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Goblin War Machine, Free Online Game

Updated on January 18, 2011
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Goblin War Machine is a side scrolling action extravaganza in which you design your own goblin war machine and wreak vengeance on the humans who happen to get in your way.

'Oh great,' you might say boredly. 'Another shoot and crush game, when will this trend ever end?'

To you I would say, "Buck up, sonny! Stop mistaking pessimism for intellect and have some fun!"

There's a great deal of nuance to the game that makes it enjoyable. Though the typical 'do work, earn upgrades' paradigm applies, you don't necessarily need the 'best' upgrades to make the best war machine. Your machine can take many forms, leaving you the choice to design for stability, strength, or all out destructive ability.

Though the graphics are fairly simple, this game manages to pack a great deal of atmosphere into the flash environment.The fact that each upgrade brings with it the chance to experiment anew gives the levels almost unlimited replay value, which is a rare thing in a casual online game. Usually one defeats a level and moves on. In Goblin Wars, levels are merely the backdrop against one tests one's mechanical might.

There are 99 achievements to be earned at the time of writing. I have no doubt that will be expanded in due course. Such a game as this will not fester with a mere 99 levels, it will go on into the hundreds with greatness and style. As it is one gets the impression that no good deed will be left unrewarded in this game. Knock over several houses? Have an achievement! Send the good king hurtling out of his tower? Have an achievement! Work out your nose from your elbow? Achievement!

At the end of each level, one receives history's accounting of one's actions, which leaves one feeling very brave and valiant indeed. The dribs and drabs of dark humor scattered about the place do not go awry, for although these are dark days, there's no need to be too serious about them.

Is the game hard? Well it is certainly possible to fail a level, but I found that mostly occurred when I overestimated the power of my war machine's suspension and ended up face down in a ditch somewhere with the wheels spinning helplessly skyward. As long as you stay on your wheels most of the time, you shouldn't find the game terribly hard going at all.

Long story short, if you're not playing this game, you're wasting your time here on earth.

Play Goblin War Machine!


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