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Devolver E3 2018...Yeah...

Updated on July 15, 2018
Source

Devolver's conference was better than last year's and honestly I wasn't expecting that. I like how they focused on the conference and skits within said conference and not devolve to people sitting around and playing video games that looked uninteresting over all.

But let's go over the madness that awaited us...

Is this guy playable...?
Is this guy playable...? | Source
Probably what no one has had in mind.
Probably what no one has had in mind. | Source
Looks fun, don't it...?
Looks fun, don't it...? | Source

DEVOLVER! YEEEEEAH!

So the conference started with Cinco Miller as he explained that they had new management, and a new direction. Really vague, and then he mentioned Devolver was getting into the "Battle Royale" play space. Well that was until Nina Strutter from last year comes out of nowhere, kills Miller by snapping his neck, and started the conference in earnest... Sure...Why not...? She announced that the conference would have overly flashy graphics, guest appearances from recognizable personalities, and marketing that would ignite a nostalgic response. I swear, it's like they get it. It was the same with last year's conference, as they poked fun at the superficial PR jargon E3 conferences are known for.

And she vuglarly addressed how the criticism that there weren't enough game reveals at last year's conference. A criticism I agree with, and I love how they humorously took it in stride.

We got our first reveal with Scum:Supermax Open World Survival. A trailer of a stout man running for his life from a gun man. The gun man is decapitated by a gunshot from a mech who then crushed the head of the stout guy under its foot. Then the guy becomes a zombie? What? But it looked worth checking out, as I am curious to learn more.

And apparently they'll be implementing loot boxes, which are a deeply insulting monetization model that people foolishly dump their money into. But since it's so monstrously successful along with Crypto currency's massive success, they devised a product called "Loot Box Coin." A currency so secure, not even the owners know its actual value, and it's unregulated. And it's devoid of civil, institutional, and governmental liabilities.(I seriously don't see companies going that far, but strange things have happened, so it's possible.) Loot Box Coin can't be mined, opened, block chained, walleted, or crypto-verified. It of course can be bought with actual money. So loot box coins are like Bit coins, except possibly illegal? Can you buy anything with it, gamble with, and is it worth anything? Well here's the thing, Nina doesn't know, so neither do we.

Nina was about to announce a new game from Dead Host, and mentioned how many might have seen it from a gif, mispronouncing gif, before she corrected by man in the crowd pronouncing it as "jif." It was here that I learned the name of the original developer of "gifs," "Steve Wilhite." The poor sap who corrected Nina was incinerated by her, before they cut to the trailer for "My Friend Pedro." It's a side scrolling rail shooter that gave m the impression that it was a Metroidvania style game given the platform aesthetic of the levels. But it look like fun all the same.

Next was the announcement for nostalgic cash grab. And it came in the form of the Devolver Entertainment System Classic... It came preloaded with 25 classic Devolver games, and when Nina called Jeffery over to test it, snd I got nervous. Jeffery pointed out it was actually a Sega DreamCast, and the game to be demo'ed was Metal Wolf Chaos which was a Japanese exclusive available for the original X-box. Sadly these correction costed Jeffery his life, as he was hacked to death by Nina's assistant, Margret.

And that lead us to our final reveal, which was Metal Wolf, or rather Metal Wolf Chaos XD. It didn't have any actual metal wolves, but a mech crashing through the white house was a good substitute. We got a shot of an enemy mech, AirForce 1, and the protagonist charging into battle. And I must regrettably admit that despite the lack of gameplay footage I am amused. It will also be available for Playstation, Xbox One and PC which is good for my cheap hide. And it will be available later this year, which is awesome.

And just when we thought it was over, the volunteer who lost his arm to the malfunctioned "Devolver Screen Play" device returned with a gun mounted arm, and gunned Nina down in cold vengeance. She was rebuild however, and the results of that will be revealed at next year's E3.

I'm so glad this doesn't exist, nor will companies go this far.
I'm so glad this doesn't exist, nor will companies go this far. | Source
The trailer looked cool
The trailer looked cool | Source

The Conclusion....

The conclusion is this started out well and showed off a few good games, and a legit surprise in MetalWolf Chaos. It was indeed better than last year's Devolver conference, as in it didn't "Devolve."

So here's to hoping next year's conference will be just as good.

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