How to Cook a Campfire Meal
I can't cook
It’s only fair to begin with that statement, because it’s the truth. However I’ve always had a love of the outdoors and I’d rather sleep under the stars than under a roof. Crazy, I know, but it’s me. The other thing I’m particularly fond of is good beer and campfire cooking is done best while drinking a good beer. I don’t understand that, I just accept it. Certainly, the more you drink the better my cooking will taste.
On the subject of beer; the only purpose that Miller and Coors have is for washing your hands, I never drink diluted water. Budweiser I will drink if it is offered to me. (Note to self; it’s I before E except after C or in Budweiser) I’m for the Micro-Breweries, I like to taste and enjoy what I drink and drinking is for fun not for buzz.
Rule 1) Drink Micro-brewery ales. They're the best.
Rule 2) Make sure you are at a campsite that allows open fires
Now for the campfire meal
Before you start have a beer to steady your hands and eyes.
Build your campfire with the logs in a pyramid shape for best results. The first item on the fire is going to be the cooking pot and the pyramid shape will concentrate the heat into the center of the pot. You can use a regular tripod to hold the pot, or, if you want to be authentic, lash three poles together to make your own support. be careful with that though and don't let them catch on fire. If the tripod does collapse you will lose the stew. Should that happen you have two choices; a) start again, b) share your beer. This is why I prefer to balance it on stones as above.
Put plenty of water into the pot and cut up the vegetables. Potatoes and carrots are a must but you can add whatever your taste requires. Peas, tomatoes, corn, you choose. Bring the pot to a boil and simmer the stew. Stir frequently to keep the vegetables from burning at the bottom of the pot.
Drink some more beer.
Time to Barbecue
When the stew is cooked, take the pot off and share it with the grateful family and friends. Don't forget to share it with yourself.
Settle the fire flat, then put on the grill. Now it's time to barbecue. Put the meat on the grill and cook thoroughly. This can be tricky, the meat tends to slip through the grill and feed the flames from time to time. Just be sure no one is watching. The adventurous may want to add corn-on-the-cob or even long slices of Zucchini. Whatever the taste in barbecue, now is the time to indulge.
Fish out of the flames any meat that fell in and have another beer.
What is a meal without desert? This is where the apples come in. While the barbecue is taking place, wrap some apples in foil. make sure to take the stems off first, if they pierce the foil it will blacken the apple. Allow the apples to cook in the fire. When you take them out, eat them with a spoon because inside the skin is a sweet, hot, apple sauce.
Don't forget the beer.
And don’t couse the rook,,,,don’t rouse the rook, don’t the…..Don’t upset the cook.