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Build Your Self Esteem

Updated on June 12, 2014

Self Esteem

Self Esteem

Self-esteem is our feeling of self worth that influences our behavior and interaction with others. We can’t touch it or feel it but it is with us all the time and is part of us.

We begin to develop our self esteem when we are very young. With each new thing we learn, with each bit of praise we receive for that new achievement, we learn to feel good about ourselves.

When we are younger, our self esteem is more likely to be affected by how we think others see us and how they value us. As we grow older, and our lives become more established, our self esteem is less affected by other people. However in our adult lives, it is still very important to understand that self-esteem is largely in our own hands.

Our behavior is largely learnt as the consequence of interactions with others and circumstances. We know it is possible to re-learn and help ourselves to change.

‘Self help’, ‘positive thinking’ and ‘positive attitude’ - we hear these phrases much more these days. We see questionnaires in magazines, we see lots of books for sale which are aimed at helping people to re learn and re train themselves towards a happier and more successful life.

We can find articles and self-esteem tests on the internet. Altogether we are unlikely now to be unaware that we can begin to think about improving our self esteem.

Children suffering from low self esteem can suffer badly. It is important to recognize signs of low self esteem in children, and to learn how best to help boost their confidence and help them deal with being ‘regular’ kids and not necessarily top achievers.

Advice and help should be available in most schools, or though your local medical centre. If professional counseling is considered necessary, do listen to your child if they say they don’t get on with the counselor – like all of us it is possible to get on well with some people but not others. This is even more important for children who can find it hard to talk about how they feel to adults they don’t know.

We, as adults, can read about self help methods for dealing with low self esteem, and we can hopefully find someone we trust to talk to about it. We can make decisions about how best to look after ourselves, both physically and mentally, and we can plan our strategy for improving our self esteem.

We can change the way we deal with events, we can learn to see the positive side of things, and we can change the way we perceive ourselves. This is not always easy by any means, but it can be done, a bit at a time.

Once we see how to help ourselves, we are then in a better position to try and help others. Most of us know friends or family members who under value themselves and find it difficult to face new challenges. How better to help our own self esteem than by knowing we are helping someone else.


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    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      4 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Self-esteem is a delicate issue, no matter what age we are! We are all affected by how we think others see us, and how we feel about ourselves. It affects our learning and behavior, as well as our beliefs, especially when those close to us make derogatory comments about how we look or the things we do.


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