the way they should go..." and when they are old enough to take care of themselves and to follow their dreams, they will be blessed and they will thank you, will love and adore you the more. They will be productive in all their endeavors and will succeed in whatever they would like to pursue. They will pass on the values, love and devotion to their own offspring.

We parents make mistakes and our children should understand that. Of all the good things we do, one mistake...I mean "mis-take" meaning, we are not perfect and so we allow ourselves to miss the perfection...in a certain area in life. But these mistakes should only be just a reminder that we have room for improvements.

When our children "go in they way they chose and should go" then we will be happy grandmothers in our old age.