How to Ripen an Avocado Fast: Do NOT Use the Microwave

I have always loved avocados, and pregnancy has only amplified my love for this delicious fruit. Driving home from work tonight, all I could think about was a mashed up avocado with a dash of salt, served with some Xochitl tortilla chips. Ahhh, it was going to be delicious.

The problem arose when I realized I had no ripe avocados at home. I secretly believe Google can solve almost any problem, so I did a search for "ripen an avocado fast". Most of the results instructed me to microwave the avocado. I was impatient and hungry, so this seemed like a good idea.

Unfortunately, it wasn't. I followed the directions perfectly: prick the avocado with a fork, microwave it for 30 second intervals at 50% power, and serve. I took what I thought would be a delicious bite of avocado, and almost vomited.

What does an avocado taste like after it's been microwaved? A potato. Not just any potato, though- a bland potato with a terrible aftertaste. Blah. Determined not to waste my avocado, I liberally applied salt and lime juice. It was still disgusting.

So what is the fast way to ripen an avocado? Well, I'm probably not sharing any information you don't already know, but I'll go ahead and tell you anyway:

1. Place the avocado in a brown paper bag (a Ziploc bag also works, but I prefer the paper bag).
2. Add a banana peel or apple to the bag (skip this step if you prefer, although it will take longer for your avocado to become ripe).
3. Check your avocado every 12 hours. A ripe avocado will feel firm, but not rock hard.
   

Pretty easy, right?  Yeah, sure...if you're a person who understands that patience is the greatest virtue.  Trust me though, it's worth the 12 hour wait.  Excuse me while I go gargle the taste of microwave ripened avocado out of my mouth.