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10 Characters We Must See in Smash Brothers Switch
(This list was originally posted on April 1st, 2018 for April Fools. I hope you laughed along with me at this. Look forward to a real list on this subject soon!)
After the last Nintendo Direct, I finally went out and bought a Switch. Seeing the announcement of new games really had me going and then the final straw broke my back and convinced me to buy: Nintendo announced that there will be a new Super Smash Brothers game coming to the Nintendo Switch.
We absolutely know with 100% certainty that this is a new game in the series and not a port, so with that established, I'm adding my obligatory mention of the word "Blockchain" early on just to mess with the search engines and then list the ten characters that Nintendo absolutely must add to the ever expanding roster.
1. The Judge (From the Ace Attorney Series)
Capcom and Nintendo have been pretty good buddies for a while, often being more than willing to port their franchises to Nintendo's consoles - even the less than stellar ones. Add to that the Nintendo Exclusive Phoenix Wright Series (Marvel vs Capcom series notwithstanding), and that time Capcom added Megaman to the roster of Smash Brothers for the WiiU and 3DS to promote their highly anticipated upcoming entry into the series, we know that Capcom would never let us down. Now, it's time for Capcom to save the day again by giving fans of Phoenix Wright what they really want: The Judge.
The Judge is the most iconic character in the series. He's Ace Attorney's Pikachu. As stated, he's only appeared on Nintendo games. He's the only person who truly has the power to defeat Phoenix Wright. Forget Miles. Forget Von Karma. The Judge is the true real villain of the Phoenix Wright games, and it's time he got his due.
2. Ashley Graham (Resident Evil 4)
You know what everybody loves? Escort missions, that's what! On top of all the reasons listed earlier for the judge regarding Nintendo's and Capcom's relationship, we here have the character who single-handedly turned Resident Evil 4 into one long escort mission.
Also, Resident Evil 4 did debut on the Nintendo Gamecube before any other platform, so it stands to reason that someone from the game would be a perfect fit for the series! Besides, Smash has always been the place where damsels in distress can be total buttkickers.
Mokap (Mortal Kombat Series)
Seriously, who wouldn't want to play as Mortal Kombat's 77th favourite "Kombatant?" Rumor has it Netherealm wants to get back into publishing on Nintendo, and what would be a great way to introduce that relationship, and promote the next entry into the Mortal Kombat Series? By announcing Mokap as an entry into Smash Brothers. They can do it at E3 where they can introduce the character AND announce Mortal Kombat 11 or XI or ExOne or whatever they're going to call it.
Heck, Mokap is so good he wouldn't even have a final smash!
Umaro (Final Fantasy VI)
Just put the controller down and let Umaro do the rest.
Lydia (The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim)
All I can say is this: Holding all the trophies in a bag for later use.
Look, we all know that everyone who played Skyrim married this girl on at least one playthrough. She's a perfect fit for Smash!
Darth Vader (Star Wars Battlefront II)
With a Darth Vader Amiibo, you can then open a menu where for only $2.99 you can get a chance to unlock this character. Maybe. If it doesn't work you can always pay to try again.
Only one try allowed per Amiibo.
Dante (Devil May Cry Reboot)
Who needs tough shojou characters when you can have the cringe-inducing loveable jerk Dante from the rebooted Devil May Cry series! (And no, I will not call him "Donte." Because of journalistic integrity and all that.)
Come on! We all know who the better Dante is! And the better Dante would make a perfect addition to Smash. Heck, if there's space limits, he could even replace Shulk, or Corrin, or one of the many other sword users who isn't from Zelda or named Marth.
And guess who owns him? That's right: Capcom. In fact, Capcom should consider coming out with their own fighting game! Maybe even collaborate with another company that also has famous characters. Oh well, perhaps someday.
Goku (Dragon Ball Xenoverse)
I don't think anyone actually wants to play as Goku. I think, because balancing is important in any competitive fighting game, everyone would just love nothing more than to see Goku get his butt smashed off the stage by Jigglypuff, or Olimar, or someone else who in their canon universes have no business beating up a super-saiyan.
And that is exactly why Goku must be in Smash. Or maybe they are serious, and are completely unaware of the reality of what makes a good fighting game and just want someone they know will be completely overpowered. Their saltiness will also make me happy.
Garbodor (Pokemon Series)
Just admit it. He's secretly your favorite Pokemon. Sure he's Gen V's knockoff of Muk, but I seriously think an overflowing bag of smelly trash is a better and more design than a purple smelly blob that's supposed to be sewage. You know I'm right here.
Yet Another Zelda (Zelda: Wand of Gamelon)
Of all the Zeldas, Sheiks, Petras and such that have been in Smash, we know that they're going to add another one in the new entry for the Switch and it's going to be from the first Zelda game to use Voice Acting.
No, not Breath of the Wild. That's just appeasing to the folks who don't recognize the greatest entry in the Legend of Zelda series. I'm talking about a Zelda game that was so amazing, so creative, so wonderful, that Nintendo has scrubbed it from their history because it made every other game in the series pale in comparison.
I'm talking about Zelda: Wand of Gamelon.
Do it Nintendo. Give the series the proper acknowledgement it deserves. A spot on the roster in Smash.