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5 Tips for a Happier Life: Inside and Out

Updated on May 28, 2020
Marcy Bialeschki profile image

Marcy has a Masters degree in Human Development Counseling. She works as a school counselor at an alternative school for at-risk students.

Self-Wisdom: An Important Aspect of Finding Our Happiness

They say wisdom comes with age. I believe that to be true in almost all cases, especially when it comes to truly knowing ourselves. I guess it makes sense. As we get older, we have known ourselves longer, and we have made mistakes and learned from them. It is this self-wisdom that will be useful in helping us find what makes us happy and what steps are necessary to get there. Some days will always be more of a struggle than others. However, learning how to find our "happy" can significantly improve every aspect of our lives. Here are 5 tips for reaching that balance and being your best, inside and out.

1. Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success

One piece of advice I can offer is to stop self-sabotaging your goals. I often wonder why people deliberately kill their dreams. Whether it's moving away from home and starting a new adventure, getting a job promotion, or reaching financial security, some people always keep the dream in the distance. I see this in the students I work with at the alternative school. They have dreams and goals, and they can articulate them with passion to the point you believe they are going to make those dreams happen. Then they sabotage their success because they believe they are not worthy of reaching those goals. They think it is safer to suppress those dreams and passions because if they achieve them, there are expectations. Unfortunately, self-sabotagers never find real happiness. On the road to their dreams, they get stuck between what is and what could be because they hit the breaks too soon.


2. Don't Be Afraid of Failure

People self-sabotage because they are afraid of success. And people abandon their dreams because they are scared of failure. No one likes to fail and admit defeat to others. And admitting failure to yourself can crush your spirit from the inside out. But what if we didn't see trying to achieve our goal as such a black and white issue. What if we created a grey area and broke down the steps to our dreams? You see, achieving success does not have to be reaching the end goal. Success is any growth and movement in a positive direction. We need to stop beating ourselves up when we have one little setback. A setback is no reason to give up on a dream. Most successful people were not successful the first time. They had to keep working at it. People who fail and try again are much more respected than people who fail and quit. I believe people would be much happier and more satisfied with their lives if they kept reaching for their goals rather than abandoning them when things get tough. Therefore, more tips for finding the happier you are to set goals and stick with them and stop being afraid of failure.

3 Choose Your Tribe Wisely

Finding a happier you also includes having people you can count on and cutting loose a few that you can't. In other words, choose your tribe wisely, and you will have less disappointment and dissatisfaction.

We all have friends who drain us mentally and physically. The mental drain is hearing all of their complaints and problems, and the physical strain is trying to help them. I'm not proposing that you abandon a true friend in need. We all have those friends who rely on us, but they are not so exhausting because they are also trying to help themselves. They are not abusing your friend-status with a storm of issues they refuse to address. Keep the real friends in need, but cut the hurricanes, or at least distance yourself from them enough, so you are not always in the eye of their storm. You will be amazed by how much healthier and happier you are when your life is no longer cluttered with the endless tragedies of others.

Likewise, we all have another kind of friend who is equally exhausting and harmful to our well being. This type is the perfect friend. You know, the one who continually self-pronounces her perfection by judging you and telling you what you should have done or what she would do instead. These people continuously keep us is a state of dissatisfaction with ourselves. They truly make us question every decision. We end up uncertain about what we chose to wear or eat or which car we bought, all because we know she is going to have an opinion and will voice that opinion. I say do one of two things to ease the pain of these people: either start sticking up for yourself or distance yourself. No one needs a friend who comments on your shortcomings while professing their perfection.

Having a certain amount of self-wisdom can lead to happiness. Know your purpose and know how to use it.
Having a certain amount of self-wisdom can lead to happiness. Know your purpose and know how to use it.

4. Develop Healthy Habits

I believe most people are creatures of habit, so one tip for achieving happiness is to make sure those habits are healthy ones. Overall, developing healthy habits and making them part of your daily routine will improve your physical health and give you peace of mind that you are being kind to your body. Here are some basic examples of healthy habits we should all consider.

  • meditation
  • yoga
  • exercise
  • take a multi-vitamin
  • exfoliate & moisturize your skin
  • read
  • have a creative outlet

Try adding some of these examples or some of your own to your daily routine. The structure paired with the positive outcomes can be a real mood booster. One important thing to remember is we will all have days we choose to disregard our routine for one reason or another. Just try to prevent one day from becoming two and so on. Healthy habits can make a difference in feeling healthy inside and out.

5. Ask For the Help You Need

Asking for help is difficult. We spend an enormous amount of time pretending there is not an issue and putting Band-aids over our problems. Making others aware that we are hurting or that we need help is like ripping a deep scab off of a wound. Suddenly the whole issue is raw again, and we have to revisit the pain. Putting a Band-aid on the problem is easier initially, but we still have a lot to confront emotionally. No matter how big or small, if there is a wound we cannot heal ourselves, we need to ask for help.

Most people will not ask for help because they see it as a weakness. However, asking for help is actually a sign of strength. Think about it. We often chose to address the issue with the easier option -- a Band-aid. It takes real strength of character to open the wound and expose it to others. Opening it to the right person can be the first step to healing. Whether it's getting advice or something much larger, knowing the right person to ask for help puts you on the path to a state of well-being you deserve. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to ask for help if they need it.

We All Carry A Lot of Stuff

It's true. We carry a lot of stuff around that can prevent us from really being happy. We sometimes sabotage our dreams, and we wrongly see failure as the end of the journey instead of the beginning. We also keep people in our lives who drain our energy and self-confidence. Additionally, we sometimes lack healthy habits and routines to keep us on track. And sadly, we sometimes suffer because we cannot ask for the help we need. If we put our fears aside and take these ideas to heart, we can significantly improve many aspects of our lives. Finding our true happiness is well within our power. We simply need some self-wisdom and the strength of character to do the things necessary to achieve that inner and outer balance of wellness.

This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2020 Marcy Bialeschki

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