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12 Steps to Live With No Regrets

Updated on March 7, 2013

The nature of being human lends itself to the making of mistakes. Of course you can just as easily look at mistakes as learning lessons, rather than total blunders.

People all over the world are walking around with heavy regret, even when they're not conscious of it. Just think back to a time when you did something you felt bad about or even dreamt a dream you didn't think you could achieve - or never tried reaching for. Doesn't feel so good? Regret has a powerful pull and you do not have to live with it. When you choose to live life deliberately you free yourself from regrets!

To live without regret does not mean you aren't responsible - it's exactly the opposite.

12 Steps to Live With No Regrets

  1. Choose to take full responsibility for your life. While you may not be able to determine every single aspect, you absolutely do choose how you experience your life. The power of choice, or free will, is one that each one of us has and it is empowering to realize that and put it to use!
  2. Decide what you want. People who allow themselves to dream and define what they want have a much better chance of getting it and they benefit from simply dreaming as well.
  3. Take action in your life. Move towards your goals and do what feels good! Even if it's a bit sideways from your destination, you can learn from it so give it a try. Make your dreams real. :o)
  4. Apologize and mean it. People need to know that you are sorry. In one quick step you admit you did something harmful and the other person is validated for the feelings they have. Then move on to the next step.
  5. Find the light of forgiveness. Many people harbor resentment against God, others, and themselves. When you choose to forgive you are releasing the disempowering negative feelings in exchange for a light, powerful feeling of freedom. Hint: Start by forgiving yourself.
  6. Notice your thoughts. You are who you are with all day! You can choose what you think. Simply notice how you feel when you think that you're not good enough, thin enough, whatever enough. Now think about a strength you have. Feels better? You can modify your thoughts to reflect a nicer reality. "Even though I am not feeling well I look forward to a time when I feel better."
  7. Practice presence: go beneath your thoughts. There's a place within each human being that is peaceful, loving, and kind. Really. Some may never find it, but it's there. Bring your attention into the present moment - right now, right here, sit quietly, focus on your breath coming in and out of your body - really feel it, then bring your attention into your hands and feel the energy that exists inside of you. Do that with each part of your body. Who are you beneath your thoughts? Take the time to find out and you'll realize that thoughts are just a product of experience and you have the power, again, to choose and change them.
  8. Honor your emotions. If you feel bad, something's up. Either you're thinking something that simply isn't true (check out Byron Katie's The Work if you'd like a simple 4 part exercise to test this), or you have something you need to tend to. Either way - your emotions are part of you and they are telling you something - in every moment. Feel them, breathe when you're upset, and notice the thoughts that accompany so you can identify thinking that you'd like to liberate yourself from.
  9. Increase trust and faith. Of course the two are one in the same, I suppose. Either way, life has a process and if you trust it, you win. You get to release the tight reins you have on controlling your life and you get to allow it to unfold in a way that feels better. No regrets, remember? Well, right now would you regret being anal? If so, just say to yourself "I am learning to trust the process."
  10. Cultivate appreciation. The old saying 'Count Your Blessings' works. Try it right now. Think of 5 things you are truly grateful for. Feel good? Absolutely. The more you do it, the more you will find you have very little not to appreciate. Then what will you do?
  11. Savor joy. It isn't going anywhere. It doesn't mean something is too good to be true. And you don't have to be suspicious if you feel good. Let yourself feel good, happy, exuberant! Really - it's catchy so do it as often as possible, even if you feel silly.
  12. Love. We are here to love. Do you know any feeling that feels better than complete unconditional love? Love yourself, love others, love the Earth. Spread love. You can do that right now, too. Just go to a mirror and say "I love you. Really. I do, I completely love you." You may just connect with an old friend who really needs your love...

About Rainbow Recognizer

Amy Phoenix is a gentle, yet direct parenting guide and healing facilitator dedicated to sharing insights and practices to transform frustration and anger, heal the past and nurture conscious relationships – to appreciate all aspects of life. Visit her at


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    • abbaelijah profile image

      Abba Elijah aka elijagod 4 years ago from Abuja - Nigeria

      This hub is worth reading. Thanks for sharing ....

    • Thundermama profile image

      Catherine Taylor 5 years ago from Canada

      I'm going to print this out and put it on my mirror. Inspiring and wonderful.

    • sunkentreasure profile image



      You are the architect of your life.

      Create your own opportunities

      and make things happen.

      Set yourself a specific goal

      and monitor your progress.

      Be of service.

      Keep doing things for others

      without counting the cost.

      Turn your defeats into victories.

      Control your environment.

      Mix with the kind of

      people who inspire you.

      Keep your attitude positive

      and your health in fine trim.

      Let God go before you

      in everything you do.

      Pray regularly with feeling.

      Always be planning

      something constantly.

      You are the magnet of

      your circumstances.

      Never give up!

      © Bernard Levine

    • RainbowRecognizer profile image

      RainbowRecognizer 6 years ago from Midwest

      Thanks, everyone! Glad to be of service. :)

    • Yeshuan profile image

      Yeshuan 6 years ago from North Carolina

      Excellent hub! Such wisdom stated clearly. These are principles that I strive to live by. Even when I come up short all I have to do is try again. #5 is my favorite. Forgiveness always benefits the forgiver more than the forgiven.

    • Bhanu.Jas profile image

      Bhawana Salaria 6 years ago from Australia

      Great writing.Very well written.You write with depth.

      Good luck for future hubs.

      I love to read your other hubs and follow you.


    • Mrs. J. B. profile image

      Mrs. J. B. 6 years ago from Southern California

      In order to be happy in life you cannot be ashamed of some of the things you did growing up or the choices that you made. Having regrets is being hard on yourself. By understanding what you did and forgiving yourself makes you the person you have become today and helps you to encourage younger people to think carefully about what they are doing.

    • Leann Zarah profile image

      Leann Zarah 6 years ago

      This piece is as beautiful as its heavenly picture. A rainbow multiplies the beauty of the skies. Thanks for creating this hub to share your wisdom about regrets.

    • emilybee profile image

      emilybee 7 years ago

      Very nice hub! Thanks for the tips.

    • katrinasui profile image

      katrinasui 7 years ago

      Excellent Hub. Very well written.

    • bbpaula888 profile image

      bbpaula888 8 years ago

      Loved your hub.

    • brightforyou profile image

      Helen 8 years ago from Florida

      Very nice - well done!

    • profile image

      Katrina Sui 8 years ago

      Great hub with good advices. keep up the good work.

    • profile image

      \Brenda Scully 8 years ago

      really well written and very true.......

    • metaphysician profile image

      metaphysician 8 years ago

      Twelve simple steps but that the essenses of life that most people have missed. Thanks very much for that.

    • Hammerj profile image

      Hammerj 8 years ago from Cebu City

      Wow great article...keep posting your article and i will read it..its an interesting topic.

    • JeffKinsey profile image

      JeffKinsey 8 years ago from Ionosphere

      Wow...awesome hub! Great words to live by and realize we can be as free and joyful as we choose to be.

    • cindyvine profile image

      Cindy Vine 8 years ago from Cape Town

      Great advice there!

    • Cris A profile image

      Cris A 8 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      Okay okay I do have some extra baggages. If I can't totally get rid of them, I might as well let go of some. Thanks for sharing these nuggets of wisdom :D

    • jayb23 profile image

      jayb23 8 years ago from India

      Amazing Hub. Thumbs Up. I have bookmarked this page for future reference.

      Hey By the way my hub " The other side of Subprime Loans" has been chosen as one of the HUBNUGGETS nominees. Click on this link to read more about it. sure to vote and ask your friends to vote for my hub! :-). It is only because of readers like you who liked my hub, that helped it to get nominated. Thanks.

    • RainbowRecognizer profile image

      RainbowRecognizer 8 years ago from Midwest

      Much Love RGraf & Tony! Life is only happening now so if you let yourself release past pain and do what you want to do now - you are making the most of your life :o).

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 8 years ago from South Africa

      Brilliant Hub - will print it out and read it over and over again - and then I hope I will be able to put the steps into practice in my daily life. I'm already seeing where I could do better!

      Thanks for the Hub

      Love and peace


    • RGraf profile image

      Rebecca Graf 8 years ago from Wisconsin

      I wish I had known more of this when I was younger - darn those regrets again. Thank you for more words of wisdom.

    • Profmaggy profile image

      Profmaggy 8 years ago from Boston MA

      What a wise hub.

      Will keep checking in on what you write.