ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Really Big Food | Giant Cheetos Invade America

Updated on May 7, 2009

Giant Cheetos

Who doesn't love over sized novelty food? It's both sustaining and a monument to the inexplicable and insane depths of the wastefulness which has consumed Western society ever since the damn 80's. (It's my theory that the 80's ruined the world as we know it. I'm happy to expound on this theory at tedious length to anyone who will listen. And provide me with a 10 gallon tub of irony flavored ice cream with extra sarcasm sprinkles.)

For years Cheetos have been making a tasty snack which would fit comfortably inside a toddler's mouth. Now they've released Giant Cheetos, Cheetos the size of small golf balls. Or large marshmallows.

The reason for the addition to the Cheetos family is unclear, and this (clearly ironic) statement from Frito Lay spokesperson, Ann Mukherjee sheds no light on the matter at all:

“People are looking for anything to break the negativity,” says Ann Mukherjee, marketing guru at Frito-Lay, which, at one point even considered — but junked the idea of — Cheetos the size of tennis balls.Frito-Lay hired cultural anthropologists who watched stressed workers fiddle with stuff on their desks — including stress balls. So why not Giant Cheetos, instead? “It’s a ball you can eat,” Mukherjee says.

I think. I think, that the message here is that people like to play with and eat balls.

Apparently the way to survive a recession is to make increasingly insane marketing decisions until people buy your products out of pity or morbid curiosity. (I'm not saying giant Cheetos will kill you necessarily, but I am saying that a big ball of aerated, flavored corn is bad news.) Especially if you follow the example that the advertisement sets and fire them into the waiting mouths (and possibly wind pipes) of your orange jumpsuit clad friends. (You know, the ones from maximum security, where the bad ass food consumers / murderers go.)


Note: Giant Cheetos should not be confused with this mutant puff Cheeto, which was fittingly actioned on Ebay

I'm not going to recommend that you actually eat these giant Cheetos any more than I'd recommend you drink a vat of toxic slime. That's not to say that a vat of toxic slime is the same as a giant Cheeto, but it is to say that I can't imagine either one of them being very good for you in the long run.

Giant carrots, that's where its really at.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Putz Ballard profile image

      Putz Ballard 

      8 years ago

      I just happen to be a Cheeto junkie. Since the Cheeto company came with the jalepeno ones the regulars don't have the appeal they once did. Great hub

      Robert Ballard

    • profile image

      cosette 

      8 years ago

      oh boy. i never eat Cheetos but i just have to try these. who knew?!

    • profile image

      Jess 

      9 years ago

      Acacia:

      I found them in Duane Reade.

    • profile image

      Acacia 

      9 years ago

      Can someone tell me where to find these in the NYC or Westchester area?

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      I totally spelt your name wrong Misha.. pressing keys is hard.

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Hells no Mishsa, go big or go home ;)

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 

      9 years ago from DC Area

      All in moderation Hope, all in moderation ;)

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      Bigger is always better, unless you're talking about a festering infection.

    • profile image

      Whikat 

      9 years ago

      I have a dark confession to make. I Love cheetos and I have even passed this horrifying trait to my kids! We live in Wisconsin so it must be the cheese heads in us that makes us do these crazy things :-) I enjoyed your hub, I wonder if bigger will be better?

    • Tracker Frost profile image

      Tracker Frost 

      9 years ago from Wyoming

      I bought a bag, my kids loved them!

      You're wrong about the '80s...at least in the area of music!

      All things being giant...hmm...well, I'm eating a manwich...and I wouldn't mind if it were a little larger... :D

    • jim10 profile image

      jim10 

      9 years ago from ma

      Wow! Just recently it used to be popular to make your junk food small. (Mini oreos, baby goldfish, mini chips ahoy cookies). I guess the newest thing is BIG. I hope they adjusted the amount per serving on the back of the bag. These look pretty messy too.

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      I do not know the hidden ways of the junk food manufacturers Cristoph, but I think it's a fairly safe bet that in 50 years all foods will be giant. That's progress.

    • Christoph Reilly profile image

      Christoph Reilly 

      9 years ago from St. Louis

      I like the cheese doodles, you know, the hard, crunchy ones. Do you think they'll make giant ones of those, Hope?

    • Triplet Mom profile image

      Triplet Mom 

      9 years ago from West Coast

      I am just not certain who would be interested in eating a giant golf ball of cheetos, sounds really weird. I did think it was cool that the made rice krispies a little bigger but there is such a thing as too big.

    • Hope Alexander profile imageAUTHOR

      Hope Alexander 

      9 years ago

      That's precisely what they want! Then when every home has a bag of uneaten Cheetos sitting in the pantry, phase two will kick into action.

    • AEvans profile image

      Julianna 

      9 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

      I don't know if I could eat a gigantic Cheeto , but would certainly buy a bag just to check it out, sounds yummy to me. :)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)