ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel


Updated on July 26, 2011


Fellow Hubbers, I’m sure most of us have heard the old maxim, "You are what you eat.". For some reason, I had just gotten out of the bathtub one day last week when I looked in the mirror and that maxim came rushing to my mind. Wow, you mean I can blame the food industry for this mess I see? I started thinking of the possibilities.

Rich beyond my wildest dreams from a law suit!!!!!!! Your honor, everyone knows, “You are what you eat!” It’s common knowledge and should not have to be proved. I move it be accepted by stipulation!!!

No need for a stipulation, as the judge for this matter I rule as a matter of fact and law that “You are what you eat.” is a basic truism!!!!!!!

I decided I needed to investigate the possibilities thoroughly!!!!!!!


So I quickly forgot my previous pipe dream of becoming wealthy through legal action against the food growing/preparation/distribution/sales industry. That is until I got hungry and started searching my pantry for something that struck my fancy.

That’s when I saw it. ………It was as plain as the nose on my face even without my reading glasses……..My mind returned to my quest for riches as I contemplated the words on that label of store brand, ready to eat chicken soup. Right there for all the ladies and gentlemen of the jury to see and read for themselves it said, ”Made with 100% Real Whole Meat.”……. Can you believe this?!!!!!!!!!

Suddenly I felt slightly ill. Are other brands of chicken soup made with some artificial, partial meat? Oh ………the humanity!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I must scrutinize every label in my pantry, my fridge and my freezer. I won’t take a special shopping trip to try and salt the bounty of food related verbal garbage. I’ll just use the things I already have. If Kroger is proud of using real meat (type not specified) in their chicken soup, what other culinary disasters might my eyes behold?????

Land sakes alive, here I thought I would be have my sensibility assaulted by a list of preservative chemicals that would do an undertaker proud, but I never expected to have virtual “MYSTERY MEAT” blatantly splashed on a label!!!!!!!!!!!

I may get plenty on a voluntary settlement!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh joy, rich at last!!!!!

The next day found me going to my daughter’s home for dinner. I never ask what is being served since I just enjoy the company. The phrase, “You are what you eat.” Was running through my head as I entered her house. Tracee called out to me, “Hi Daddy!! Come see this great rump roast!!!!” In my mind, “You are what you eat. You are what you eat. You are what you eat.” I didn’t let Tra know what I was thinking. I had been called a horse’s rump before but never a cow’s. Oh well, “You are what you eat.” Boy oh boy, I wish I had never got on this kick!!!!!!! The beef industry will make a deep pockets defendant.


Oh well I guess I made it almost 65 years without being rich I guess the rest will be easy. Yes the bubble burst with a series of resounding pops!!!! Remember I said I had found the mystery meat label without my reading glasses?? OK, well I decided to document this little gold mine by writing down all identifying information from the label. This required the reading glasses!!!! Hear the popping?? The telltale label now stated, quite clearly, for all to see, “Made with 100% Real White Meat.”……. Can you believe this?!!!!!!!!! Oh no!!!! Hear the jury laughing at me? Oh well so much for a mid-summer’s afternoon dream!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let my folly be a lesson. That stupid phrase, “You are what you eat.” Almost spoiled my appetite and my plunge into greed was totally unproductive. Enjoy what you have while you can!!!!!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • sheila b. profile image

      sheila b. 6 years ago

      Dinner yesterday was corn on the cob and a tuna-stuffed tomato. What am I??? You have me really wondering now...

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      If you want to lose weight or lose your appetite read the labels! Voted up funny and awesome.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV


      I was a babe in the woods. I bought some Pepsi that said old fashioned, sweetened with sugar. I asked my daughter what it was sweetened with now and she told me about the "high fructose corn syrup" revolution.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      Tom, this is a very enjoyable hub. I try to stay away from processed food and I do read labels when I'm shopping. It is amazing how much corn syrup is in so many things.

      Rated up and funny.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 6 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      Thanks for the encouragement guys. I appreciate it.

    • The Frog Prince profile image

      The Frog Prince 6 years ago from Arlington, TX

      Marvelous work Tom. Good to laugh first thing in the morning. You got me thinking about the phrase now. I may never look at my plate the same again.

      The Frog

    • dahoglund profile image

      Don A. Hoglund 6 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

      I think to a large extent the companies use the words they do to satisy the government and to avoid lawsuits.If you listen to medicine commercials you would be afraid to take any medicine.

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

      Tom, those labels are foolery of the first degree and I have put forward my best foot not to buy any food at the grocery and stick to canning crops when they are in as well as meats. I'm guilty of buying spices and after reading the labels on just those it would seem with a sprinkle one might add all the chemicals he tried so hard not to eat. The closer I get to the end zone, seems the less I care and the more I enjoy. It was just last evening that Dairy Queen insulted me with the price but a 24 oz. paper container with half a see through bra topping it filled with chocolate fudge and brownie chunks I consumed sure was good zigging and zagging down the road spooning it out, probably more dangerous than the contents... thanks for a good read, dust