ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Smoked Trout Creams

Updated on May 8, 2010

Smoked Trout Creams

Few topics spark Internet interest like Smoked Trout Creams. Without question, Pomegranate resources, Fake Rolex Watches, and Free Keyword Information also generate huge traffic, but Smoked Trout Creams seem to trigger a visceral response in people from Kokomo to Laos. Deep in our DNA percolate ancient left-handed amino acids generating unbridled urges toward all things smokey, trouty, and creamy.

Resident Smoked Trout Creams expert Mark Knowles provides us with luscious recipes for cooking the stuff. His expertise centers around actually preparing the fish for consumption. To this author, the thought of yanking one of Gods creatures out of a cool running brook, slitting it open, extracting the guts, sprinkling on a few spices, and eating it makes about as much sense as rollerblading with Manatees. We can only speculate as to what goes through the mind of such an adorably harmless water-breather as he endures this medieval torture simply because he was unfortunate enough to taste good with butter and horseradish. No doubt the Manatee would also be annoyed.

Cream of Trout?

Does cream of trout resemble creamed corn? We haven't run across smoked creamed corn at Wal Mart, but we understand that WalMartians absolutely adore fish sticks. Industrial-sized quantities of frozen and battered fish parts can be loaded into shopping carts for transport to the U-Scan, then loaded into the F250 for future consumption. Perhaps a little barbecue sauce dabbed onto a Mrs Pauls Premium Stick remotely qualifies as smoked trout.

Not a smoked cream trout, rather a trout about to be creamed by a Helsinki Smash Rod.
Not a smoked cream trout, rather a trout about to be creamed by a Helsinki Smash Rod.

Smoked Trout in Cream

Just to clarify; somewhere in the world a professional chef or a backyard grill pit warrior strives to master the art of Smoked Trout in Cream. There may well be a Food Channel After School Special dedicated to such a delicacy. Exposing the expired trout to smoke can't be much of a challenge; hang it in the fireplace on Christmas morning as the wrapping paper burns. After a thorough smoking, many creamy options present themselves. Stroll through the Sam's Club dairy department; many products contain cream or a cream-like product. A smokey trout becomes dunkable when you haven't eaten for 3 or 4 days.

Streamy Trout?

Is it possible a typographical error has been committed? Perhaps all the Fol-de-Rol is misguided. Better fisherman than I suggest that streamy trout offer more satisfaction that creamy trout. Oncorhynchus clarki present angling challenges rivaling any masterpiece concocted by the greatest sous chef in New Orleans.

Try this simple experiment.

  • Rustle up a nice smoked cream trout. Make sure it's fresh, juicy, and succulent. Follow Mark's recipe, or not.
  • Find yourself a babbling book in the Pacific Northwest.
  • Instead of a trout fly, attach the smoked cream trout to your hook.
  • Perform a heroic cast into the rushing waters.
  • Reel in your smoked trout in a desultory manner. Note that the cream has washed away.

Observe that the thing puts up no fight whatsoever. What a disappointment, yes? By the way, be prepared to run for your life should a wild bear catch the scent of your smoked cream trout.

Conclusion

Helsinki Smash Rod courtesy of Hal Licino.

No trout were harmed in the making of this hub, but thinking about creamed fish made me gag on my Fruit Loops.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 5 years ago from Ohio, USA

      59 views. Sigh. I thought it was funny. Smoked Trout Cream. Yuk.

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @maven101: Smoked Trout Limericks. Pure genius. :)

    • maven101 profile image

      maven101 8 years ago from Northern Arizona

      Creamy trout, gives me the gout,

      I much prefer pan fried...

      A glass of wine, a snarky rhyme,

      to toast this Hub you plied...

      Nicomp...you continue to amaze with the esoteric and eclectic subjects of your Hubs...Keep hubbin'...Larry

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @drbj: Prepare to be plagiarized. :)

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 8 years ago from south Florida

      How about seamy trout - they live on the wrong side of the stream. Or dreamy trout - they all resemble that actor who plays Dr. McDreamy on TV.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 8 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      nicomp,

      I think creamy trout over biscuits sounds quite yummy!!!!!!!!!

    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 8 years ago from Ohio, USA

      @msorensson: better than raw, I guess. ;)

    • msorensson profile image

      msorensson 8 years ago

      Well done :-)

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)