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Lingerie For WoW (World of Warcraft) Players

Updated on October 16, 2009

All that armor can start to chafe without a good layer of lingerie underneath...

So I'm sitting here, writing away on my favorite topic, that of lingerie, and it occurs to me - people who play World of Warcraft are people too. It's easy to overlook them as they spend several hours every day jacked into the matrix of their undoing, but it's unfair to discriminate, and there's a small chance that one of them may one day log out and look at something else online, and if they do, then I want them to be able to get lingerie tips too.

If you've lost a loved one to the World of Warcraft, you can also amuse yourself by dressing them in lingerie whilst they play. The odds that they notice what is happening to their physical being whilst their virtual character is raiding in Azeroth are close to 0.

So, without further ado, let us explore the notion of lingerie for World of Warcraft players.

Granny Panties FTW 

First and foremost, lingerie for WoW players should be unrestrictive. As they spend increasing amounts of time staring at the screen their waistlines will inevitably expand. Large granny panty style bloomers are therefore perfect for the avid player of World of Warcraft.

Choosing Lingerie Colors For WoW Players 

If they play Alliance characters, stick with whites, pale blues, sweet meadow greens and the occasional lemon yellow tone when it comes to lingerie colors. Those who play Horde should be flayed alive (I do not forgive you ganking bastards), and then dressed in deep maroon and red tones, black, deep rich blues and other such colors.

Camisoles - The Perfect Items of Lingerie for WoW Players

Camisoles just make sense for WoW'ers. They are loose fitting, easily donned, and can be changed quickly when they become soiled from the fast food inevitably slopped down the front.  

If you're really going to go all out, consider having the guild's tabard screenprinted on a camisole. If male, your WoW head may not even notice that he is wearing lingerie, so excited will he be to see real world incarnations of the virtual powers he wields.

+1 Bra

Brassieres are essential for reducing droopage, and also provide extra strength stats if equipped with underwire. Ensure that your WoW player is able to wear mail if you are looking at an underwire brassiere, surprising amounts of WoW's are only able to wear cloth.

The Silk Trap

Here on Earth, silk is highly prized, however in Azeroth, silk drops from all types of mobs and can be purchased for just a few gold. Don't be surprised if your WoW player spurns silk lingerie and requests mageweave cloth instead.

Stats and Enchants

If you're having trouble convincing a WoW player to wear lingerie, casually mention that the item you're pushing has a 30% movement bonus, not to mention +30 Agility, +30 Stamina and +30 Strength. This sort of bonus is sure to attract all but the most hardcore casters.  

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    • xaviamage profile image

      xaviamage 8 years ago

      LoL very funny

    • profile image

      Najee 9 years ago

      I'm Horde and proud! You used to be my favorite Hubber , Hope, but now I see you for your true colors..I"m a guy and underwires hurt sometimes cause I'm bent over the computer GANKING allys all day.

    • Misha profile image

      Misha 9 years ago from DC Area

      LOL Thanks for the giggle Hope :D

    • profile image

      Laya 9 years ago

      ahaha! I am a WoW player myself. A few of my friends are WoW players. But I think its more not the granny panties... b/c I know a few of them had lack of eating. As well as myself. But it is well written.

    • profile image

      ILoveLingerie 9 years ago

      Very nice and funny article;)

      I'm no WoW player myself but I tried it and I know several WoW players. You describe them pretty well^^

    • kerryg profile image

      kerryg 9 years ago from USA

      Oh dear, I've never even played and this was hilarious.

      If I ever do, I shall have to remember not to play Horde, since I am not interested in being flayed alive, but I like the Horde's colors much better. ~pouts~ I suppose looking awful in pastels is worth an intact epidermis.

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