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Redneck Recipe # 2 - "Weather or Not" and The Five Buck Ham Recipe

Updated on March 3, 2016
Trail Rider's Wagon
Trail Rider's Wagon

Weather or Not and Five Buck Ham Recipe

Redneck Recipe # 2 – Five Buck Ham

From Gus's Redneck’s Kitchen (Specializing in Bait, Tackle and Haute Cuisine)

For folks who like funny country stories and great country food all on the same plate

Weather or Not

Reese Lockett, mayor of Brenham, Texas, had returned from a problem-filled trip to Florida. He told his buddies that he would never again travel anywhere unless he could get there by horse.

Thus, in 1952, began the tradition of the trail rides into Houston, Texas, for the big annual Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. Reese Lockett, E. H. Marks, Pat Flaherty, and John Warnasch made the trip that year.

Now, each year, more than 6,000 trail riders converge on Houston’s Memorial Park. Some ride in from as far away as Hidalgo, Texas, 386 miles away. Some come from as close as McBeth, a short 65 mile journey. There are now 15 or more different trail rides, all getting to Houston to camp out in Memorial Park by the day before the big rodeo parade in downtown.

Things have changed a lot over the years as more and more riders participate in more and more trail ride groups. But one thing has not changed. The campout at the park is just about 100 per cent guaranteed to offer lots of mud through which the riders must slosh around. The big rodeo parade downtown is almost certain to be held on a rainy Saturday morning. Every year it has been just about the same. Cold, wet air and lots of mud. But still they come, those trail riders.

Even though the riders do not seem to really mind the weather beating up on them all the time, the PR folks at the rodeo and in city hall here in Houston thought about the constant weather problem. They decided to do something about the weather.

Can you believe that? When they got right down to it, they of course realized that there was nothing they could do to change the weather. Instead they changed the dates of both the big livestock show and rodeo and the trail riders’ arrival the day prior to the parade. That was for next year.

They postponed everything to be done to a week later than the year before. "That should give us warm, drier weather," they thought.

What they got was a springtime tropical storm of massive rain, hail, and wind. In fact, two horses drowned while attempting to cross the flooded roadway that goes through the park. Two of the trail ride wagons floated down Memorial Drive and got into downtown Houston the evening before the parade, complete with soundly sleeping trail riders. The trail ride and parade dates are now back to normal once again.

How does that saying go? "You can’t fool (with) Mother Nature."

Updating the Weather Report for the Year-2016 Trail Ride

Something happened to the weather. No one has a good explanation for this strange turn of the weather, either. This year the trail riders arrived for their camp-out in Memorial Park right on time - just like they always do. The temperature was right close to 80 degrees (F). The sun was shining down on a greening world below. Birds were tweedlind their "let's make an egg" songs, and the rain was somewhere else but not in Memorial Park.

Must be that the world is coming to an abrupt end once the big Houston Rodeo is finished. Must be...

Five Buck Ham
Five Buck Ham

The Five Buck Ham

How do you cook a low-cost ham? Generally the less costly part will be the shank end. Our nearby store just sold us one of those weighing about 8 pounds. That’s a pretty good deal for five bucks!

The first thing we do here is to take off all of the plastic packaging. Sounds quite logical, right?

However, nowadays they pack lots of plastic onto and around hams. There is even a small circular plastic piece stuck right over one of the ham bone ends protruding from the meat.

While the oven is winding itself up to 325 degrees, put the ham, fat side up, into a suitable baking pan. We use one that is about 15 x 12 x 3 inches in size. Put about 2 cups of water into the pan.

Unless you hate its taste, coat the top and sides of the ham with prepared mustard. Put brown sugar all over the mustard. Loosely cover the top of the ham with a sheet of aluminum foil. If you like a crustier ham, wait with placing the foil for the first 30 to 60 minutes.

Bake the ham at 325 degrees for 20 minutes a pound. When the ham is cooked, its internal temperature will be right about 160 degrees.

Best doggone five bucks you’ll ever have spent !

More of Gus’s Redneck Recipes are here on Hubpages.


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    • GusTheRedneck profile image

      Gustave Kilthau 7 years ago from USA

      Hi Springboard - You are living up to your "HubName" this morning. I had just cleaned out my list of new eMails when, all of a sudden, there was a new notice that you had posted a comment here. As to that low-cost ham, I don't think we have ever seen a repeat of that deal. The weather is something else again - it is uncanny how those trail riders always get soaked on top and muddied below right about the time they hit Memorial Park here in Houston.

      Gus :-)))

    • Springboard profile image

      Springboard 7 years ago from Wisconsin

      Of course the ham sounds great, and a ham is a personal favorite of mine. Especially when I can get one for so cheap. As for the weather? LOL. THAT would be exactly my luck. No. Fooling with Mother Nature is simply not something on my list of things to do.