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Lies my parents told me!

Updated on February 23, 2014
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The Real Deal

Kids are gullible, I get that, but the lies that mom and dad tell??? Shame on them! Thinking back to my own childhood I realize that both my mother and my father were habitual liars...and it makes me laugh to think that I actually believed every single one of them.


Here's some doozies they used to use on me:

Don't swallow watermelon seeds, otherwise a watermelon will grow in your stomach. (I was totally convinced that my uncle Al had broken that golden rule)

If you cross your eyes like that again, they're gonna stay that way! (Is that what happened to Marty Feldman?)

If you tell another lie your nose is going to grow long like pinochio's. (hope it's not gonna be made out of wood...)

I have eyes in the back of my head. (I searched her hair in vain whenever her head was turned)

Big foot is gonna come look into your bedroom window if you don't go to sleep. (we were on the second floor and I was terrified! I actually slept against the wall, blankets up to my chin and my eyes toward the window, just in case)

If you do that again, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week. (is that possible??)

If you swallow that gum your insides are gonna stick together. (hmmmm)

I know EVERYTHING...( right. and Donald Trump's hair is real)


And......lies I told my son:

When I was little everything in the world was black and white. Color came later, just look at these pictures....

If you keep blowing your nose like that you're nostrils are gonna flare out and stay that way...

If you get out of bed the flying monkies are going to carry you away

Yes, I did it too, and I admit that I had fun doing it....poor kid

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    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      Oh my gosh....I forgot that one! I remember now that it used to scare you half to death....thanks for making me laugh!!!!

    • eddiecarrara profile image

      Eddie Carrara 

      5 years ago from New Hampshire

      How about this one, "If you fall asleep on the couch, the gizmarchies will come out of the cemetery and get you" YIKES!!! Yes, that one scare the crap out of me :)

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      HoneyBB, thanks f or reading and I am incredibly honored that you chose this hub to read as one of your 26. God bless Jesse Lewis...and thank you.

    • HoneyBB profile image

      H Bee 

      5 years ago from Illinois

      This is hilarious and so true. I heard all the same lies from my parents and I fell for them too! Thanks for sharing. This is the eleventh hub I read in 26 of the hubs I will read today honoring the victims of Sandy Hook. I read this hub in memory of Jesse Lewis, 6/30/06, male

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      thanks innerspin....the flying monkeys from the wizard of oz terrified me, so of course they became ammunition =)

    • innerspin profile image

      Kim Kennedy 

      5 years ago from uk

      Flying monkeys? I would have had nightmares! Fun read. thanks!

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      b.Malin

      rajan jolly

      Thanks to you both for enjoying and commenting. I did have fun remembering all those "lies"!!!

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      5 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      Very interesting and enjoyable read. It is a fact that most of us have heard these words and even passed them on to our children.

      Voted up, interesting.

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 

      5 years ago

      Hi Moonfairy, your Parents must have exchanged Notes with my Parents. Fun, Fun, read, I could certainly Relate...Especially your FACE will stay that way!

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      turnerkristina35....that's cute=) thanks for reading and commenting!

    • turnerkristina35 profile image

      Kristina Turner, Leigh 

      5 years ago from Henderson, nv

      I was told the watermelon thing, usually if there was a woman pregnant in my presence haha. Whenever I was pregnant and was asked if I was, I would jokingly reply; "nope I swallowed a watermelon seed again!"

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      shiningirisheyes..hi! thanks for reading and for your comment! Yes, I was told that too....there's so many "lies" that I've forgotten about =)

    • shiningirisheyes profile image

      Shining Irish Eyes 

      5 years ago from Upstate, New York

      Very funny my friend. I always got "Keep doing it and your face will stay that way." Too bad that was how MY face already looked.

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      Ciel Clark, thanks for reading. The "lies" are white ones and all in good fun! They've been passed down from generation to generation and mean no harm=)

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      thanks for your comment dalton71482...and I agree =)

    • Ciel Clark profile image

      Ciel Clark 

      5 years ago from USA

      Kids will believe whatever you tell them -- why not tell them true things?? If my kids ask things I don't want to answer, I tell them that I don't want to answer, but I don't give them a fake response. Occasionally I have avoided the question (Is Santa real? -- Santa is a nice idea).

    • dalton71482 profile image

      Jeremy Wade 

      5 years ago from Tennessee

      Very cute. Sometime you have to do what you have to do if you want your kids to mind.

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      pstraubie48...thanks for reading and for your fun comment! And I still look for the eyes in the back of my mom's head..LOL!!!

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      Sharkye11, Ah yes, I forgot about the little bird....my mother had the same one..LOL!

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      Minnetonka Twin..hello! thanks for laughing along with me!!

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      easymedianetworkk..thanks for reading=)

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      5 years ago from sunny Florida

      Still chuckling...and I kept waiting for that watermelon because I swallowed a gazillion.

      As for the eyes in the back of the head, I admit, I told the same lie to children that I taught the same thing. I DID have them and they are still in working order now that I have a baby grandson again.

      Thanks for starting my day with some humor....ps

    • Sharkye11 profile image

      Jayme Kinsey 

      5 years ago from Oklahoma

      Too funny! I have definitely heard those, and recently started using them on my own poor, impressionable toddler. Imagine my dismay when I did not develop that second set of eyes when I became a mother!

      My family is Irish and full of self-proclaimed comedians. Every kid for generations has been told that if they could kiss their elbow they would change into the opposite sex. Yeah, we all tried it too. We were also told that if we misbehaved "the little bird" would tell our parents. I used to hate to see robins because I thought they were snitches!

      Thanks for the late night laugh!

    • Minnetonka Twin profile image

      Linda Rogers 

      5 years ago from Minnesota

      I was laughing reading this and wondering why we all do this to our children. I think were trying to make things easier in the parenting department but at that same time traumatizing our kids. LOL I really enjoyed reading this hub. Hit lots of buttons.

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      bethany p..I totally agree! Thanks for your input, and for reading =)

    • bethany_p profile image

      Bethany Pentesco 

      5 years ago

      Love this - but as a parent now I do believe in the lies - they are really helpful parenting tools, sometimes things need a really long explanation (How do babies come out of the mommy's tummy? says my 3 year old). Until they are of age, sometimes the little white lies are easier.

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      Mhatter99, Ah, so you were a victim too.... LOL!

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      Ana Louis...that's perfect...I'd love to hear about some of the other lies that people were told growing up=) thanks for reading!

    • Mhatter99 profile image

      Martin Kloess 

      5 years ago from San Francisco

      Good to see my mother and her husband were somewhat normal. Thank you

    • profile image

      Ana Louis 

      5 years ago

      Oh my oh my, you should never tell a lie. The things parents have to resort to. This was so refreshing. I loved it. I honestly cannot remember my parents telling me any of those things, but I sure told them to my children and laughed by ribs sore later. Now we all have a good laugh over those silly little lies. My daughter did not like Black Eyed Peas, but she liked having long hair, so I told her that Black Eyed Peas make your hair grow really long. She ate them.

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      btrbell...thanks so much for reading and for the up and funny =)

    • btrbell profile image

      Randi Benlulu 

      5 years ago from Mesa, AZ

      Perfect, I love it. I still use the eyes in the back of the head one! Thank you, up and funny!

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      TamCor...Oh my gosh, how cute is that??? I have a great visual and love it!! Thanks for reading =)

    • TamCor profile image

      Tammy Cornett 

      5 years ago from Ohio

      Loved this! I remember many of those same things from my own parents, haha.

      My own favorite is one that my husband used to tell our kids when they were little and we took them mushroom hunting. He told them to holler "Shazam!" as soon as they saw one, to make it freeze in place so they could get it...it was hilarious, listening to them hollering that every time they found a mushroom, lolol...

      I really enjoyed this--thanks a lot! :)

    • moonfairy profile imageAUTHOR

      moonfairy 

      5 years ago

      hey billybuc!!! Thanks so much for reading =) yes, we all played victims until we had our own kids......and I'm sure my son will do the same!!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      5 years ago from Olympia, WA

      Very funny, and I do believe I heard many of them when I was a kid. It's some sort of tradition that is passed down from generation to generation.

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