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5 Reasons Why Big Boobs Suck

Updated on April 25, 2017

Why I am Qualified to Say Big Boobs Suck

I began wearing my first bra when I was in the 3rd grade. By the time that I was in high school, I graduated (ha-ha!) to a D cup. My breasts grew larger throughout my pregnancies with both of my children.I am now carrying around DDD/F cup breasts, depending on the brand of bra that they will squeeze into. Talk about over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders!

I believe that my extended lifespan of carrying cantaloupes on my chest qualifies me to state that big boobs suck. Read on while I validate my statement.

1. Poor Posture and Pain

Poor posture results from heavy breasts causing those afflicted to slump their shoulders forward. Neck and shoulder pain results from improper posture and muscle strain. Slumping frequently leads to the development of the dreaded dowagers hump. It is both uncomfortable and unattractive. Big boobs don't seem quite so sexy now, huh?

2. The Dreaded Uniboob

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Sports bras are notorious for causing the dreaded uniboob. Instead of defined breasts positioned side by side as nature intended, they are forced together into one massive, unattractive lump. Not to mention that they do not provide enough support for fitness activities. Jumping jacks for example, cause bouncing, which is quite uncomfortable. Forget running! Bending over frequently causes shifting and potential slippage.

3. Limited Style Options

There are many cute fashion styles that just don't work with huge breasts. Strapless dresses don't allow for a brassiere. Strapless bras do come in larger sizes, but they offer no support. This leads to an unattractive, sagging appearance.

Blouses, a classic go to top, tend to be a no-no. Gaping at the button-holes occurs, and nobody wants to show skin or their bra in this manner. This limits clothing options for church, interviews and career wear. V-neck styles tend to show too much cleavage, requiring layering with a cami or blouse in order to be decent in public.

Other fashions that don't work with large breasts include empire waist tops/dresses (we look pregnant), bathing suits (unless we buy very expensive underwire types), halter and crop tops to name a few. While clear bra straps are available, they tend to be cheaply made and don't hold up to the heavy burden placed upon (ok, underneath) them.

4. Ugly Bras

This is not the pretty, frilly, lacy bra I want to be wearing!
This is not the pretty, frilly, lacy bra I want to be wearing! | Source

When you have breasts larger than a D cup, your options become severely limited. No more walking into any store and finding your size on the rack. Kiss inexpensive choices goodbye. You either have to spend mucho dinero on name brands such as Cacique, or opt for mail order catalog options which tend to be unattractive.

Most brassieres designed to support the well-endowed are functional and not pretty. In order to find a pleasing to the eye option, one must be willing to fork over their hard-earned dough. This is unfair, as most of us did not ask to be gifted in the mammary category and going without is simply not an option!

5. Getting the Wrong Kind of Attention

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Breasts are meant to nourish babies, that is their purpose. However, they also possess major sex appeal. You can't hide them, so obviously people are going to take notice. Often, large breasts attract the wrong type of attention. If you work in a job surrounded by men, then it can be hard to be taken seriously and treated as an equal.

If you have the misfortune as I did of developing breasts early, then you can be teased mercilessly. I couldn't tell you how many times my bra strap was snapped or I was accused of stuffing my bra in junior high (likely because they hoped I would prove them wrong!). I suffered through years of poor self-esteem as a result. I slouched in an effort to hide how big my chest was.

In recent years, I have come to accept them. However, I still wish I was one of the lucky gals who can wear any style bra and clothing, or better yet be fortunate enough to go braless without incurring potential injury or embarrassment.

Do You Suffer From Large Breasts?

See results

I know some people will disagree with my opinion, and that's okay. But before you judge me harshly for disliking big boobs, try carrying them around for over 20 years! I'm tired of them being in the way when I try to get comfortable at night, when a nurse needs to check my blood pressure, and when sitting at a restaurant booth.

They are not all that they are cracked up to be. Next time that you see a large breasted woman, try to empathize rather than fantasize.

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