ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

7 Days to Die Game Review

Updated on August 18, 2013

I just couldn't wait..

Friday, like many others I waited all day for my key to arrive in my email, so that I could download this long awaited game called 7 Days to Die. I spent a good portion of my morning checking on materials, plans, and game mechanics from the fine people who were gracious enough to post gameplay videos. By Saturday morning my key had not yet arrived. However, I have been talking with the lead developer for the past several days, and he and I had worked up a rather friendly relationship. I would share things with him, ideas and such, and he would listen, while working his ass off to get everyone's keys out. It wasn't until much later in that evening that my key would arrive.

So in the mean time. I checked out a twitch channel operator called Brian Titan. He was using the "bridge" technique, rather than the "rooftop" technique. I was rather confused by this. Why weren't these people just digging holes and putting themselves in the holes?

I mean, this IS minecraft part 2 right!!??

Key Arrival

Well the answer to that question is a resounding NO!

This is not minecraft, as a matter of fact this is nothing like minecraft. To compare this beautiful succulent titty of awesomeness, to minecraft is a travesty. Minecraft has never, I repeat never, made me curl up in an assball on a roof, scared to death that the zombies hording beneath my feet are going to break through the floor and pull me down. I couldn't help but to feel like the boy in Tremors (1990 Movie). It was my first thought, I said to myself, "Self, you are now Melvin Plug, the anti social teenager from Arizona or some damn place.. Weird eh? The game takes place in Navezgane, Arizona..

I found myself clinging for dear life as the sun once again rose, and the zombies slowed to a crawl rather than the "Oh Shit" fast sprint they are capable of at night. I had found 3 or 4 bottles of water, an MP5, 4 clips of 10mm, and a can of spam. That can of SPAM, just happened to come off a bloated police officer. I was looking kind of down on my food and my water consumption. So I drank my water, then ate the spam. Well turns out dumbass, that the SPAM has a salt content, and therefore you need more water. Ughhh.. Off the roof and to another house I suppose..

So what is there to do?

I'm not exactly sure. I have only spent a combined total of about 2 hours on this game.

I will say this, the first time I played, I mistakenly fell off a rooftop into a horde of zombies. Needless to say, they mercilessly ripped me apart. I died another time from starvation, and tripping over cacti.

The 3rd try, I was able to successfully survive a night by hiding in an attic. I was pretty dang happy, but my ADD during that night had taken over, I exhausted all of my ammo, by shooting down into the floor below me. This was a futile mistake, due to the fact, THEY JUST KEEP COMING! You are not going to kill them all. I did find that it was possible to quickly loot the bodies right after killing the zombies, I am aware this may be cheating, but something has to give.

I jumped down once it was day time again, cleared up a few zombies and moved to a different house. I have found that if you knock out load bearing walls it is possible for an entire house to cave in.

My Suggestions to you as a new player.

  1. Find Shelter first
  2. Get a few pieces of wood, don't punch the trunk of a tree, punch the second one up.
  3. Make planks, board up holes in your shelter.
  4. After a sturdy shelter exists, go scavenging.
  5. Be back in your shelter before 5:00 PM
  6. Climb on Roof
  7. Tuck into Ass Ball.
  8. Wait for morning
  9. Avoid ADD shooting, you need that flippin ammo!

Comment Question

Has a game ever terrified you? If so, which game?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Ashleign profile image

      Ashleign 4 years ago

      Thanks! you'll be eating plenty of spam in this game.

    • profile image

      Spam eater 4 years ago

      This is hilarious! Awesome!