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7 Steps to Controlling and Utilizing Your Emotions

Updated on March 6, 2013

Step 1 – Detect it

The first thing you need to do is recognize your emotional strengths and weaknesses. For example, if you find yourself in a frustrating situation – recognizing that you're in a state of anger can help you understand how to counter act it.

Step 2 – Pinpoint the Emotion

You must be able to label it or at least give a general name for it - is it anger, jealousy, love, fear?

Step 3 – Accept Responsibility

Know that you are responsible for all of your actions. This is the hardest part of self control, wherein you must thoroughly assess what has happened, and at times, suppress your instinctive actions to reduce further problems.

You must claim responsibility for emotional outbursts and not blame it to others. Conversely, you should applaud yourself for the beneficial outcome of your emotions (a husband buying flowers for his wife out of love for instance).

Step 4 – Consider Multiple Modes

Anger is the most common and instant emotion that we emit when we are being opposed. But anger has different modes and causes which that we need to recognize in order for us to address it properly.

Step 5 – Determine What it Indicates

Ask yourself what your emotion trying to show you. When you see a snake (or whatever other animal gives you the creeps), you initially feel fear. If you understand that this emotion is guiding us to an action (in this case fight or flight essentially), you will prepare yourself for action, and as the fear continues to motivate you, will take action.

Step 6 – Change your emotion

The second to last process of emotional control is shifting emotions. Manipulating your state of mind is essential to the mastery of your emotion. Emotions can indwell and haunt our thoughts in an unhealthy way, but because we are now able to recognize the emotions we are experiencing, we can now manipulate them in a way that will be helpful for us rather than a burden. Stabilize your thoughts - this way you can gain control with your emotions.

Step 7 – Utilize your emotions

Finally, once you have embraced your emotions, understood them, and learned to manipulate them, use them! Again, emotions are simply indicators of what we are experiencing, and operate as a motivating factor, driving us to a certain goal. If you understand what that goal is, and have manipulated your emotion to drive you toward that goal, nothing can stop you!

Final Thoughts

Discipline and self control is the key to mastering your emotions. The willingness to commit to change is vital key in achieving mental mastery over your array of emotions. Keep in mind that emotions are entirely neutral - it's up to you to use them for your own good!


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