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Good Parenting: A Teenager's Perspective

Updated on April 17, 2018
Olusanya Fountain profile image

Fountain is a Law student at Obafemi Awolowo University. He loves to read and write

Family
Family | Source

What your teenagers want from you

Teenagers seem to be the most difficult set of people to manage and "parent" . In most homes, there appears to be a consistent and constant stand-off between teenagers and their parents, it is as though they speak utterly different languages. Several parents really want to make it work with their teenage kids and so they read all the books and try and provide for all the needs of their teenagers, but sometimes it doesn't seem to work. The reason for this is quite simple, parents don't know what their teenagers want, and as such, they give what their kids don't want, and neglect what their kids want. In truth, teenagers, particularly of this generation, speak quite different "languages" from what their parents are used to. Hence, this article aims to bridge that gap by stating some things teenagers want from their parents. They include:

  • Communication and absence of assumption.

Many parents today assume what their kids want or what their kids should want, and fail to actually ask. This leads to clashes, as parents have made plans based on assumptions and it is met with indifference or outright decry. To successfully manage your teenager and ensure happiness for both of you, you must first realize that they now have opinions and preferences, then you must attempt to be in touch with this opinions, with this you know how to react and act with them.

Communication and friendship.
Communication and friendship. | Source
  • Friendship

It is necessary to point out first, that friendship should be developed from younger ages. It is usually better to cultivate the "friendship- atmosphere" with your kids before they become teenagers, it makes the job easier when they are teenagers. If you have been the bossy or " tough-faced" parent from when your teenager was a kid, it becomes especially difficult to cultivate friendship with him/her now. However, difficult is not impossible. To become your teenager's friend you should not only be aware of his/her opinions but also his/her emotions. Friendship involves emotional commitments as much as physical ones, hence, you should relate with your kid's mood and feelings, so much so that you move into the stage where you are told secrets and fears.

  • Pride and Believe

The simple truth is your kid wants you to be proud of him/her. This desire sometimes, and in deed most times, make teenagers hide their flaws and fears from their parents. This is one of the fundamental problems that affect friendship between parents and their kids. You therefore need to create an atmosphere where your kid knows that no matter his/her failings, you believe that he/she will overcome them, and that despite all, you will always be proud of him/ her.

  • Responsibilities

Teenagers don't always act like it, but they are happy and delighted when you hand over to them responsibilities that show that you believe in them. You can ask them to go and shop for the family or ask them for their opinion as relating to a particular decision to be taken in the home. Any handing out of responsibility, with little or no supervision, shows believe and trust in them and this is something teenagers love a lot.

The final things I will be referring to were brought last because without a combination or at least one of the above, your teenager might not really appreciate them. These things are:

  • Words of Love and Encouragement:

Just like every human being, teenagers react positively to kind words and words full of love. As a parent, it is important to speak great words to your kids and even much more so if they are teenagers. As you become friends with your teenager, you might not know everything behind why they are feeling down, but with words of warmth and love that show believe, you not only gladden their hearts, you open the doors for yourself to get more information the next time. Words of encouragement also come in handy when they fail at things. These words stay with them as they pick themselves up and face other tasks. Tell your teenager you love him/her, they may react funny when you say it, but trust me, it went straight to their hearts, especially if there has been communication and friendship between you guys.

These are the general things your teenager wants from you. It is important to note though, that each child is different, but as you do things explained above, you will learn the peculiarities of your particular teenager(s). Consider these tips the keys to unlocking and getting into the life of your teenager

© 2018 Olusanya Fountain

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