Ten Things Wrong With Pokemon
Pokemon is the much beloved franchise having to do with battles, big adventures and cataclysmic events that can possibly destroy the world! Yay! But unfortunately even with Pokemon racking in the big bucks there are still some things wrong with it, I will tell you what they are. Enjoy!
#10, Too Many Legendary's. In the world of Pokemon there are now hundreds of different types, to the old classics to new and innovative ones. Like a living trash bag. Legendary's were those few Pokemon who were very powerful, near impossible to catch at times and were quite mysterious. Pokemon like Mew, Mewtwo, Ho-Oh and a few other were around. Then Pokemon such as Groudon, Rayquaza and others started to appear, the legendary's who were once at the top of the list, then more and more of these guys began to appear. Some were to represent the sun and the moon, others life and death. While I do admit it is kinda cool to have such things like that represented by a Pokemon it leaves the status of Legendary kinda questionable, I mean Charizard represents dragons I don't care what you say, and while he is powerful he isn't legendary. It's just a strange concept to have so many powerful beings in one place.
#9, Non-Hostile?: Pokemon are basically animals with powers, with a few exceptions being myths or the like. There are many Pokemon who are actually quite dangerous, Gyarados is a Pokemon known for its temper and being able to create powerful storms, yet wouldn't that make the world rather terrible to live in? While Ash in many episodes has been burnt to a crisp, electrocuted, drowned and even beaten to a pulp he is in a cartoon. If these beings were to be in the real world chances are they wouldn't be so cool looking once a few of the trainers got attacked. Also take into account how some can cause tsunami's, earthquakes, explosions and even breathe fire I think it is safe to say that these things won't exactly help the world in many ways.
#8, Too Tall Grass Or Pokemon Ninjas?: Okay for a moment that there are actually Pokemon who are ninjas, let us just forget about that for a moment. But when playing through the Pokemon worlds we usually do one thing to catch Pokemon, walk through tall grass. The weird thing is that you would think a trainer could hear the sound of a big grizzly bear like Pokemon lumbering towards them, or a giant Cobra snake. These guys literally get stopped and ambushed by Pokemon in grass, caves, the sea, hell sometimes even in grave yards and temples. Now I know it is a gaming mechanic but come on, every five feet its an ambush. Its like being chased by the paparazzi after they find out you have a secret that they need to expose.
#7, Pokemon Battle! And I Destroyed The House: Pokemon battles are one of the many fun things about being a trainer, going against worthy opponents and seeing who is the better trainer. Then you use Earthquake and take down half the neighborhood. I mean honestly many of the attacks of Pokemon can be devastating, here are a few to name: Blast Burn, Blizzard, Self Destruct, Acid Armor. In games they are some harmless attacks but in reality that would mess some people up, try using blizzard in Texas and see how much stuff you mess up. Hell even some Pokemon are just too big, a giant whale or Snorlax who looks like he could eat your car and then the neighbors car. Case in point is that when you do a Pokemon battle chances are the house won't look the same again.
#6, A Lot Of Crime In These Parts: The world of Pokemon is filled with adventure, imagination, love and friendship, magic and crime? Yes that is right, Team Rocket was the first to fully strike fear into people, kinda. What started off as just stealing Pokemon moved to someone wanting to destroy the world, another wanting to rule the world and I swear it can only escalate from here. In many of the games you must take your Pokemon and battle gym leaders as well as those strange team members, if you can defeat them then maybe, just maybe, you can find something else to do. Honestly not only are there guys like Team Rocket and whatever else name they might have but they also have alot of guys wanting to steal your Pokemon and make you pay tolls and stuff. It is a crime filled work in the Pokemon universe, that's why I carry around a pocket knife.
#5, I have To What To Evolve It?: Pokemon are like the stages of drinking a nice bottle of root beer, your first sip is like a welcoming hug into the world of the drink, the second drink is like a loving reunion of family, the third is the thrill of skinny dipping with a long time love. Sometimes however the third drink gets stalled. That is right in Pokemon they can have multiple evolution's the Pokemon can go through, at times it is pretty simple, you just have to level them up enough. Other Pokemon can have certain stones they need to evolve, others might need certain items and some just have some really weird needs. One being trading it with another person when it is holding a specific item, rather weird since if I trade it then I will no longer have it even if I do evolve it. It is a cool thing which at times does give you something to look forward towards, but the some strange things you need to do to evolve Pokemon are just a little strange, I understand the newer Pokemon games might want you to interact with others but I would like to evolve my Onix without having to give him away like he is a item at a flea market.
#4, Go On My Only Child, Go Fulfill Your Destiny: The thought of being able to take your Pokemon cross country and battle other trainers, earn badges and maybe even become League Champion is a great thought. But that reminds me of something, what kind of self respecting parent would send their kids out on a worldwide hunt of dangerous and deadly animals and with the threat of a criminal organization attacking them near constantly around? While yes it is a game in the real world we call this ridiculous, while yes if the person had been raising the Pokemon for years and what not I would only let my kid either in the backyard and maybe the city. But in another state or continent full of dangerous criminals and animals? Heck no.
#3, No Death, Huh I Expected More: In the real world there are dozens of dangerous animals, bears and sharks and spiders. You name it and we probably have it. The same would have to be said for the Pokemon world, even in the TV show the cast will sometimes get attacked by a wild Pokemon and while it is a kids show in reality they would be dead. Kyogre a giant whale like Pokemon capable of flooding the world could kill us all, Tentacruel is basically the Kraken come to life, Beedrill are giant bee's with a love for stinging the hell out of people. I mean honestly with these kinds of monsters roaming about the humam population of wherever they reside should be very low. Especially when some Pokemon are known to kidnap people.
#2, What Do You Mean We Have No Police?: The Pokemon world such as any other has criminals, we have already talked about that, so you would think that as many times as the criminals have taken over that the police would have done something about it. I mean the criminals aren't exactly hard to see, they aren't a small faction either since it seems that they have a small army, also since the criminals use Pokemon as weapons why couldn't the police or normal citizens? I mean with the amount of times a criminal organization has plotted to do something I would have an army ready to combat that, that's like if your kid kept getting in the cookie jar but you never moved it or scolded them. Yes there are some cops and police folk in the world but they are doing a terrible job.
#1, Don't Eat, Don't Sleep, Repeat: Traveling all around the world can make a guy hungry, doing all these Pokemon battles and saving the world can make a guy tired. But nah screw health. While technically you can sleep it isn't necessary, it doesn't really effect you and mainly is just there to heal your Pokemon. When you go traveling all over the globe you can get tired. The fact that many Pokemon Trainers go around the world, sometimes just running or swimming back and forth in the same place forever don't get tired is just a little bit absurd and quite frankly just exhausting to think about. Minus the how in game it doesn't seem to do much, they never sleep, never eat, never blink...
© 2017 Thomas Finney