12 Steps to Live With No Regrets
The nature of being human lends itself to the making of mistakes. Of course you can just as easily look at mistakes as learning lessons, rather than total blunders.
People all over the world are walking around with heavy regret, even when they're not conscious of it. Just think back to a time when you did something you felt bad about or even dreamt a dream you didn't think you could achieve - or never tried reaching for. Doesn't feel so good? Regret has a powerful pull and you do not have to live with it. When you choose to live life deliberately you free yourself from regrets!
To live without regret does not mean you aren't responsible - it's exactly the opposite.
12 Steps to Live With No Regrets
- Choose to take full responsibility for your life. While you may not be able to determine every single aspect, you absolutely do choose how you experience your life. The power of choice, or free will, is one that each one of us has and it is empowering to realize that and put it to use!
- Decide what you want. People who allow themselves to dream and define what they want have a much better chance of getting it and they benefit from simply dreaming as well.
- Take action in your life. Move towards your goals and do what feels good! Even if it's a bit sideways from your destination, you can learn from it so give it a try. Make your dreams real. :o)
- Apologize and mean it. People need to know that you are
sorry. In one quick step you admit you did something harmful and the
other person is validated for the feelings they have. Then move on to
the next step.
- Find the light of forgiveness. Many people harbor resentment against God, others, and themselves. When you choose to forgive you are releasing the disempowering negative feelings in exchange for a light, powerful feeling of freedom. Hint: Start by forgiving yourself.
- Notice your thoughts. You are who you are with all day! You can choose what you think. Simply notice how you feel when you think that you're not good enough, thin enough, whatever enough. Now think about a strength you have. Feels better? You can modify your thoughts to reflect a nicer reality. "Even though I am not feeling well I look forward to a time when I feel better."
- Practice presence: go beneath your thoughts. There's a place within each human being that is peaceful, loving, and kind. Really. Some may never find it, but it's there. Bring your attention into the present moment - right now, right here, sit quietly, focus on your breath coming in and out of your body - really feel it, then bring your attention into your hands and feel the energy that exists inside of you. Do that with each part of your body. Who are you beneath your thoughts? Take the time to find out and you'll realize that thoughts are just a product of experience and you have the power, again, to choose and change them.
- Honor your emotions. If you feel bad, something's up. Either you're thinking something that simply isn't true (check out Byron Katie's The Work if you'd like a simple 4 part exercise to test this), or you have something you need to tend to. Either way - your emotions are part of you and they are telling you something - in every moment. Feel them, breathe when you're upset, and notice the thoughts that accompany so you can identify thinking that you'd like to liberate yourself from.
- Increase trust and faith. Of course the two are one in the same, I suppose. Either way, life has a process and if you trust it, you win. You get to release the tight reins you have on controlling your life and you get to allow it to unfold in a way that feels better. No regrets, remember? Well, right now would you regret being anal? If so, just say to yourself "I am learning to trust the process."
- Cultivate appreciation. The old saying 'Count Your Blessings' works. Try it right now. Think of 5 things you are truly grateful for. Feel good? Absolutely. The more you do it, the more you will find you have very little not to appreciate. Then what will you do?
- Savor joy. It isn't going anywhere. It doesn't mean something is too good to be true. And you don't have to be suspicious if you feel good. Let yourself feel good, happy, exuberant! Really - it's catchy so do it as often as possible, even if you feel silly.
- Love. We are here to love. Do you know any feeling that feels better than complete unconditional love? Love yourself, love others, love the Earth. Spread love. You can do that right now, too. Just go to a mirror and say "I love you. Really. I do, I completely love you." You may just connect with an old friend who really needs your love...
About Rainbow Recognizer
Amy Phoenix is a gentle, yet direct parenting guide and healing facilitator dedicated to sharing insights and practices to transform frustration and anger, heal the past and nurture conscious relationships – to appreciate all aspects of life. Visit her at www.innatewholeness.com.