ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

99 Problems...

Updated on January 28, 2021

Picture of mental health...

Knowing and recognizing my family has a history of abuse, be it substance or any and all other forms of abuse, is one thing, seeking therapy to help me overcome the abuse, is a whole other story. Substance abuse is just one way many ‘cope’ and or ‘deal’ with ‘issues,’ only when you are using, you cannot admit that you are using to mask the real ‘issues,’ as to why you are abusing. Not dealing and or addressing the abuse, is often the reason many abuse substances-they seek to numb themselves.

They say truth is stranger than fiction; sometimes fiction is easier and far less painful than truth, than facing the truth. Admitting you may have a substance abuse problem often means admitting why you abuse and or why you use, something many are not willing or are unable to do. It’s a vicious cycle, a cycle I hope to break, someday, which is why I chose therapy as a means to ‘cope’ and ‘deal’ with my issues. However, therapy is not a quick fix, nor is it an easy or pleasant process. It is painful at times, and it is difficult, largely because the memories, events, and circumstances that led or lead to the substance abuse appear or seem more painful than living with a substance abuse problem. This is a typical response or excuse from someone that is dealing with a substance abuse problem-which is why the cycle of abuse continues.

“Why pay for therapy if he/she is still using?” Seems like such a ridiculous question, to me, but it is and was posed to me, so it is one I feel I must address. To quote a wise man, “it’s like wiping before you poop.” Therapy cannot cure a substance abuse problem, but if we are willing to try something/anything, other than abusing drugs, alcohol, food, sex, etc. we have to first admit why we abuse and or use. Sometimes it is only when we seek therapy that we realize and or recognize not only that we have a substance abuse problem, but perhaps more importantly, why we have a substance abuse problem to begin with.

It’s the why and how we came to abuse and or use that complicates matters. It’s also an excuse or reason for why so many substance abusers continue to abuse and use-it’s what they’ve been trying to numb themselves from all along…the pain. Having to face, endure, deal, and cope, with the pain of past abuse and or painful memories, events, and or circumstances seems far easier when you do not have to feel it.

Sounds so ‘logical’ when you look at things through a ‘users’ eyes, not so easy though when you have a loved one struggling with a substance abuse problem, especially when you long to help them. Suggesting they get help for it, praying, hoping, longing, for the day they will accept it, well, that too, is a whole other story. For however much we may want it, long for it, hope for it, believe it or not, they do too. It’s just that when you have been doing something for so long, that has allowed or allows you to escape the reality of past abuse, you fail to see the current abuse and the pain it inflicts and or is inflicting. Whereas, your substance abuse may numb you from the pain, it does not numb those around you from it. Thus, the cycle of abuse continues…

I do not profess to know what the ‘answer’ is, nor am I foolish enough to think I am in any position to give advice to anyone seeking to rid him or herself of a substance abuse problem or any other ‘vice.’ I can only speak for myself, in regards to my own ‘issues,’ and I know that I am actively seeking ways in which I can learn to better cope and or deal with them, other than numbing myself. It is a work in progress, just as I am. After all, I didn’t get this screwed up overnight, so I cannot and do not expect I can be or will be fixed overnight. Like everything/anything worth having-it takes work. Admitting you have a problem is just part of the problem; it’s what you are doing to deal with the problem that becomes yet another problem. I got 99 problems…but faith aint one. I have faith in recovery but I believe there is no recovery without faith.


This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

Show Details
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)