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A Day In My Life With PMDD

Updated on May 28, 2014

Smack dab in the middle of it all. It is evil for me. The day I begin to ovulate is doomsday now. I enter the darkest place I've ever known. Scariest part. I cannot get out no matter how hard I try. No matter how bad I want to. I can still see and hear everyone talking to me. But it's like they don't see what has happened. They want answers. I want to run and hide until what feels like the waking nightmare is over. For I do not have answers. Only questions like you. Like why does everything feel this way today when I know it isn't true. I live about a week in this dark world. Alone. Angry. Fatigued by it's repetition and predictability. Still. Each time is like the wretched first. I just want to scream out. Somebody please save me. How much more can one soul take. How many more times can one not be able to explain it away. I can see myself. Heavy chains lying across my shoulders. I just want to push them off. But I can't listen. The only thing I can hear is the echo of my tears hitting the floor. If I could just defeat it. Make it never return. Maybe then I could keep a friend. Be a better mom. Daughter. Sister. Coworker. Stranger. I will return. Not today. Not tomorrow. But soon. It cannot take my Hope. The darkness will lift. I will see the light again. If only for another short while. ~ ps 20014

© 2014 ImaSurvivor74


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