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Anencephaly Won't Stop Us From Loving You! My Little Prince Dancing In Heaven.

Updated on July 17, 2015

9 Months I have loved you.. 2 days I held you close.. you showed me love and I love you. Forever I'll love you.

Here's a doozey for everyone to ponder about, that our Chaplin told us when my husband and I had our first daughter who have Trisomy 13. I feel the same for our Ivan as well.

Have you ever wonder that in Heaven God asked this angel if she/he is willing to come to earth with this challenge? And the little angle decided that she/he will take God's challenge on. And this little angel came down to earth with their task but us people saw it differently and treated it badly. Maybe Ivan came down accomplished his mission and had to go back home to God.

A child is a blessing and gift no matter what the outcome is. Because it will always be a blessing, people just need to close their eye and breathe and open their hearts and figure out the meaning and gift to life.

I wish the world to know that my Angel Ivan was not a mistake but rather one of the greatest blessings to me even though it deeply graves me that he had to leave this beautiful world so quickly.

Readings to help the soul.

Stories that let's you know your not alone.

Just like Eisha, Ivan had showed me an even greater meaning in life. And that is, Life is beautiful and life is short. Slowly take your time in life and smell the roses because in a blink of an eye anyone's life can go away from this beautiful world that God gave to us with the quickness.

Ivan had open my eyes and heart to something many people in this world will go by without realizing their whole lifetime, just like my Eisha did for me too.

I wish people to know, Ivan is the greatest gift of all any parent can ask. A blessing from God with a beautiful lesson that we people have to search deep within for. Instead of sitting and moping.

Life is too short to just sit and mop and be depressed. Take this experience and making the best out of his reason for coming into this world. If you have to ramble on and on or express out the negative things that happened in your life, then just let it all out when needed and continue on living and breathing and enjoying this world.

Honestly, Ivan's short lived life have gotten so many people in my life closer to each other, that I have never ever imagined to get together into one room. He somehow mended broken relationships between many people I know. As well as open new bonds. Thank you Ivan for making all of this happens. You truly is a blessing and it is too sad that many people do not see it this way or noticed it. Mommy will try her best to make your wonderful life not be in vain.

Every time I think of my Ivan, 80% of the time I would smile and have the warmest happiest feeling in my heart and wish people will associate with me and share this great feeling. The other 20% of the time I would cry my heart out, silently or out loud, because my little prince is not with me anymore. And I wish I could have held him one more time or see him take his first walk and run around with his big brother Ian. I would sometimes be in pains that I could have made his short life a lot happier, kiss him more or gently rub him more or tell him I love him more often. I wish I was able to decorate his funeral even better with more beautiful flowers for him to smell, white candles to warm his heart. But it's ok because there will be a day when I will be with him again because all life on earth have to pass eventually.

I have heard people tell me, Ivan and Eisha is a punishment from God. Or that I have done something wrong in life and wronged someone that's why I am being punished like this. NO NO, this is not it, why do people have to be so negative. This is a blessing from God. These are some of the most cherished children from God and he only gave these blessed children to people he knows that will give them a great loving home with the greatest warmth without being objected. That this family will protect them to the ends of the earth. Will not allow an evil eye to be casted upon them even after their short lived life.


I can't forget your love IVAN!!

Thank you GOD and JESUS and ANGELS, I can't forget your love and gift also!!

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Your Not Alone.

In the end I want to share the message that having any kind of special needs do not need to be frown upon as a taboo or shameful. It can be a blessing in disguise.

Becoming a young mother to two special needs child my road was hard, lonely, and sometimes hateful from individuals because of the path I choose. For a long time I felt alone especially in the Hmong community because everyone kept telling me it was my bad karma or punishment. It took me a long time to get to where I am. And it might have been easier if I didn't walk it alone and had another parent who understood. Although I had all kinds of support from the main stream community it took me a long time to see that I wasn't the only parent facing this in the Hmong Community. But the hardest obstacles I had was that the main stream community didn't understand the challenges of having a special needs child in a Hmong Community. I wish for everyone to know that you're not alone and many are there facing the same thing. You just have to look closer.

Readings to help deal with infant grief and hard decisions.

Personally, this is what I have read and still do. They give me comfort and let me know I'm not the only one dealing with this.

Isn't Life Beautiful?

Isn't your baby beautiful regardless the outcome?

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Share you heart out. I'm sure we all understand. BTW, my first baby had Trisomy 13, she's 9 now. Ivan was born October 28, 2010 and was the greatest blessing God added to my life.

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    • sousababy profile image

      sousababy 6 years ago

      Came back to google +1 this. Adding it to 'Living Articles on Squidoo' too - hope it helps!

    • sousababy profile image

      sousababy 6 years ago

      Beautifully written and heartfelt. Thank you for reminding us what is really important in life. Take good care,


    • darciefrench lm profile image

      darciefrench lm 6 years ago

      You are a family of angels; what a precious reminder of how life is to be lived to the fullest, and a beautiful example of acceptance of God's Will. Thy Will Be Done.

    • Frischy profile image

      Frischy 6 years ago from Kentucky, USA

      I agree with you that these children come to teach us things. I am the mother of a child with special needs and have seen this many times. Thank you for sharing Ivan's short life with us.

    • pajnhiaj profile image

      pajnhiaj 6 years ago

      Thanks so much, it means a lot :)

    • HealthfulMD profile image

      Kirsti A. Dyer 6 years ago from Northern California

      An early angel blessing for your one year anniversary of Ivan's birth.

    • pajnhiaj profile image

      pajnhiaj 6 years ago

      I agree with you Vauldine that they do have a life. They are also very precious and cute :)

    • vauldine profile image

      vauldine 6 years ago

      I am amidwife and I know about anencephaly.They seldom live past a few days. However they have life and are God's precios gifts to us.

    • pajnhiaj profile image

      pajnhiaj 6 years ago

      Thanks everyone. What I want is for other parents to share their struggles too because there are many parents out there feeling they are alone, hopeless, and unable to choose what path to take or how to deal with it. And our experiences can lend a helping hand even if it is little, it made a difference. Because other parents's stories did help me too.

    • OhMe profile image

      Nancy Tate Hellams 6 years ago from Pendleton, SC

      Thank you for sharing your story about your children with Trisomy 13. Your wisdom and insight will certainly help others.

    • Dianna206 profile image

      Dianna206 6 years ago

      That was beautiful.

    • LisaAuch1 profile image

      Lisa Auch 6 years ago from Scotland

      I am also indeed honoured to be able to Bless this page! Blessed by a passing Squid Angel

    • LisaAuch1 profile image

      Lisa Auch 6 years ago from Scotland

      I remember my niece (she was 12) saying to me when I lost my baby, that although I wanted her, God needed her in heaven more, and my baby was the perfect angel.

      This was lovely to read, your use of words did indeed make a tear come for all Gods little angels.

    • pajnhiaj profile image

      pajnhiaj 6 years ago

      I agree Holly, they truly are a blessing. I wouldn't wish for anything else different. Btw, I love your link and your story. If it's ok I'll like to add your link for others to find it. :) HUGS!

    • profile image

      anonymous 6 years ago

      There are definitely blessings from God, never curses!! The are loved so much and I know I am so glad that God gave me my baby Carleigh.