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Don't Let Anyone Steal Your Joy

Updated on October 20, 2010
In search of a Lost Cord
In search of a Lost Cord

Our Greatest Joy

What could have brought unto World any Greater Joy than this.
What could have brought unto World any Greater Joy than this.

Living with Joy

Well, for the most part this is about my life and the choices I made, and the path I traved due to those choice I made.  I hope just maybe theres's a few out there who might fine something in this story that just might stir there thoughts to the paths their on, and wether they given much thought to wether there are wiser choice for them or someone they love for that particular path being traviling, It's really healthy for us to just kick back once in a while and reflect some on just how were traveling through life, and are we making strong and solid choice's in our life, so we don't find ourselv'es running head on into "Our Golden Years" and find ourself's totally unprepaired, as for myself, since I'm already here it's ovious I found allot of area's where I was very vulnerable and unprotected. Like being forced to lower my standard of living because of poor choice I had made years earlier, so this was one area that I was for sure not living with joy. So to be honest, this wasn't something I mastered, it’s something I had to learn, and practice. I never realized just how many times a day someone tries to steal your joy or to pull us down to their level of mind and thinking. They say that Miserere love's company and I never thought about that as I went through most of my adult life, I might of heard it a few times from relatives that always seemed to care and felt it was their responsibility of passing on a few bit of wisdom for me to take along my journeys, its ashame I didn't take more of them to heart back then as i do now. I heard allot of those kind of cliché, and as I gathered some of my own personnel wisdom along the way as I traveled through life especially since I was taking on the role of being a Husband and later a parent which for sure comes with allot of responsibilities, if one is to take proper care of those he loves, He finds the true worth of what a family is all about, that why today I point my children and loves one towards reading psalm and Proverbs, because it explains quite clearly what's required of fathers or a wife and thier children and how each should treat the other and how they all should serve and fellowship with our Lord Christ and it clearly explains how and why we should obey his will and what's, really! nice is how it breaks down what the rewards or conseqences are if we do or don't choose to work these structures into our daily lives.                                   

 Obeying his desires brings about a Joy one almost glows from, if you were to ask me today, why I have chosen this new path, I have to say" family's who desires peace and harmony, and for sure closeiness its highly recommend to each read those two sections of their Holy Bible. I try telling all those I meet, and get into a dicussion on how one might manage Joy and keep it flowing in their life, How I wish I would have understood and practiced more back when i was a young adult, that which I'm sharing now I would have made the road my Wife and Children's are traveling on today far nicer. 

I actually was made aware on just how serious it is to structure my life around church, family, friends and education, and that is exactly what I was to be exposed to while in this program called New Choices under the Supervision on Danny Jones, a Man I will always be indepted too. but we get to that in a bit. But first I thought looking at certain foundations that we base or decisions on, might best set the stage to the one single thought that we can say unto ourselfs each and everyday of our lives, especially when confronted by an angry or distrubed indiviual that get into our safe zone, or as some say personell zone. All I know is it truly helped me through daily practise to use this approach when dealing with any thing that seemly was causing me to feel uncomfortable, so I wouldn't have to lose any of my joy this fine and wonderful day, and in doing so makes my daily experiences go so much smoother, So lets do it together for your first time, by stating togethe "I won't let anyone steal my joy" by making statements like these can truly change the way we precieve and feel life around us. These daily statements we make to ourselves as we manage all our day to day activities as they surface throughout the day. So reviewing one's choice's on how were going to address them one by one as they surface, bare's on how there going effect us from day to day, I hope to demonstrate just how valuble these choice are, and what a difference it makes to knowing how to choose the correct thinking so to resolve them before they consume us. As we walk through life , many of us really don't think much during our youthfuliness periords, just what impact our choice's will have on what we feel and think latr in life, and how this fornulate the whole of who we become and how we're going to feel, as we enter are golden years. life. Yes I miss them, I'm sure many do and will for sure when they to reach their Golden years, well are you ready.

Hopefully your career chooses you, because it what naturally makes you shine and you’re truly good at, and it's just possibly it is what you were destined to do anyway, but hey that a whole another Hub. Truthfully with everything going perfect in life you can still find your self getting frustrated and stressed with everyday life. Especially as you move closer to your twilight years. Well at least this is how it happened to me, It seems like I just woke up one day with this feeling that those you spent the better part of your life, working with or caring for has moved on and their world, and it doesn’t seem to revolve around you like it once did. I can't speak for others, but it really scared me, I began to think and acting out some really strange behavior especially with those I loved and cherished, and to be honeset, I really didn't notice it at first any difference in my behavior, and believe me I didn't react so well when others would hint or just openly point out just how I was coming across to them and others.

Come to a Realization about ones Self
Come to a Realization about ones Self

Coming to realize I had problem

    Well at least this is how it happened to me,  It seems like I just woke up one day with this feeling that those you spent the better part of your life, working with or caring for has moved on and their world, and it doesn’t seem to revolve around you like it once did. I can't speak for others, but it really scared me, I began to think and acting out some really strange behavior especially with those I loved and cherished, and to be honeset, I really didn't notice it at first any difference in my behavior, and believe me I didn't react so well when others would hint or just openly  point out just how I was coming across to them and others.

    The mental and Physical changes started surfacing as I approached sixty, Some situations didn't phase me, sense I saw so many before me learned to live with them, and for others it didn't take me long to acquire little items that aided me with them, like forgeting where you laid your key down, So as I slowly figured how to remember phone numbers by using a cell phone, and for having difficulty finding my car in large and busy parking lots. But the thing I seemed have the biggest reaction to was when others would tend to dismiss me from certain job related functions as if I couldn't handle them any longer, then it started at home, Like oh here dad I'll do that for you, or your wife would jump on you about doing certain things by yourself, when I had been doing these thing like forever.  Oh! then came the snapping back at people and getting upset or anger over the simplest things without a real serious reason. Like someone using something of mine with out asking, or using something and not put it back if was as if I had forgotten for a few moments that they were a long time friend or family member who had come to believe it was cool, Ha. I most likely in the past would say, hey don't be silly just go get it, you don't haave to ask.. Even when I went to a restaurant and a waiter left something off my order I had asked for I would get upset and have to say something, and what made it worse, instantly everyone would try to cover for me or fix it. so what I didn't realize at this point is that I had over the years stuffed away allot of issues I had encountered along the way for one reason or another, usually because someone’s else problem at the time seemly need my attention, rather than dealing with self, and as I will discover in time to come I will resent others because of that choice.

   Now to really cap off everything I had an auto accident and Hit my Mouth on the steering wheel and busted out my Permanent parcels, which wasn't cheap to repair. I was so embarrassed about others seeing me with out my upper teeth, and I started dropping out of everything. and dismissing others to go on ahead with out me making matters worse we were having money problems, a Hurricane just happen to go past our House in Downtown Houston, Texas, which really made things difficult to sort out and place priority on, oh and to put the icing on the cake the economy takes a nose dive and I get laid off, so bills start piling up and the Country wasn't faring well it self. and if this wasn't enough on my platter I was in constant pain with some teeth that had dissolved to the gum line as I was using super glue to hold the messed up Parcels back in, because I didn't want to tax our cash flow to cover the problem, yep still stuffing it all in, smiling on surface and screaming inside because I didn't want to dump it on those who need me to be strong. I then stupidly let one of my sons talk me into trying coke on them, to kill the pain. Hey it worked and sense the doctor had cut off my pain medicine at the moment it made sense. To make it short I got Busted going out and trying to obtain some on my own, and I ended up in jail, I can't even begin to share with you how I felt inside about life in general, and especially when my family came and saw me through that pane of Plastic, wearing a carrot suit. It’s like I went from super Dad to Dad the looser. But as I spent a few months in the county jail, I met a man, who changed my life, Mr. Danny Jones of Harris County Substance abuse program, Its funny they were just going to give me a couple of months in the county, but I decide to see if I could use this time wisely, so I asked the court if I could get into any programming, like anger management, so they offered me New Choices, which was for six months, my family didn't like it at all but, and all but disowned me, letters stopped coming, talk of separation, and seemly all because I took on the extra time to get the program. Putting my needs before there’s, but as I found through group it’s always easier to dismissed thing by hanging the blame on others thoughts and actions...

   Well! at first I didn't hit off too well with the councilor, we just got off to a bad start, but as the weeks unfolded, I began to note, how much this guy really cared for all these Inmates, If was as if he was going to save them all from themselves. Truly He had to be totally committed to this career, Me I would have thrown my hands up from the get go, these guys were just out of control, constantly trying to run the show, or to better put it take control of the tank, But I had to respect the guy, out of thirty I started with he had turned about half of their lives around and change their entire behavior pattern, including mine. And believe me I didn't make it easy on him; I question everything and reluctantly surrendered one day at time.

   I honestly didn't believe I had that serious of an anger problem, and I didn't have anything in common with anyone in there, but he never gave up, and trust me I had really pushed his buttons at time, especially when he hit the nail on the head, with something I didn't even want to address, openly I'd explode and strangely enough everything he asked at first would cause me to explode as if some forced was locked inside just dieing to be released, yes he so diligently worked stripped me of all my stubborn pride and lies I used to cover everything up, because I thought a major part of being a man was to never show weakness. Being in his group was something I miss at times when little crisis arise even today.

   So what did I learn, well that everyman on this planet, should learn and memorize the 12 step of AAA, and that they will never bring their life under control with out surrendering their life over to a Higher power, Actually the first three are life changing, if you choose to except them Which he highly recommended we consider seriously, To Practice the 2nd of the 12 steps. If we wished to bring the others to a greater understanding first. It read "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity". At the end of this Hub I did type these out for you. He never forced it down anyone’s throat but did however through tape or actually church seminars and sermons, Which some were really good at getting others to feel and think, then he emphasize family, that we had to except the responsibility of what our action cost our families and community, and what are obligation were to being apart of a family, or worse except the possibility we would eventually lose it. But the things that stuck in my mind the most is those he keep repeating over and over, like the one thing he admitted he wouldn't let anyone do regardless of the situation " He wouldn't let anyone steal his joy. And he made sure he found away of saying that everyday. Oh another was if it didn't apply let it fly. He used that to disarm those that felt prosecuted by things he said. We also watch a lot of video, that demonstrated just how we let our lives and as well as those in the video's to be turned inside out, because of the poor choices made and all the New Choices they had to make to change their thinking so they could change their behavior patterns so to get back on track with there lives. Yep he had these simple little phrases he'd say everyday. He also, didn't take any Bullshit, if you would try to step around the real issues, he'd say fast and loud, Bullshit. Yes there’s one man that had figure life out and mastered not only his profession, but his personal life, with a few simple daily thought, but the magic was he believed in them with all his heart, and he was totally devoted to that which he had committed to. I regret that I didn't really leave convincing him, just how much he had done for me, I Imagine, he really gets very little recognition for his true labor, but what he gives himself with those simple disciplines, makes all the difference. Theirs allot of parents out there that will never realize what turned their Childs life around, because he a modest man, and just does what he feels he's lead to, by the lord.

Closing Thoughts

Our Own Sense of Revelations as we come to Know it, brings about one closing thoughts
Our Own Sense of Revelations as we come to Know it, brings about one closing thoughts

Summary and General Thoughts in Closing

Well I hope this was of some value, and if any of you ever wish you had a set of those three magic sheets he sends everyone home with, the 12 Steps, the serenity prayer, and his 26 packs of work sheets on every common problem, humanity encounters as they travel though life. just call Harris County Sheriff Department in Houston, TX, and ask for Mr. Danny Jones of Harris County Substance abuse program, just tell them he's has been a councilor there for 8 years. or call anywhere your child is being Incarcerated because of Drugs, Anger, or just out of control, and ask how can your child get into the New Choices program such as the one Harris County in Houston, Texas 77002 offers, I highly recommend everyone call and ask every sheriff department that question, because if they feel that are child should be removed from society because of these problems, then they are responsible now for their welfare, sense when they need our children to fight their wars, or to build their cities then they have inherited the responsibility of seeing that they get every fighting chance to learn how to make New Choices, so to over come the forces that cause them to make those bad choices that have led them to their door step, remember we pay their salaries, we made the choice to have a Department of Correction, so we should have some voice on how are children are being gilded through the process of being corrected, not just housed and released with the same if not worse problem than they arrived with. Harris County's Guards that work with New Choice work just as hard as the Substance abuse Staff does, they strive to in steal within each and everyone of them that if you return again, this is a cake walk compared to where you're headed,

HarrisCounty take this programming serious, they even bring in to every thank, Clergymen that meet there needs to their religion. and what even better they address all their medical problems, then walk them through every step needed to reentering society the proper way, The Counselors actually talk with family members, share there growth with them, and hear the issues they are concerned about when Johnny comes home, so those issues can be address throughout the length of the group meetings which are 3 to 4 hours a day and believe me these men know how to strip away each others armor and yet still have heart to help mend their scaring, even when its self infected.. So just as you go to vote on Election Day, call and be heard on how you vote for the care of those you love. So if you’re in another City or state, you should call your local Sheriff Department and ask them if they have something similar to New Choices as HarrisCounty in Houston, TX77002 has. If not maybe recommend they contact New Choices and ask them to request some material on it. Living with joy is so much easier to do when those that love you become evolved with understanding what your dealing with, Drugs today are designed to addict, because those that have them manufactured do so to make profit, so since they have 60 years or so of experience in guiding our youth of America to addiction, and they seemly have allot of power if their able to avoid prosecution or being shut down or stopped. So we can't just use those old ways of thinking any more, this game is serious, these are our children, not just a few here and there, I mean in the millions, they just tried to do what they thought everyone else is doing. They had no idea, just how addicting these new drugs are. So we must fight back, by helping our authorities to save our Children lives, through programs like New Choices.

I remember as a youth going to the movie of apocalypse Now, with Marlon Brando, and he said a line that has stuck with me all my life the "Horror of it all" Well today I walk the streets allot, and I believe its at a point in time when we admit this Drug War is the war of all wars, it's destroying the very fabric of what this world hold most sacred our family. While we're staring at the sky for the possibilities of meteors coming. our measuring the water level at shore, to see just how fast the Icebergs are melting, and all of the other things that are placed on our family tables of trought from the Internet, TV, Media, School, even all of us talking about them as we gather , just for a second pause, and imagine what are children are hearing and digesting at 5, 7, 9, and years of age and older as they sit in the background, I can just Imagine that just maybe we have been a bit careless on how we have dumped so much on their developing minds way to early, before they have even had the opportunity to experience the magic of life. I'm sixty three Four old and I can hardly deal with the horror of all that has happen, and that's being predicted to happen. I can imagine a 10 year old dealing with it. To give you an example, I was walking through my community and a mother yelled out to her children to get out of the street, because a guy honked his horn to warn them, as he approached, because they were playing ball. When the boy said to the other kid’s "Hey no big deal were all going to be dead in 2012 anyway, and a little girl said, why are we going to die to the young boy? I almost wanted to stop and listen to what he was telling her and the others. But today its taboo to approach others children, even if you know them. We have been so controlled by the Horror of it all. but if we all put are hand on our children’s shoulders and walk with them each day, so that we can assure ourselves of the path their on, surely missing a few Soap Opera episodes, football game, a night out with the guys, or a party at the Flamingo Lounge won't cramp our stlye. But at least we sleep better and won't have to wonder what our children are up to and who their hanging with,

What happen to our grandparents, they all seem to have disappeared lately, I see so many retirement home going up everywhere, and my mom has been in one for years, and she does as much work in hers as the staff does. Oh well it's a shame they had helped raise their children’s children for centuries, and all of a sudden they are all better off in the retirement center, isolated from children’s laughter, from being able to tell them stories are to read to them, or even answer a few of their questions, since mom and dad are at work all the time. Well I think the rest is all up to every parent in the world, how much longer are we going to wait, are we going to just hold off till 2012, just incase they are right this time, Oh let them continue to stealing our Joy, after all there’s the 2020 prediction. Heck I believe there will always be another to replace the ones that just seemly get swept under the rug, once they no longer obtain some effect over the masses, but can we afford the earlier effect of a young boy believing he's going to die in two years anyway, so why care! Is it possible we all might be letting others steal our Joy!!!, and worse OUR CHILDRENS!

This is the 12 Steps of AAA

1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol-- that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personnel inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awaking as the result of all these steps, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I hope these might be of valve to you as they have my life and many others


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    • gr82bme profile image


      8 years ago from USA

      Thank you for sharing. Well written.

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Awesome, I feel as to click all the ratings(except the 'funny' button) for you. Yeah! The joy we have with the church is invaluable and cannot be quantified nor qualified.

    • pisean282311 profile image


      8 years ago

      nice hub..good work..

    • GmaGoldie profile image

      Kelly Kline Burnett 

      8 years ago from Madison, Wisconsin

      A friend shared the 12 steps with me - that is her mantra. The steps really make sense. The addictions we have in our lives control us. #1 can be any addiction - money, houses, a person, food. All too often those who are addicted will be addicted to multiple items. The struggle is hard. Sharing these 12 steps is important to all of us. I feel for your hardship. I commend you for your strength and perseverance - keep sharing and motivating others!

      God Bless You and Your Family!

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      Nicely done, I agree with you completely. It was always my biggest problem with the 12 steps, admitting that you are powerless comes at a cost. Lets face it 12 step has helped so many people the first step has to be belief that through strength, courage and forces outside yourself you will be able to succeed.


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