- Games, Toys, and Hobbies
Unusual, Weird and Bizarre Board Games (Including Strange Monopoly Versions)
Despite the popularity of video games, and how they're supposedly keeping kids and teenagers in their rooms for days at a time, board games are making a comeback. While Scrabble, Chess, Mouse Trap and Twister are all well and good, if you're looking for some seriously fun games, then you'd better check out the ones below.
Note: In this case, "fun" means horrifying, offensive, and oh-my-God-what-were-they-thinking.
Everyone knows Monopoly, right? You make some money, you buy some houses and hotels, and you scream at some family members in anger and frustration. Seriously, I don't know anyone who's ever finished the game and still managed to remain sane.
But as bad as the original Monopoly is, it is nothing compared to these abominations:
Monopoly: Heinz Edition
I had a good laugh showing this to my dad, as he's an accountant in a Heinz Irish branch. The down side is that he wants to buy it now.
So, I guess that the aim here is to buy all of the famous Heinz brands, and whoever owns it all at the end of the game wins? That's just a guess. I actually have no idea what's going on here.
It's not available on Amazon, but apparently it pops up on EBay from time to time. The word is that it's a one-run company edition, and will never be created. I wonder why that is?
Now you can play as a pimp, a hooker, a bag of cocaine, and other offensive "black" stereotypes. I'm not sure what else to say, apart from, "Dibs on the marijuana leaf!"
(Not-so) Honourable Mentions
Monopoly: John Deere Collector's Edition
It's... it's a Monopoly game... with tractors and other farm stuff. Oh, and it's a collector's edition, so for some reason, it's pretty valuable.
The Parker Brothers hadn't made Monopoly dull enough, so this fishing edition was released.
I like Pokémon, but this is ridiculous. Especially since the game costs one hundred and fifty god damn pounds on Amazon!
Mark Twain's Memory Builder
If you're a history buff, then there's a chance you'll enjoy this game, but to me it sounds an awful lot like work. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I thought games were supposed to be fun. Mr. Twain patented this game on the 18th of August, 1885, with the aim of helping the public develop their memory of dates and facts. It failed though, because the instructions were far too complicated. According to one critic, "The game looked like a cross between an income tax form and a table of logarithms."
1. The board represents any century.
2. It also represents every century.
3. You can choose a particular century and focus on the history of one nation for that time period, or you may concentrate on every nation's history for the period in question.
4. Alternatively, you can just go totally crazy and include all history in all centuries. You rascal!
Sounds fun, dunnit?
The Welfare Game
Published by Jedco, "The Welfare Game" is a satirical board game about welfare and the Department of Social Services. It's best played with 2 - 4 people.
The aim is to buy as many household appliances as you can before the finance company can repossess them. The more appliances you've purchased, the more often you can collect finance charges from the other players. Just like in real life!
I... guess it sounds fun, but it's quite bizarre. Sort of like Monopoly for people who don't have a job.
A Happy Guy Reviews the Pac-Man Board Game
Milton Bradley, did we really need another board game based on a video game?
This game comes with two dice. Roll them to see how many spaces Pac-Man can move. (Just in case you didn't know how a dice works.) If you come across an energizer pellet, Pac-Man eats it and the hunted becomes the hunter - chase down the ghosts and banish them from the board.
Apart from the two dice, the game includes a board with holes to hold the power and energizer pellets, two ghost pieces, four Pac-Man player pieces, and some marbles that represent power and energizer pellets.
This game is like Mouse Trap, except with little flying people instead of rodents.
The object of the game is to launch "Flying Finnegan" into the water tank. Do this four times before anyone else, and you win.
If you've set the game up properly, when you push the button the flagpole rises, Flying Freddy climbs down the pole, releasing the marble, which rolls down the track and hits the tank latch. This opens the tank and the five marbles roll into the marble catch.
While all this is going on, the "POW" flag hits the Flying Finnegan sign, twirling Flying Joe and Flying Flo down the spiral, who then bang into the Boom Hammer, knocking the marble into the bucket. This causes the Long Hammer to move, releasing Flying Finnegan. He is flung through the air into the water tank, the lid of which closes with a ring of the bell.
Pretty sure it takes longer to set up this game than it does to play it. And was that a "POW" flag? as in "Prisoner of War?" Jesus...
101 Nights of Great Sex
Alright, this game is for adults only. Described as "the game of surprises, sexual trivia, and secret-sealed seduction."
It includes a game board, 101 "secret sealed seduction cards," one notepad and pencil, two player pieces, one dice, and two trivia books with over 400 sex-themed questions.
Wait... 400 sex questions? I didn't know there were that many.
Now, I'm not poking fun at this game because it's sex-related. I'm poking fun at it because it's a board game giving couples advice on how to spice up their love-life.
And it's hilarious because... well, because I know nothing about romance, sex, or relationships, yet I'm criticising couples who play this game.