ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Base Wars on the NES - Worst Nintendo Games of All Time

Updated on September 16, 2014
At the mental institution where they made Base Wars for the NES, they repeatedly took a crap on it during the testing phase. Part 2 of the test phase involved feeding the game to a gorilla and watching for what color it crapped out.
At the mental institution where they made Base Wars for the NES, they repeatedly took a crap on it during the testing phase. Part 2 of the test phase involved feeding the game to a gorilla and watching for what color it crapped out.

Brought to You From the People Who Also Made Poop in Their Pants... It's Base Wars for the NES!

You know what happens when you combine the pastoral action of baseball with something futuristic and incredibly retarded? Base Wars on the Nintendo Entertainment System, that's what. This game is a half-decent baseball simulator that someone took a crap all over. The game makes no sense at all. It's sort of like if you took NBA Jam and combined it with Mortal Kombat. Hrm... actually, that doesn't sound half bad, huh? Raiden is gonna dunk all over your ass.

So the concept of the game is pretty stupid. You play baseball. Right, we got that. Okay, and your team is made of futuristic robots that make absolutely no sense. What the hell is up with the guy whose legs are tank treads? How does this dude go up stairs and stuff? What a crappy ass robot!

Old School Gamers Need a Pack Like This. Get Yours Today on Amazon.

Be Warned, Viewing This Footage May Lower Your IQ Several Points. It's Base Wars on the NES Gameplay.

Get him back to his padded cell and put him back to work programming Base Wars for the NES. We need to make money off of dumb children who eat paste and don't know any better about good video games. Glad we thought of this.
Get him back to his padded cell and put him back to work programming Base Wars for the NES. We need to make money off of dumb children who eat paste and don't know any better about good video games. Glad we thought of this.

Programmed by Mental Patients and Play tested by Dan Quayle in the War Room

So the game play is... well... it's baseball. We've all played bases loaded, which is a decent baseball game on the NES. Where does the fun come in on Base Wars, you ask? Well, you know how you have to tag people out and stuff like that in baseball? Well, in Base Wars the robots BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER. Does that make ANY sense? What sort of schizophrenia did the design team have in order to come up with this garbage?

The game might be kind of interesting but it has one flaw... it's on the NES. Yes, that's right. One on one fighting games weren't really the strong point of the Nintendo Entertainment System, mostly because the controller only has two buttons. So, Base Wars basically suffers from this problem. Some of the robots are just freakishly overpowered, too. Guns vs. slapping and kicking, eh? Smart.

Two controller buttons basically means this in most fighting games: Punch 1. Kick 2. Then they got clever and thought of pressing both at the same time. That button combination usually resulted in the game player realizing they were wasting their time on the NES, and playing Super Nintendo instead with its 6 button controller.

Just what the crap is going on here, anyway? Let me repeat that. Just what the crap IS going on here, anyway? Is this how schizophrenics view baseball?
Just what the crap is going on here, anyway? Let me repeat that. Just what the crap IS going on here, anyway? Is this how schizophrenics view baseball?
This trophy goes out to the human race, who have clearly demonstrated that they are worthy of living in the universe with games like Base Wars for the NES. Congratulations everyone. We've made it.
This trophy goes out to the human race, who have clearly demonstrated that they are worthy of living in the universe with games like Base Wars for the NES. Congratulations everyone. We've made it.

What... Why? Seriously, Why? WHY Did They MAKE This?

There's basically not much else to say about this piece of crap. The designers were schizo, and they programmed this butt chunk of a game in a mental institution. The gameplay is fast. The fights are... freakin' weird! Sometimes you're some robot dude trying to pimp slap some guy with a gun, and he just shoots your ass down fast. It makes no sense. I don't even get it. I'm not even going to try. I don't want to try. You should definitely not try, either.

Any sane person should attempt to contact mental health professionals if at any time they have found this game to be "totally awesome."

The only reason that Base Wars on the Nintendo Entertainment System doesn't get shoddy, crappy reviews is because the music is half-decent, and the baseball action is fast. Yeah, which also means you're done playing faster. Thank goodness. This game belongs up a camel's butt crack, never to return. If NASA had put this game on the Voyager II satellite and aliens found it, they would think we were a planet of completely insane morons. Which, apparently we are. This is what we make. Congratulations, human race. You win.

Bob-omb Plush! You Can Get One of These Cute Guys Right Now on Amazon. Aren't They Great? Watch Out Though. They're Explosively Awesome.

What do you think?

Does this game stink link a pile of rotting dung, or did you like it?

See results

© 2014 Rywads

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)