Five Most Atrocious Children's Toys

“Play is the child’s work,” said Maria Montessori, an expert in children’s education. With this in mind, it is important to exercise care when selecting your child’s playthings. Below is a list of the five most atrocious toys on the market.

The perfect gift for toddlers of ages 3 years and up, this cleaning trolley will make playtime/vocational training feel “just like home.” The trolley is equipped with broom, dustpan, spray bottle, mop, brush, and vacuum—all perfectly sized for nimble young hands.

Alternately, your young one can aspire to a more lucrative position in life. This set comes with a meth lab, two competing kingpins, and lovable sidekick. See instructional video below.

Does your child dream of fame and fortune, but lack the scientific expertise for Lego Breaking Bad? Fear not, this app will use Kim Kardashian’s avatar to guide your child to the right photo shoots and away from posers all the way to the A-list.

I got the Kim Kardashian Hollywood app ironically. Ironically. It's now my favourite thing in the world.

— BriBry (@BriBryOnTour) July 23, 2014

Kim Kardashian: Hollywood Review on Twitter

Perhaps it’s better to opt for an app with a younger role model—after all, many celebrities from Beiber to Lohan and the Olsen twins started out not much older than your youngster. Like Instagram but educational, this photo app has Honey Boo Boo herself teaching cute catchphrases such as “A dolla makes me holla” and “Why can’t my sides be meat?” while providing adorably sassy props such as a pig in a tiara or barrel of cheeseballs!

Children can even share their best photos for the world to vote on and comment upon at TLC.com.

Slender Man is somewhat of a Cinderella story toting what the creative powers of young minds can accomplish. He is the result a crowd-sourced horror story partially written by young ones of various ages. The collective brainchild was catapulted to financial glory as it became a monetized game—an example of how dreams can become reality. Your child can play his app and explore Slender Man’s house from a first person point of view—it’s like a shooter game, but you are actually the prey, running from room to room before he catches and kills you in terrifying ways.