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Hidden Secrets; Pity For Hot Dogs

Updated on May 22, 2020
kenneth avery profile image

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.

Warning: If This Makes You Hungry, Look Off!

I Want to Talk About

the good ole hot dog (also spelled hotdog) or dog is a grilled or steamed link-sausage sandwich where the sausage is served in the groove of a partially-sliced bun.The sausage used is the wiener (Vienna sausage) or frankfurter. The names of these sausages also known refer to their assembled sandwiches.Hot dog preparation and condiments vary regionally in the US. Typical condiments include mustard, ketchup, mayonnaise, relish, and cheese sauce, and common garnishes include onions, sauerkraut, jalapeños, chili, grated cheese, coleslaw, and olives. Hot dog variants include the corn dog and pigs in a blanket. The hot dog's cultural traditions include the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest and the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.

In the above paragraph, most-all of your curiosity about our friend, the hot dog can be soothed in one reading. I know. I edited the text and fell hungry, but soldiered on ahead and my insides growling. There is just something, maybe mysterious, about how a hot dog affects me. And you, if you will be honest with me. Hot dogs are without question, the most-honest sausage ingredient that you can buy for feeding a big family or just you, a single person living alone. Do not get so sad. A hot dog is the single person’s closest ally. Example: say that you, the single girl, has a great date with a great guy, but you find-out (from other sources), and the other sources just volunteered the 4-1-1 to you. And being a caring, sensitive girl, you absorbed the facts, then approached your great guy who upon hearing this information, went off on you for being a busy-body and not anyone that he could trust you. All of the guff from a panty waist guy who is 43 and still lives at home.

Like I said. If you plan on fulfilling your career as a single girl, keep a good stock of hot dogs. They are there at any time. And they never put you down. Actually, “Hot dogs are a Girl’s Best Friend,” not those uppity diamonds that Marilyn Monroe sang about.

Hot Dogs: The Humble Food.


This Man is Enjoying Himself.


I Can Never Forget The

very first time that I met a hot dog just off the grill. I was eight, and never tasted one because my mom an dad did not have a lot of money, so we didn’t eat hot dogs. Simple as that. It was my brother-in-law who introduced me to hot dogs. It was at a small family gathering—momma, daddy, my sister and brother-in-law who had just been hired at this huge factory in Guin, Ala., the 3M Company, which, I am proud to say is still operating.

Anyway. My brother-in-law was so happy about being hired, he went right out and purchased this small barbecue grill that run him a good five-bucks and a bag of Ol’ Diz Charcoal. All total: $5.75 tax included. My brother-in-law put some ground beef on the charcoal for hamburgers, another first-time treat and some weird-looking tube-like meats, hot dogs, that until that moment, I did not know existed because we did not have a TV, just an AM radio and that radio station did not run advertising spots about hot dogs, just a lot of spots about sweet and butter milk. They must have spent a few hundred-thousand a month on milk ads. But no respect for our friend the hot dog. (Yes, Rodney Dangerfield, I stole that “no respect” for hot dogs. I own it. Okay?)

Actually, I did not see a hot dog commercial until 1963 when my momma and daddy moved to where dad could share-crop a woman’s cotton and corn in order for us to eat. I do remember hot dogs ad when Saturday Pro Baseball, with Dizzy Dean and Pee Wee Reese were announcing. Dean was always talking-up one of their sponsors, Falstaff Beer, but only one hot dog commercial and that was played a lot: Ball Park Franks, and no pun intended, always made my stomach growl with hunger. Not Falstaff Beer.

One dinner my parents, sister, and brother-in-law all ate together and then I changed history when I asked, “dad, could you see your way clear to get us some Ball Park Franks?”

His face turned from jovial to angry. He looked directly into my eyes and replied, “What’s wrong with the food on the table?” I was so scared, but I managed to answer, “Dad, I am so tired of boiled potatoes, boiled okra. Cream corn, cornbread, beans and peas so much that I cannot eat any of this another bite!”

The entire table was still. No one’s heart beat. Until that moment, my dad had not had his authority been challenged, but there I went and stood up to his food choices for our table and me, age seven, bod and confident, asked for hot dogs, not good, solid and healthy rural vegetables. You can say a lot of things about me, but one thing you cannot say is at least I was honest.

Singing For Your Dinner.

Hot Dogs With Condiments, Are Very Cool.


Back to The New Grill

and the hot dogs that my brother-in-law gave me. Oh, talk about taste! Great taste is what the hot dogs were. Ecstasy is what it was. I chewed each bite of my hot dog until it was mush and hated to swallow it because as I ate my wonderful hot dogs, I knew that it would be years until I got to eat another one —and then I went and rebelled to my daddy about not getting any hot dogs. Yes, friends and neighbors, I was doomed. Ready for execution. I had best buck-up and learn to take the punishment that my dad could dish-out. But in a week or two, he purchased some brand of eight hot dogs and my momma placed them in a skillet and let them bake in her wood stove---and they were beyond delicious.

Now that I have told you about my eternal love for hot dogs and why I love them like I do today, is there are some stigma’s have been surrounded around our friend, the hot dog, and what makes less sense,is that none of us, until now, ever took the time to ask why? You see, life in these United States in 2019, are not as simple as life was in 1963. And I will not go any further because there are certain moments of that sad year that I still feel so depressed. You do not need me to refresh your memory. If I do, just remember Dealey Plaza.

Woman Takes a Break With Hot Dogs.


It’s Time That I Uncovered Myths

about our friend, the hot dog, so we can all lead happy lives and be able to sleep soundly tonight. I think that this is a fair thing to do, so let’s hold on and read.

Hot Dogs Are Always Your Friend.


Before You Go Any Further . . .

Honestly, Which Food Do You Like Best:

See results
  • The Hot Dog must have a lot of faith, because as soon as the dog is placed on the grill, it must stay on the grill and burn, char, and swell until some hungry man (like me) gobbles it down. This hot dog cannot roll or run away. It has to suffer so much pain in just staying on the grill just for me. Now that is true friendship.
  • God Bless The Poor Ol’ Hot Dog because of it’s looks. The hot dog is slick and has no character, but take the ground beef patty, and you have ridges, texture that is interesting. If that will not do it for you, then look at a man’s face—do you like his face slick or with a five-o-clock shadow? And you really want me to answer that?
  • If That Weren’t Humiliating Enough the poor hot dog can be cut into small pieces to cook with kraut or in some type of beans. I ask you. Is this any way of showing the poor old hot dog any respect? I fail to see it.
  • The Poor Hot Dog is Not the most handsome food item to be placed on anyone’s plate—compared to the elite T-bone steak and it’s first cousin the Ribeye steak with its buddy, the baked potato with sour cream. The poor hot dog was born as an outcast, lived as an outcast, and each time an American (or European) eats one then, the hot dog is an outcast overseas. I feel so bad about the hot dog. I really do.
  • Consider How The Hot Dog is treated once it has been removed from the package and either boiled or barbecued for the family or friends who always gather at your house for, “Hot Dog Friday Football,” and there are a lot of friends, 112, counting you and your husband. And there are a lot of hot dogs to prepare.
  • Now. When you hold a hot dog in your hand, stop. Look at how sad it looks before you dump him into a pan of boiling water. How would you feel at this type of treatment? If it were me, I would be screaming for mercy as high as my lungs would let me. The same about your husband holding me and a few of my hot dog pals hanging over his new grill that you bought him for your 30th Wedding Anniversary. Hot dogs have feelings. Remember that.
  • Hot Dogs Do Not have what you call a social life. They stay inside a refrigerated diesel trailer truck going from the meat processing plant to your local grocery store. Hot dogs never see the light of day until they are taken from their package and placed on a very hot grill to be cooked so much that they swell two sizes and the husband, who is so proud of his new grill, yells to the friends, “Ain’t this a pretty grill? I think that me and the wife will eat hot dogs every night of the week!!!” My goodness, my good friend, the hot dog. You are never going to have any peace.

Hot Dogs Are No Stranger to The Oval Office.


Marilyn Monroe and Hubby, Arthur Miler 1957

Marilyn Monroe in New York (1957)
Marilyn Monroe in New York (1957)

Clooney Eats Hot Dog on a Break.

  • Hot Dogs Are Seldom Served inside Buckingham Palace. Queen Victoria and Prince Philip have never had a hot dog inside their several refrigerators. But they do have ample supplies of pheasant, quail, and some nice poultry. But no hot dogs. I do wonder what the atmosphere of England would do if these Monarch’s were to stroll around outside the palace eating hot dogs and smiling like a wild goat? A lot of English subjects would jump for joy and know that their queen and prince are human.
  • How Do We Know That the C.I.A., the country’s most-powerful government agency, has not placed a certain tasteless liquid inside the hot dogs that are made in the hot dog factories? And how do we know that the hot dog plants are not owned by the C.I.A.? What is in this tasteless, liquid that the men of the C.I.A. put into our hot dogs? Was it to brainwash us? Or to change political parties? We had better take a good look at the next hot dogs that come into our homes.
  • We Can Rest Easy, friends of America, I found out by doing some tough digging, that our own President, Donald Trump does like hot dogs as seen in the photo in this hub. So does Trump eating a hot dog pose any national security threat for us? Nope. Trump knows the difference between a hot dog and a North Korean emperor, so we are safe.
  • Speaking Of Hollywood iconic actor, George Clooney, loves to eat hog dogs along with Justin Beieber and the late Brittany Murphy. And all of this time I would have bet that hot dogs were not accepted in “Tinsel Town.” President Donald Trump as well as Hollywood legend, Marilyn Monroe, liked to eat hot dogs.

Intermission. Time to Take Some Votes.

Be Honest: Are Hot Dogs More Popular Than Hamburgers?

See results

Sadly, My Summary Ends With Truth . . .

  • Hot Dogs Are Not a Good Gift for guys to give pretty girls on their first date. Most girls will be startled and think that you are plotting a prank on her, and then it hits them. You actually love hot dogs and want to share them with her, but my friend, she is a vegan. Sorry.
  • (As For Pets) If You Give Dogs Hot Dogs As Gifts then you are set for crushed feelings. Fact is, dogs love to munch-out on our ole friend, the hot dog. Sorry about the dogs.
  • On The Other Hand About Above Item . . .now if the pretty girl has a wicked sense of humor (like you), then she will giggle and say to you, “You call this hot dog prank tough? Man, I could pull a hot dog prank on you that would make your skin crawl.” She is THE one. Go after her full-speed.
  • The Humble Hot Dog has NEVER sang in any opera in New York City or any of the big cities of the United States or the world for that fact.

Aren’t you glad that I helped expose some hidden truths about hot dogs?

If you will excuse me, I am going to eat some . . .you got it, some hot dogs.

September 7, 2019_______________________________________________

Oops! Not Overlooking The Hamburger.


If You Think That I am

playing favorites, think again. (above photo) see the photo of a super-big, tasty hamburger that I took some time in finding one (like this) to go with my final point about how Hot Dogs Have Not Been Respected For Years.

Okay. Sure this hamburger and most like them ARE pretty, confident, and to a point, popular with lots of of folks. But think of what all that the poor ol' hog dog has endured for a lot of years, and what the hamburger has coped with, then you should tip your bun to your friend over the fence: The Hot Dog.

© 2019 Kenneth Avery


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