- Family and Parenting
Children Learn By Example.
Cildren learn from what they see us doing far more than what we tell them to do.
"Do as l say not as l do" is a very outdated expression and certainly would not work with modern day children.
Is it any wonder
that our children have no manners?
that pushing to be first
is normal as they clammer
to the front ´cos only first will do?
Is it any wonder that a shock hits me and you?
The advertisers SCREAM out that you need this and you need it NOW!
Our children are told that they must have the newest gadget before all their friends.
Sometimes l feel that by the time we have bought something , taken it home, wrapped it up as a present, the darned thing is already out of date!!! As our child unwraps the present there´´ll be an advert on t.v. in the background showing the NEWER version.!
O.K. l admit that is a slight exaggeration., but how often have we seen queues hours and hours before a shop opens to make sure people get this irresistible thing , whatever it happens to be.
A queue... At least there is a queue to begin with anyway, but have you ever witnessed the mad scramble into a shop which is offering incredible bargains on sale. Quick, come get one before we run out of them?!!
These things l have noticed on t.v involve adults, so is it any wonder that our children do the same.?.........
My memories of school, where you walked in single file, no running in the corridors etc.,has deteriorated into a great dash from one part of an enormous Comprehensive school to another for the childs´next lesson. No wonder they push and shove lest they get an angry teacher asking them why they are late for class. (Er,,´cos the chemistry lab is about a ten minute journey at full speed to your English class, Sir!)
Detention for ten year olds, (my parents would have been frantic if l wasn´t home at exactly the same time every day) Could the teachers not tell the naughty child he has detention tomorrow? or phone the worried parent , so they can stop imagining their ten year old being carted off by paedophile?
l realise all schools are not the same, but l am constantly amazed at different little things our children live with now. This is normal life to them , so is it any wonder that so many children struggle to have any manners.
l have 6 grandchildren. Each one is totally different from the other. Normal.., right?
But it´s hard to explain the hurt l feel for the ones who went to a massive comprehensive school, when l compare their experiences to the ones who go to a village grammar school.
This doesn´t mean all comprehensives are bad and all village schools are good.,
but l can see the difference in my grandchildren who have had similar upbringings at home yet the one lot are so street wise, it scares me. and the other ones are so innocent (as far as worldly - wise, l mean. They are not angels by any stretch of the imagination.)
They like to go down by the riverside to catch fish, the others, like to go down to the riverside with a bottle of cider......
Where oh, where should our children be getting a good example from?? Parents first, obviously.. If children have no proper home life, they´ll follow SOME example , but often not a good one. This cannot be helped in many households , where both parents work come home, cook, help with homework and teach their children good manners. Many families manage this beautifully. l admire every one of them .
Sadly too many parents seem to think that it is the teachers, schools, the government, anyone but the parents themselves who should teach the children EVERYTHING. l mean children going to school who haven´t learned to tie their shoelaces, haven´t learned to say ´please´and ´thank you´.. Can´t hold a knife and fork properly., the list of things that we took for granted,because we were taught from a very early age, is endless.
l love young people. My own upbringing although very ´proper´was a mixture of seriously sad happenings and chaotic ones, but somehow it´s the happy memories in between the chaos that l remember the most. When my 3 brothers and l get together, we laugh so much, at even the horrible memories because between us we have somehow turned those memories into a huge joke that only we understand.
The problem of children today who haven´t been taught any manners, pales into
insignificance when you think of some of the largest city schools where knives and even guns are the problem. Again , whose fault is it?. Can we really point the finger at any one person or organisation? Do our children simply reflect real life, now?.
This hub is not meant to be purely critical, l would love some answers, but l don´t think anyone has the answers? We all have to do our best with our own families and it´s not easy.
l have the deepest sympathy for my friends who teach and now can´t wait to retire from a job they once loved.
Only time will tell how the next generation of the creme de la creme will run this country. (Shudder!)