Red Wine is Not Just for Snobs

Ah red wine, my one true weakness, and my last remaining alcoholic lust. How did I ever get by with only beer and the occasional, well, maybe slightly more that occasional Jacky D or Jimmy B?

Red wine is an experience, beer is a beverage. Red wine is to be savoured and enjoyed, rolled around the glass and sipped slowly to maximise the taste and the aroma.

Beer is to be swilled, chucked back down my throat as quickly as possible to make room for the next one in a vain attempt to get drunk before "breaking the seal" and needing the toilet every 5 minutes.

Now I know what you're thinking. This guy really does sounds like a snob or (insert insult of choice here). But that's not me, not really and I offer the example below as evidence of my normality!

Actually, this is kind of work related, as this subject is something I got into an argument with a co-worker over so here we go.

Two guys at work, one a good chap who I am friendly with, and another that I barely make eye contact with (we can call him Fred for the purpose of this post).

Fred says to my budski "Red wine is only for idiotic snobs, I only drink beer and whiskey!"

Now, I know my pally likes a drop of the old Red, as indeed do I. Neither of us could be remotely described as snobbish in the slightest sense of the word.

Well now, what to do. Normally I wouldn't say much for the sake of keeping the peace. But this just got right up my nose. I opened fire, all barrells in the only way I know how. I ridiculed myself with self deprecating humour, whilst inflicting stinging verbal blows that may well stay with my opponent for the rest of his days.

I pointed out several facts along the way

1. I am a recovered alcoholic who will not drink more than 4 small glasses of wine per week as my limit, a rule I have not broken in years.
2. I am quite capable of drinking 8-15 beers, and would need to drink that many if I ever wanted to get my "buzz on" again.
3. I don't drink spirits for obvious reasons.
4. I drink red wine for the health benefits
5. I drink red wine as I love the taste.
6. If I did drink the aforementioned 15 beers, I would have to get up to pee after the 3rd, 5th, 8th, 9th (well, you get the picture)
7. And approximately 5 times during the night as well.
8. Beer gives me a hangover
9. Beer makes me aggressive.
10. Buying 15 beers for one night costs more than buying a box of wine containing 4 bottles which lasts me and my wife a long time
11. I am still trying to lose my beer gut!

I feel that I drove my points home, but it wasn't just a case of "I like something different to you," it felt like such a personal attack on a lifestyle choice.

I like red wine, I choose to drink it occasionally and I don't judge other people for their choices. Remember, if you see a friend ordering red wine instead of a "man's" drink, there might well be a good reason behind it. Or just maybe he likes the taste!