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Play the Guitar with Your Feet

Updated on October 15, 2010

Introduction

Look no further for naturalistic guidance than the Internet. Every answer to every question can be found via optimized search engines. To facilitate your lust for knowledge, we offer a high level sampling of questions and answers commonly asked online. Save yourself the trouble of scouring Google and Yahoo: depend on us for bulletproof advice.

Question #1:

I am a successful juggler. Business has been bad lately, with the recession and the rising cost of rubber balls. I need a new angle for my act. Friends suggest that I take up a musical instrument but I tend to get out of breath when I juggle chainsaws. I couldn't possibly carry a tune on a saxophone while balancing the spinning plates and keeping 3 bowling balls in the air. What can I do?

Answer:

Play the guitar with your feet.

Question #2:

Our country is infested with snakes. We hired a guy who promised to help us. He has a flute, and he wants us to believe that he can lure all the snakes away by playing a few tunes. Evidently these particular snakes respond positively to music. He obviously needs help, and possibly counseling. Unfortunately, my countrymen and I are extremely busy beating the snakes to give him much support. Everywhere we go, we carry a burlap bag and a club. How can I help this earnest fellow?

Answer:

Play the guitar with your feet.

Question #3:

I'm a CEO (Chief Operating Officer) of an SEO (Search Engine Optimization) corporation. We provide advanced keyword analysis services, combining 4th generation mathematics and 3D modeling with fractal deconstruction centered around data warehouse leverage. Business is great but we have one deadbeat customer who will not leave us alone. We need a long tail keyword that will cause his online marketing business to collapse in a reeking heap of failure. What long tail keyword should we give to him?

Answer:

Play the guitar with your feet.

Question #4:

I love soccer (American Football). I play on several teams every weekend. All my friends also play soccer. Most of my friends also participate in a largely unsuccessful amateur rock band. They want me to join but I was born with my left and right hands reversed. I cannot play any rock 'n roll instrument that will cause us to rocket into the Top 40 on American FM radio, let alone on iTunes. I could play drums, but I can't find left-handed drumsticks. How can I join the band?

Answer:

Play the guitar with your feet.

Comments

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    • nicomp profile image
      Author

      nicomp really 7 years ago from Ohio, USA

      FYI: This hub is #1 on Google for the long tail keyword "Play the guitar with your feet" (quotes included.)

    • lorlie6 profile image

      Laurel Rogers 7 years ago from Bishop, Ca

      Thanks, nicomp. Another grand entry. Remember, shiny.

    • Mighty Mom profile image

      Susan Reid 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

      You've done it, nicomp! Coined the perfect all-purpose response. Think of the applications!

      "Mommy, are we there yet?" "No, Junior. Play the guitar with your feet."

      "John, I want your report on my desk by 5pm." "Yeah, right. Play the guitar with your feet."

      "Will you marry me?" "On one condition: that you play the guitar with your feet."

      Can't wait to try this out in social situations, too!

    • 2patricias profile image

      2patricias 7 years ago from Sussex by the Sea

      Since neither of us can play the guitar with our hands, we may as well try this.

      Tee hee.

    • sunforged profile image

      sunforged 7 years ago from Sunforged.com

      Ive seen a guy perform and sing while playing a guitar with his feet. His name was Tony Melendez.

      But his questions would be, "What if you were born with no arms"

    • frogdropping profile image

      Andria 7 years ago

      If ever there was an advocate for playing guitar with your feet, it's you nicomp. I'll wager that you have a big stake in the soon-to-be stampede of would-be feet playing guitarists, all high tailing it for their nearest guitar store.

    • Robwrite profile image

      Rob 7 years ago from Oviedo, FL

      A new Universal answer to replace Douglas Adam's '42' as the answer to everything.

      By the way, did you type this hub with your feet?

    • ltfawkes profile image

      ltfawkes 7 years ago from NE Ohio

      nicomp, you stand alone. Except when you have to sit down to play the guitar with your feet.

      If you ever tire of all your various current pursuits, you ought to seriously consider becoming an advice columnist. Think of all the lonely hearts and fueding in-laws you could help.

      And all the guitars (not to mention toe plasters)you could sell.

      Just sayin

      L.T.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 7 years ago from Moundsville, WV

      nicomp,

      As you heard on my Davons tracts I have accomplished the answer to all your peoblems down pat!!!!!!!!!!

    • Stan Fletcher profile image

      Stan Fletcher 7 years ago from Nashville, TN

      Nicomp - a witty and fun twist on the subject. Very creative. Rated up and funny!

    • drbj profile image

      drbj and sherry 7 years ago from south Florida

      nicomp - I'm in real trouble. I understood this hub!

    • Wayne Brown profile image

      Wayne Brown 7 years ago from Texas

      Talk about the universal answer to a broad cross-section of truly American problems...I believe you have old chap! WB

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