62 Pounds and Counting

To date I have now lost 62 pounds. I have to tell you, it feels wonderful. 15 months ago I was very unhappy with myself and my life. I started making little changes in my eating habits and slowly I began to lose weight. It has made a huge difference in me. I think to myself ' Why didn't I do this before?' I do wish I had, but that is neither here nor there now.

I laid out today for the first time in many, many years. I don't have a bathing suit. before now I wouldn't own one. I always wore my shorts and a big T-shirt to swim in. Today I laid out in my bra and panties. Yes, I know. But I am at a very private location and no one could see. I have to tell you, it felt so good to get some sun on parts of my body that hasn't seen the sun in untold years. (I am playing it safe and only laying out 20 minutes per side, per day.) But I am loving it. The freedom of exposing my body to the sun and enjoying it is, to say the least, a fabulous feeling.

I can cross my legs now and even get on the couch with my legs crossed under me and am very comfortable. It is amazing the changes in my body. I have curves and a nice waistline. And you know ladies, usually the first thing that goes is your boobs, but it is nice to see I have boobs and they seem to be one of my best assets, so to speak. Lol!!! I can walk now and look down to see just boobs and my toes. Wow!! It is a freedom I have not known since I was in my early 20's.

I used to wear, loose clothes. Those dang pants with elastic in the waist, big shirts. I have seen some heavy women, and men, walk around with every roll and pudge showing. Not me, I didn't want anyone to see my heaviness. I hid what I could for sure. I wore a short, black skirt last month. It actually looked good. I haven't wore a skirt in almost 21 years. The day I got married was the last time I wore one. It felt so good to dress in hose and heeled boots and my skirt. I do wish I hadn't wasted time and had lost the weight long before now. Now I wear tight clothes, not so tight I can't breath, but tight enough that I look good and one can see that I do have a figure.  I wear real jeans now that zip up and button. How great it feels to pull those jeans up and zip them. It is liberating to have shed the pounds to find a whole new me to see. Each time I weigh myself and I have lost another pound it just reinforces my determination to continue.

So funny, men look at me now and not through me. I have been ridiculed for being overweight. I have been called names by some close to me and it hurt so bad. But they didn't know me as I know myself. Sometimes I think being overweight was a safety net for me. My weight kept men away and I was good with that as I had been hurt plenty by the men in my life. So I guess you could say I hid behind the weight. But something changed inside me last summer and a dear friend boosted my self esteem and that encouraged me to push forward and go the extra mile to shed the weight. Each lost pound, each new outfit gives me new strength to keep on.

I feel differently about myself now. I feel good. I am healthier and happier. I can look at myself in the mirror again. I can go find nice clothes that fit me. I am not constantly checking to make sure my body is covered. Yes I still have a way to go, but I am well over halfway there. I watch what I eat and I say 'no' to myself for many things I would like to eat, and yes I say it out loud, NO!!. I am kinder to myself. I excercise and still need to tone up more and I am working on that. It is a slow process but so worth it. I used to beat myself up all the time over my weight. Many times my kids would say 'cmon Mom go out with us for a while'. I would agree, then go home and try to find something to wear only to get frustrated and call to tell them to go without me. It was very disheartening.

I am encouraging anyone that reads this, if you need to shed some pounds, take the time for yourself and do it. It is so rewarding especially to your spirit. No one can do it for you. You can dream and wish it away but it doesn't work that way. It takes time, concentration, work and a huge effort on your part to stick with it. Each pound that comes off is a stepping stone to a new you. Take it from me, I am just a regular woman, Mom and homemaker. No spa membership, no expensive diet program, no pro trainer. Just simply lifestyle changes can make a huge difference. I did it and I am telling you that you can too.