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65 "Child Afraid"

Updated on March 6, 2017
Us babies.
Us babies.

She was still a child.

“Child Afraid”

There has been so much talk about abortion with pro-abortion, anti-abortion and pro-choice. Maybe pro-abortion and pro-choice are considered the same, though there is a very big difference.

Anyway, this makes me think back to something that happened in my life and decisions we had to make as a family and how the whole thing could have ruined the family if we had not stuck together and made it a family decision.

I believe that young people, teens and even into their early and late twenties, maybe not so much the latter, have a fear of ridicule, embarrassment, or even punishment if they do “happen” to get pregnant because of all of the way the so-called “adults” discuss and handle the situations today.

I am going to tell about my experience with this situation. By the way, I am pro-choice. Always have been, always will be. I feel it is the woman’s body and whether she is really ready to carry a baby to term. It is also the woman who has to live with the choice she makes mentally. And I have to say that I am very proud of the choice my daughter made in this situation.

It has now been over 30+ years and she has never once regretted the choice she made. Another choice she made was to not to have anymore children.

“The Way it All Began”

There was a 15 year old girl and she was a good friend of an 18 year old boy that lived a few doors down the street. She felt it was love, and in their own right, maybe it was. The girl’s father was a little old fashioned and wouldn’t even let her wear makeup until she was 16. She had never been on a date before. Her mother was a little more lenient with and understanding of the daughter.

One day the daughter asked the mother if she could go to a high school football game with the boy on a Friday night. Together they talked to the father. At first he was adamant about not letting her date. They convinced him that it wasn’t really a date, it was only two friends going to a football game together. Even though he could see something in the way they looked at each other and knew there was more there than just friends, he gave in.

The agreement was, that since it was her first “date”, they were to be home by 9:00, whether the game was over or not. And they did get home a few minutes after 9:00, but not late enough to get upset. And no, the dad wasn’t sitting up cleaning his gun, as the song goes.

Several weeks passed and everything seemed to be going just fine. Then one day the father received a phone call at work from the mother. She was crying and very upset. The girl was missing and when she called the boy’s house his mother said he wasn’t there.

Since the two families lived only a few doors apart the boy’s mother was at the house when the girl’s father arrived home. The first thing they did was call known friends, but no one had any idea where they might be. They called the police and their predicted response was, “We have to wait 48 hours.” Since they were “boyfriend and girlfriend” they could be just runaways.

For two days the parents looked for the two kids. The boy’s parents didn’t seem as concerned as the girl’s parents. They kept calling friends, some 2 or 3 times and had them looking too. No one had a clue about where they might be.

On the third day, just when the parents were about to call the police again, there was a call on the phone. It was a collect call with the girl on the other end. She wanted to know if the two of them could safely come home.

Excited just to hear her daughter’s voice and without even thinking twice she said yes. The daughter said there was one more thing, they needed some money to get home. They were in Palm Springs and had no money. The mother said, “We will be there to pick you up, where are you.”

The reply was, “We’re at the bus station and ran out of money.”

She found out that she was more than likely pregnant and was afraid to tell so the two of them decided to run away. To this day they have no idea where they were going to go or what they were going to do when they got to where ever they didn’t know they were going. They just know they were both scared, especially of the girl’s father, and especially since it happened on the night of the football game and the father was against her going in the first place. He was strict, but not mean or abusive.

The girl’s parents along with the boy’s mom, to protect the boy, drove to Palm Springs to pick them up and bring them home where they belonged. During the drive home is when the girl explained that she was probably pregnant. Which they found out later that she was.

Now, at 15 years of age, that is a very young age to be pregnant and she was looking at some very important decisions that had to be made. The boy was 18 years of age and he was not going to graduate because of bad grades. The girl was an “A” student, very smart and always did great in school.

There was a choice to be made first about the baby, once they found out for sure that she was pregnant. The girl and the parents talked a lot about the choice that had to be made. Was she going to have the baby or get an abortion? [Some people told the father later that the decision should not have been hers. “But it was her body and her life and she was mature enough to make that decision”, was always the father’s reply.]

Both of her parents worked and they lived payday to payday. They weren’t poor, but they didn’t have a lot of money either. The girl still had two years of school and she loved school. She didn’t want to give that up. The boy wasn’t going to graduate high school, so it didn’t look like he was going to have very good opportunities for jobs.

“The First Decision”

The first decision was made, and they did include the baby’s father on this and took into consideration and discussed how it was going to effect the girl’s future. They decided that the girl would have the baby.

The boy said he would get a job and help with the medical bills. His parents never offered anything and were never asked to contribute, though it would have been nice of them to contribute something.

The girl’s parents said it was nice of the boy to offer that, but if he was going to be the baby’s father, he should finish school. That was going to be hard for him because his grades weren’t good enough and he didn’t have enough credits to graduate.

The girl was determined to finish school and kept going to school. She talked to some of her teachers and was able to get some special assignments for the boy. With the special assignments and the girl tutoring him, the boy did manage to graduate, barely, but graduate he did.

After the baby was born and the girl’s parents had paid some of the medical, the bills were mounting. The boy had managed, after all of the hard work and help from the girl, to get a couple of odd jobs, but he hadn’t offered the girl’s parents one penny.

The girl’s parents tried to talk her into applying for some assistance from welfare. The girl refused because they would go after the baby’s father for payback and she didn’t want to get him in trouble, so the family limped along. There two other younger children in the family, and it was hard to make ends meet, even with both parents working. The girl offered to go to work but the parents felt it was more important for her to go to school.

Then the girl’s father was laid off from his job and she finally agreed to apply for the assistance from welfare. When she did apply they immediately went after the baby’s father.

A short time later the girl’s family received a summons to go to court for blood tests. The baby’s father was saying the baby wasn’t his.

Very upset now and wishing that he had beat the crap out of the kid when they first found out, the girl’s father said, “OK, if that’s the way he wants to be, he has no claim to the baby. We will make it without him or welfare assistance, somehow.” The girl, now broken hearted and very hurt, agreed with her father.

The girl was so hurt that she grew to hate the boy. One day she saw him and some of his friends riding motorcycles on a street and she made the statement, “I hope he has an accident and gets killed. It really wouldn’t bother me.”

Her dad was called back to work and as time went on and they did manage, and the girl finished high school. While in high school her last two years, her and her sister, 18 months younger, played on the boys Junior Varsity soccer team.

After she graduated her parents separated and then divorced. The divorce had nothing to do with the pregnancy. There were problems before that between the mother and father, which, looking back, may have had something to do with what she did because of the arguing. But the pregnancy and the baby pulled the family back together, even if just for a short while.

The girl put herself through school to become a registered dental assistant. (Ever since she was little she wanted to be a dentist. She at least came close.)

The girl got a good job and raised her son. She never married and never had any more babies. The son grew up and now has 3 children of his own and the girl is putting herself through school to be a teacher of special education children.

By the way, she is also living and has been for about 20 years, with a man, older than herself, who she helped kick a problem he was having with alcohol.

“In Closing”

The girl could have elected for an abortion and her life would have been a lot less complicated, as it would have been for her parents. But, she elected to have the baby and for a time it even brought her parents closer together, despite the hardships.

I do want to say that I am very proud of my daughter and all of her choices through life.

I will also add that, she never hid from her son who his dad was and she never put him down to her son. When her son was 14 years old he asked to meet his dad.

She went to the trouble of locating his father, contacting him and setting up a meeting. The father said OK at first and then backed out the day before. Her son, to this day, wants nothing to do with his birth father.

Greg

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    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 3 months ago from Corona, California.

      Thank you Rosemarie, she turned out to be a pretty amazing woman. Something like that can ruin lives, but she didn't let it.

    • rosevillaruz profile image

      Rosemarie Austria Villaruz 3 months ago from Manila, Philippines

      Hello Greg. I was so touched on this story. Even now, reading and re-reading it brings new discovered feelings so humane... of the heart. I want to let you know I voted for you.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 9 months ago from Corona, California.

      Jason, Thank you for the kind words. My daughter will be 51 this year. My grandson is 3. When he was 13 he told his mother that he would like to meet his father. Through the years she had kept track of the father and her son always knew "who" his father was. She contacted him and let him know her son wanted to meet his father. He agreed and she made the arrangements for a meeting, time and place. The day before the meeting was set for the father contacted her and cancelled. He wasn't willing to set another date. My grandson said, "OK, that's fine, I want nothing to do with him anymore anyway. To this day he has never made an attempt to see his father. My daughter never married and never had anymore children. She has been with one man for almost 30 years that has been good for her. But she is happy. She is now a school teacher. My grandson is married and has 5 children.

      Anyway, that is where things went with that. I just realized that I could actually write another hub about my daughter and what she went through in her life. She hasn't had an ordinary life.

    • TheShadowSpecter profile image

      Jason B Truth 9 months ago from United States of America

      Hello, Greg Schweizer. I'm glad that I finally found this Hub of yours that you had told me about in your comments to one of my Hubs recently. I read your Hub from beginning to end, and it disturbs me whenever I hear stories about how young men and teenage boys bail on their underage girlfriends after they have gotten them pregnant. I knew of a situation similar to that of your daughter's. That is, my sister had a friend whose 15-year-old daughter fell into similar circumstances as your daughter, except that the boy who got her pregnant was a minor instead of a young adult. The girl's name was Amy. She ended up giving up her baby girl for adoption. The 16-year-old boy who had gotten her pregnant turned into a horrible person afterwards, and he and his new girlfriend caused so many problems for Amy that she left school for a while. Amy was never a bad girl. She was just naive about the true colors of teenage boys. I notice that your daughter's situation that you described happened in the 1980s. Yeah, those were different times. I was living in California back in the 1990s, and Governor Pete Wilson had it in his mind that aggressively enforcing the age of consent laws there would alleviate the problem with teenage pregnancy. However, it turned out that the problem with teenage pregnancy was much more complicated than he had anticipated. Even though it may look attractive to a 15-year-old girl's parents to charge her 18-year-old boyfriend with statutory rape after he goes sour on the young girl, it is something that they still have to think through carefully before entertaining it inasmuch as it could complicate their efforts to collect child support payments from him for the baby. Also, if an identical situation as that with your 15-year-old daughter had taken place in the 1990s when Governor Wilson was in office, the social welfare agency probably would have reported the 18-year-old father to the local authorities and he would have been arrested inasmuch as he was above the age of majority. I don't know what happens now in this day and age out there in California whenever an 18-year-old young man impregnates a 15-year-old girl and then bails on her, but I would still have to say that you and your wife gave your grandson's father every chance any 15-year-old pregnant girl's parents could have given him. It angers me that he took your kindness and understanding towards him for granted. It was jerks like him in the 1980s who were to blame for lawmakers becoming as Draconian as they did regarding the age of consent laws by the late 1990s when the Kevin Gillson story hit the nationwide news. In any event, I was glad to have read your Hub. I guess that your daughter would be in her mid-to-late forties by now. I am happy that she was able to beat the odds as she did, and I wish there were more fathers like you in this world who helped their kids overcome such odds.

    • Mihnea Andreescu profile image

      Mihnea-Andrei Andreescu 2 years ago from Tilburg

      Great story gregas.As a pro-life activist I loved it

    • Joyette  Fabien profile image

      Joyette Fabien 2 years ago from Dominica

      A very touching story about a courageous young woman and caring and supportive parents. Great job Gregas!

    • profile image

      Dursun 2 years ago

      This is amazing. Everything you write comes to life- makes me reemmber being seven, and seeing these men my take on it is that core values have no boundries nor restriction, and do not require sophisticated analysis. The writing itself is perfect for this type of story- short sentences creating an effect in small amounts of space- leaving some mystery till the end, and even at the end- still leaving the reader with a sort of open end where one can give a little bit of personal meaning to it. Lena

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 2 years ago from Corona, California.

      Thank you so much Rose for your comment. She really turned out to be quite a woman and she has made many decisions of her own and I am very proud of her, as I am with all of my children. Greg

    • rosevillaruz profile image

      Rosemarie Austria Villaruz 2 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      i read your story more than twice. it always has something new insight to offer. we are not perfect, but how i admire the strength that all of you showed. it was a bond that shone on a timely moment. making decisions or choices is not always easy. it was all of your readiness to accept what would transpire and the consequences to face, good and bad, right or wrong. inspiring!

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 2 years ago from Corona, California.

      Thank you Deborah. She is a remarkable lady. I am very proud of her. Greg.

    • deborahmorrison1 profile image

      Deborah Morrison 2 years ago from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

      Remarkable story! Thank you for sharing!

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 3 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Rose, thank you and welcome to the hubs. Greg.

    • rosevillaruz profile image

      Rosemarie Austria Villaruz 3 years ago from Manila, Philippines

      hello gregas. thanks for following. i am new here at hubpages and having difficulty getting my work published. anyway i can wait and still learning from great authors like you. i read your posts and i am so pleased. your stories are inspiring. i am now a fan. am following you too.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 4 years ago from Corona, California.

      Thank you.

    • DreamerMeg profile image

      DreamerMeg 4 years ago from Northern Ireland

      Great story. Well done to all.

    • celeste inscribed profile image

      Celeste Wilson 4 years ago

      An amazing touching story that brought tears to my eyes. Very well written, with emotion that definitely sprang from the page. Thank you. Voted beautiful.

    • WAHmom profile image

      Zee Mercado 4 years ago

      i salute you, gregas, for being a great dad by supporting and standing by your children's side no matter what. a lot of children are not as lucky.

    • Dr Funom Makama profile image

      Dr Funom Makama 5 years ago from Europe

      Wow... Such a brilliant work. Thanks for the share

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Midget, Thank you very much. Greg

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 5 years ago from Singapore

      Great job!

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Bac, Thank you. Thank you for the vote and the follow. I don't consider myself a great dad. I just feel I did what every father should do if they love their children, stand by their side and support them. Greg

    • bac2basics profile image

      Anne 5 years ago from Spain

      Wow, what a lovely story and what a great dad you must be. I expect your daughter is as proud of you as you are of her. Thanks for sharing your experiences I´m happy to vote you up and follow. Thanks, as I know you are following me too.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Karre, Thank you for the follow and comment. She is actually an amazing daughter, as are all 3 of my adult children. Greg

    • Karre profile image

      Karre Schaefer 5 years ago from Eskridge, Kansas

      Amazing story and outlook. Thanks!

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi again Bonita, Thank you for the re-visit. I did NOT get the oppertunity to read that story. I would love to be able to read it though. If you can, e-mail it to me. Greg

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Yaazhini, Thank you. I agree that the children today are influenced way too much by the factors that they see as influences. We as parents have to accept the fact that those children are, and always will be, from the time of birth, our soul responsibility. I understand that the religious beliefs in India are very strict, as are al religious beliefs, but the religions also need to start facing the facts that times are changing very fast and are very hard for our youth to accept and keep up with. Thank you for the support of my support of my daughter. Greg

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Tactful, Thank you. I hope the goosebumps went away. I do enjoy sharing, especially when it gives someone goosebumps and they enjoy the story. Greg

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Bonita, Thank you. I don't understand why people have to be ashamed of anything in their past. As long as they learned from it and didn't repeat it, especially to the point to where they should be ashamed. Greg

    • Bonitaanna profile image

      Bonitaanna 5 years ago from Oil City, PA

      Gregas, I just want you to know that it was your site here that made me write my story "A Teenage Pro-Lifer". But I was told yesterday it was too personal and it needed to be changed or erased. Did you get a chance to read it?So I erased it. I will never rewrite it again. I still have PTSD from it yet in my life. All I did was weep everytime I started writing it. Because it not only happened my first 18 years but also the next 24 years in my marriage and my whole life with my parents. Both were not speaking to me when they died. That is how unforgiving they were.

    • profile image

      yaazhini 5 years ago from Chennai

      I almost was in tears for the child. I really appreciate you for standing by your daughter in her hour of need. Though getting pregnant before marriage is not that common in India, such incidents do happen here. But, I don't see the families of the girls supporting them during such desperate situation. Today's life style with the movies and ill-used technology pose tough challenges to kids and it is a very sad affair that the younger generation do not enjoy the bliss the generation of the gone era enjoyed. Instead of blaming the child, one should the social factors influencing such acts. I personally feel that you and the girl's mother were great in the way you supported your girl.

    • Tactfullyrude profile image

      Tactfullyrude 5 years ago from Idaho

      What an amazing hub...I have goosebumps from it. Absolutely beautiful..thank you for sharing..

    • Bonitaanna profile image

      Bonitaanna 5 years ago from Oil City, PA

      Thank you Greg, It is good to know that there are people out there who can talk about the things in their life that have played a big role in who they are and not shoved them in the closet as if they never happened and continue to deny them, for the sake of others and themselves in the family being embarassed over it. Thank you so much!

    • gregas profile image
      Author

      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi BMax, Thank you. I don't believe they lost anything. In my opinion, he wasn't much of a man anyway. I appreciate the review. Greg

    • BeyondMax profile image

      BeyondMax 5 years ago from Sydney, Australia

      So touching and deep story. I am glad that it has a happy ending. Family is very important and she is very lucky to have you as everlasting support! So sad that the guy lost his chance to connect to his son, but I'm sure your daughter and grandson didn't lose much though. It is so well written, captivating!

    • April Reynolds profile image

      April Reynolds 5 years ago from Arizona

      I am really glad to hear that. Her son must mean the world to her and I'm sure he appreciates all her sacrifices!

    • gregas profile image
      Author

      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi April, Thank you. None of us have ever regreted supporting her and her choices, nor has she. Greg

    • April Reynolds profile image

      April Reynolds 5 years ago from Arizona

      Wow, you made me proud of your daughter too. Those are hard choices and I'm glad you came around her as a family and supported anything she wanted to do.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Cindy, Thank you. I am glad you stopped by to read too. I do have some amazing kids, all adults now, but they are still amazing. Greg

    • homesteadbound profile image

      Cindy Murdoch 5 years ago from Texas

      This was such a great story and so well told. I am so glad I stopped by to read this one. You have an amazing family and you are all so lucky to have each other, and to have an amazing support system in each other.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Anna, Thank you very much very much for the exceptional and inspiring comment. Greg

    • AnnaCia profile image

      AnnaCia 5 years ago

      Outstanding writing. Your story is delivered in such a simple and interesting way that readers could create a vision of the events. Nicely done.

    • clairemy profile image

      Claire 5 years ago

      you are very welcome

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Clairemy, Thank you. She deserves all the credit. Thank you for the vote too. Greg

    • clairemy profile image

      Claire 5 years ago

      What a great story to share, it gives a good balanced view of a very difficult and very real situation that occurs everyday. My admiration to you and your daughter.

      Voted up.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Rustic, Thank yo for the very kind comment and the votes. I have always considered myself the fortunate one. Greg

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      Elizabeth Rayen 5 years ago from California

      Greg, What a remarkable story and a remarkable daughter you have. She is also very fortunate to have you as a father. I know so many families who would have washed their hands at the situation. It's because of your love and support she was able to finish school, get a wonderful job, and raise her son. So many would have just given up! Kudos to you and your family! Voted up! Lisa

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Phoenix, Thank you. She's always been very determined and strong. I am very proud of her. Myself, I have always just done what I felt was right. Greg

      Hi Katrine, Thank you. Some of the choices e make are tough but I feel if we let our hearts make those choices they will be the right ones. Now, if we let greed or revenge make those choices, we might be sorry down the road. I am happy for you about your 3rd child. Like I said, choose with the heart and there will almostnever be regrets. Greg

    • profile image

      KatrineDalMonte 5 years ago

      Hi Greg, this is an amazing article. It's like with anything in life, the choices we make we believe are the right ones at the time, although they may turn out later not so. We just never know, since we cannot predict the future. Even if we make a decision today, things often go different way than we planned earlier on. That's how it is in life. Your daughter's story reflects just that. If she had decided to have an abortion, who knows what her life would have been like afterwards. She has a son, having a child is wonderful, even though at her young age it must have been difficult. When I fell pregnant with my 3rd child I was facing the same decisions, because I wasn't sure if I wanted to have so many children, and it wasn't planned. But, it was my decision to keep it, as I couldn't face going through with abortion. It just didn't feel 'right' for me. So, where it is good to have an opinion of others, at the end of the day it is the woman's body we are talking about.

    • phoenix2327 profile image

      Zulma Burgos-Dudgeon 5 years ago from United Kingdom

      That is so amazing. What a strong and determined child you have raised. It's no wonder you're so proud of her. You should be proud of yourself as well.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Sonya, Thank you. A very nice compliment. Greg

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      Sonya L Morley 5 years ago from Edinburgh

      What an interesting story, you wrote it beautifully and I enjoyed reading it.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi LW, Thank you for the follow, the comment and the votes. Also for the compliment. Greg

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      Richard Ricky Hale 5 years ago from West Virginia

      Voted up and all across but funny. Wow, what a story. Such a gripping story Gregas. This is a powerful story and very well written I may add. You made the right decision. Very useful article about decisions in life circumstances.

    • gregas profile image
      Author

      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Ruby, Thank you. I am happy things turned out good for you. We got married early too because my girlfriend was pregnant, yes by me. We were together for 19 years before we decided to divorce. Greg

      Hi moonfairy, Thank you. I am very proud of her. I am very proud of all 3 of my children. Her sister and brother did without some things and stood by her as well. It was a family situation and was handled as such. Greg

    • moonfairy profile image

      moonfairy 5 years ago

      wow...what a fantastic young woman, bravo for her. And bravo for you...you must be so proud. thanks so much for sharing this intimate story, I enjoyed very much.

    • Ruby211 profile image

      Ruby211 5 years ago from Nevada

      This is such a great story. Its so sad how many young men are like that. I got very lucky. I got pregnant at 18 but my boyfriend decided to marry me right after school and now we have three amazing boys. I honestly think about how hard it would of been with out him here to help me. Your daughter is a strong woman. I'm so glad she stayed strong for her son.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Luxmi, Thank you. It took a very mature and determined young lady to make that decision. There was no hesitation on our part to support her. Thank you for the vote too. Greg

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      Luxmih Eve-Lyn Forbes 5 years ago from Fort Pierce, Florida

      This is a very moving story that makes an excellent point about decision making and living with consequences. Enjoyed it a lot. Bravo. Voted up and beautiful.

    • gregas profile image
      Author

      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi B. Malin, Thank you. I am very proud of my daughter. Greg

      Hi Cloud, Thank you for the inspiration and the vote. Greg

      Hi Phoebe, Thank you. Just think, if things had gone another way, you may not even be here to share. I wish I knew more about my ancestors' lives. I am writing about my life as I remember it from about age 3. So far I have just entered the Air Force in my writing. I just want to leave something for my kids and grandkids and great-grandkids so they don't have to guess once I am gone. Greg

      Hi Acaetnna, Thank you. I am glad I got more positive responses than negative ones. Greg

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 5 years ago from Guildford

      What an amazing story. i so completely enjoyed reading this, thank you.

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      Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

      It reminds me a lot of my grandfather's mother. She had gotten married when she was 15. She had my grandfather when she was 17, but they had to run away. The man she married was dangerous, so for the sake of her life and her son's, they ran. During this time, it was not considered appropriate for a woman to work and women who had jobs were often scoffed at as terrible things. Fortunately, an older woman took her in and told all her friends that she was her daughter and that her husband had died. This allowed my great grandmother to work without harrassment.

      She did eventually marry, when my grandfather was 14 and she lived happily until her death in 1954. When she ran away, she was pregnant again, but she lost the child. She confided in her journals that she was glad "It was God's hand that took my second child" because she would have probably gotten an abortion.

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      Mike Pugh 5 years ago from New York City

      My dad and mom had this same exact experience you wrote about in this hub, he was 15 and she was 18 years of age when my older brother was brought into the world. Everything worked out for them, and her parents, and his parents both we're poor, and so not every story turns out sour, but I guess its all up to God, and timing we truly have no control over.

      When my kids come into the world the choice will ultimately be theirs, as to what they should do when the bearing of a child comes into effect, and responsibility will be the main focus of their youthful experiences, so they will be ready no matter what for anything that approaches, because God created our biological clocks and not man, this is my belief, but everyone is entitled to their own, I guess.

      Nice hub here, and I'll be writing an entire hub about this one soon for sure, it pertains to my life experience as well, and so it will make for a good one too, thanks for the inspiration. Voted Up!

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      b. Malin 5 years ago

      A very Powerful and Poignant True Story Gregas. You can be Proud of your Daughter and the Choices she made...And in the End, a new Generation goes on!

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Eliza, Thank you. She has really always been an inspiration to me too. Greg

      Hi James, Thank you. I take that as a compliment, but she wa the strong one at the time and very mature for a 15 year old. Greg

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      JamesPoppell 5 years ago

      This is a wonderful story Greg. Your daughter is a strong person. She is mature and she showed a lot of character by not bad mouthing the father in front of her son. I suspect she is the person she is today because she was raised by kind & loving parents. This touched my heart.

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      Lisa McKnight 5 years ago from London

      This is a wonderful story about the triumph of the human spirit. I admire the girl in the story who never gave up on her loved ones. She is an inspiration.

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Beadreamer, Thank you. I know of cases like that where the parents simply wanted nothing to do with the daughter or they forced her to have an abortion or to give the baby away only to have regrets later in either case. I feel we did the right thing and we have never had any regrets. Greg

      Hi YogaKat, Thank you. I have recieved some very giid comments. Just so everyone knows, I am pro-choice. Greg

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      YogaKat 5 years ago from Oahu Hawaii

      This beautiful story has many admirers, but I can't help but also comment on this heart wrenching but happily ending hub. Well done!

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      beadreamer247 5 years ago from Zephyrhills, FL

      Well, this was one story where the parents stood behind the pregnant daughter - that's not always the case. I have a friend who got pregnant at the same age and her parents threw her out of the house. Her boyfriend stayed with her and they struggled together - they stayed together and are an impressive couple of 4 kids! Now flip the story...a girl at that age without parental support and the boyfriend walking away - easy, since the baby is not in his womb. A woman cannot walk away it grows right inside her. Each situation is too different and each person feels different. The common suggestion of adoption is not much easier. Think about it - you are having this child for 9 months in your womb and then giving it away? In addition there are so many children waiting for homes and adoption is not made easy, at times so hard that people who have the desire to adopt are not accepted or walk away from all the bureaucracy!

      So which choice is the better one??

      I don't believe the choice of abortion should made easy accessible though as a quick decision.

      You did the right thing and respected your daughter at that tender age and walked through it together. Many parents don't allow their daughter to be involved in the decision, because they feel they are too young and have to make the decision for them. I feel that is wrong.

      Glad you all fought it through!

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Delphia, Thank you. Yes, every seed is a blessing. It was a difficult choice, especially for her, but I am glad that was the choice she made. Greg

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      delphia76 5 years ago

      Great story, thanks for sharing. Every seed is a blessing. That was a difficul choice, but the right one

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Xavier, Thank you and thank you for the link. I take that as a compliment. Greg

      Hi Tenkay, Thank you. As for the forgiving part, I didn't see anything to forgive. We all make mistakes. Greg

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      TENKAY 5 years ago from Philippines

      Hooray for your daughter. Please congratulate her for me. I would have done the same if I were in her shoes, but am not sure if my father would forgive me.

      Thanks a lot for sharing your story.

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      Xavier Nathan 5 years ago from Isle of Man

      I loved reading this story. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Gareth, Thank you again. Sometimes written words do come across different than originally ment. Greg

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      Gareth Pritchard 5 years ago from North Wales

      Hi Greg, there was no sarcasm intended on my part I assure you, you really do deserve a pat on the back as far as I am concerned. It just goes to show that language is no substitute for pure thought.

      Thanks I am sorry it was taken in that way, Gareth.

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      Sheila Brown 5 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

      Very good story. Hoorey for your daughter! I believe the father will always regret what he has done, whether he will ever admit it or not. Your daughter is a good, strong person and her son will appreciate her for what she went through for him. Voted up and awesome! :)

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      Gareth Pritchard 5 years ago from North Wales

      Hi Greg,

      I suggest you do this right now, put your arm over your shoulder and pat yourself on the back, I would do it for you but its a bit difficult. Thank you for publishing this insightful story, all's well that ends well, Gareth.

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      Nithya Venkat 5 years ago from Dubai

      The girl in this story is a brave young woaman with wonderful parents to support her in times of need and difficulty. Feel very sad the way things turned out for the girl. Very happy she came out on the top of it all. Great hub. Heart rending.

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Sheila, Thank you. Yes, I do believe it is the woman's body to do with as she pleases, and that includes for more than just abortions. The decision was tough, but the one she made was one she never regreted. Greg

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      sheilanewton 5 years ago from North Shields, UK

      I agree with your philosophy on abortion. It IS the woman's body and she can do what she likes with it - including abortion. Your examples show how difficult it can be to make a decision about terminating.

      Great Hub - thank you. And thanks for following me.

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Catz, Thank you very much. Greg

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      Catzgendron 5 years ago from North Chelmsford

      Good luck to your daughter, she must be a special person because it takes someone special to teach special ed. I am sure she loves spending time with the grandchildren, they can turn a frown into a smile. All the best to you and your family.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Catz, Thank you. My grandson is now 28. He has 3 children of his own. My daughter is in 7th heaven with the grand children. Somehow she makes time for them, working and school. I just found out today that she will be ready to start teaching Special Ed. children in the fall. Greg

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      Catzgendron 5 years ago from North Chelmsford

      I found my family in a similar situation and not having the birth father in the mix is actually a blessing because of two years that young man made our lives a living hell. Let's just say he was bad enough that a judge granted me a life time restraining order. Anyways, when I found out my daughter was pregnant my first reaction was that she had to finish high school and graduate which she did. She never considered abortion because she knew my feelings on that subject.

      Then she had to find a job and provide for her daughter, my beautiful granddaughter. I helped out as much as I was able to and she received help from the WIC program in our area and received a voucher for daycare. She wasn't able to apply for any other assistance because the father wasn't listed on the birth certificate. Which was then and will always be a blessing. Anyways, my granddaughter will be 12 yrs old next month and is a well adjusted young lady and a joy to have around.

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Stessily, Thank you. Raising children can bring on some trying times, also joyous times. Usually more of the latter. Greg

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      stessily 5 years ago

      Gregas, Such a compelling story, made even better because it's true. Strangely some of the most worrisome times in life transition into producing the most joyous times, as is the case here with your daughter's experiences.

      Thank you for sharing.

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Frank, Thank you. I am glad it was a enjoyable read, and it was an enjoyable write, but at the time it wasn't such an enjoyable ride. But, as a family, we survived it, and for the best. Greg

      Hi Teach, Thank you. I have been criticized in the past for letting her make the decisions, but I knew my daughter and I knew she could handle whatever she chose to do. Greg

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      Dianna Mendez 5 years ago

      I love stories with happy endings! Your daughter had a lot to decide at such a young age; but through all her trials, she has come out on top. It is hard to see our chldren face such difficult life choices but it is what makes them stronger in character. Thanks for sharing this touching story.

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      Frank Atanacio 5 years ago from Shelton

      my goodness this was so good and explosive I enjoyed the read :)

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Dave, Thank you. I was torn between a lot of reactions, that I actually thought about taking back then, but I am glad I had the sense to keep my cool. By choosing that, my daughter and my grahdson were able to form their own opinions. Greg

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      Davesworld 5 years ago from Cottage Grove, MN 55016

      What a story, and I am glad for you and your daughter and, of course, grandson, that things worked out as well as they have.

      And PFUI on the sperm donor.

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Sue, Thank you. As for the father backing out, personaly, I believe someone talked to him and warned him that if he went through the visit he would be admiting that he was the father and could be liable for several years of back child support. Which I know was NOT my daughters intent. Thank you for the vote too. Keep smiling. Greg

      Hi Kimberly, Thank you. They always say that the parent makes a child stronger, but in this case, I believe it was she that made me stronger. Greg

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      Kimberly Lake 5 years ago from California

      Your daughter seems like a stronger young woman, I know you are proud of her. Excellent story.

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      Sueswan 5 years ago

      Hi Gregas

      I admire your daughter. She had some very tough decisions to make. I can see that you are proud of her and your grandson.

      It's sad that his father backed out on meeting him.

      Enjoy your Sunday.

      Voted up and away

    • gregas profile image
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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Ruby, Thank you. It was a time in our lives that we had to make tough choices, and it seems we made all of the right ones with my daughter and for my grandson. Greg

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      Ruby Jean Fuller 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

      I am a firm believer in a woman's choice. I would hope that if the woman dosen't want the child, she would have the baby then give it up for adoption, but it is her body and her choice. Too many babies are born and not wanted. They are abused, many are killed. I know you are proud of your Daughter,as you should be..Great story..Thank you for sharing..

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      Greg Schweizer 5 years ago from Corona, California.

      Hi Writer, Thank you for the comment and votes. She was quite the brave young girl and turned out to be quite the same as a lady. I am very proud of what she has accomplished. Greg

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      Joyce Haragsim 5 years ago from Southern Nevada

      Wow! what a great story. The girl was very strong not to give up her son and still go back to school. You did a good job on this story. Voted up and awesome, Joyce.