Harry Potter Jelly Beans

Jelly Beans and Harry Potter are two of my favorite things. Imagine my excitement when I got a box of Harry Potter Jelly Beans as a stocking stuffer a few years ago. There was no need to look at the flavor chart as I consider myself a Jelly Belly connoisseur. I tore open the package like any other kid that gets candy in his or her stocking (except I'm 35) and started popping those little candy beans into my mouth. MMMM, pear flavor! Followed up by blueberry! "UGHHHHHHH, wtf was that!" I yelled as I spit out the most vile tasting jelly bean I have ever eaten. Thinking it was a defective bean in my pouch of Harry Potter jelly beans, I ate a few more. And then it happened again, my taste buds screamed at me to stop eating these things. That one tasted worse than the other dud. At this point I was ready to fire off a disgruntled email to Jelly Belly headquarters demanding a refund and a free 10lb tub of jelly beans for the discomfort I had suffered.

I do not know why, but before I started firing out my hate mail, I decided to have a look at the packaging. That is when I discovered the putrid beans that I had experienced were supposed to taste like that. Among the usual flavors like popcorn, blueberry, and cotton candy there were other nasty flavors listed such as:

• Grass
• Booger
• Black Pepper
• Vomit
• Ear Wax
• Sardine

At first I thought it was a pretty sick joke, until I remembered the reference to the Harry Potter series.  Then it all became clear, they had eaten the exact same flavors in the movie!  Now even though I was aware of the nasty flavors of Bertie Bott's Beans, I could not restrain myself from sampling the remaining nasty flavors.  Now it is relatively easy to pick out your favorite flavored jelly bean, it is a whole other matter trying to pick out the worst.  I have to say, each rancid flavor of Harry Potter Jelly Bean is as equally nasty, there is no clear winner here.  I just wonder what the flavor technicians at the Jelly Belly factory had to sample to get the flavor  recipe to come out right.

Since they are so revolting, you are probably asking why on Earth anybody would buy these things. After trying them once, I certainly won't eat them again. You can however make good use of these nasty little beans. Here are a couple of ideas:

• Do you have a troublesome nephew or one of those "bad" kids in the neighborhood? Show them how much they mean to you with a nice bag of Harry Potter Jelly Beans!
• Tired of coworkers poaching your food from the fridge? Get a candy dish for your cubicle and fill it up with these tasty snacks!
• Are you the old man in the neighborhood that steals kid toys if they land on your lawn? Give out these beans to all the little beasties on Halloween!

You get the idea, and the best part about Harry Potter Jelly Beans is that they are hard to distinguish from regular Jelly Belly Beans!  If you have any other uses for Harry Potter Jelly Beans, leave it in the comments!