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A Day In the Life (Of Me At 73)

Updated on March 18, 2014

Mike's Common Sense

I am a middle-aged guy. I recently turned 53. Like most middle-aged people, my body is showing the signs of wear and tear. My hearing is getting worse, my hair is starting to show a touch of gray, my old wrestling injuries are coming back to nag me, I forget where I left my keys, etc., etc.

They say that the 50's are the youth of old age; well, if that's the case, I'm not sure I want to find out how the "geezer" days of old age are going to turn out.

With that in mind, I have a song depicting how I envision life twenty years from now. It's sung to the tune of "A Day In the Life", by the Beatles:


I woke up today, oh boy!
I'm still alive, I see, what a joy!
Went down to eat some breakfast,
But it just had to wait,
I couldn't masticate (My teeth are gone).

I saw a dirty film today, oh boy!
I got a hard on, a rare joy!
I went and showed it to my wife,
Thought I might get a poke,
But she just cracked a joke!

I don't turn....her....on!

Stood up, to stretch my back,
But my muscles started to cramp.
So I went to the bar and had a shot,
I was in a spot (if you know what I mean).

Fell down, and grabbed my thigh,
Took some pills to get me by,
I crawled outside to have a smoke,
But I had a stroke
And I let out a big scream...

Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!
Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhh, Ah, Ah, Ahhhh!

I saw the Doc today, oh boy!
"Fit as a fiddle," he said, oh what joy!
He said I'd live to see ninety-three,
But I just had to cringe,
Gotta get some booze because I'm goin' on a binge!

I can't go onnnnnnnnn.......!

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    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      hi muley,

      I'm sure you didn't. I would have enjoyed seeing that.

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi Trish! My secret wish is to do stand up. I once did open mike nite on a whim... At least I didn't bomb.

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi adnohr! funny looking maybe. Thanks for the nice comments.

    • trish1048 profile image

      trish1048 8 years ago

      Oh heavens, I'm cracking up here!  This is truly funny but what's sad is how much I can relate to it LOL.  Seriously, you should be a stand-up comic or get a record label :)

      Oh, or do I mean a CD? see? my age is showing :)

    • profile image

      adnohr 8 years ago

      LMAO!! You'll probably be a very smart & comical (as in make people laugh) guy till the day you drop!

    • muley84 profile image
      Author

      Michael A Muehleisen 8 years ago from Miami,FL

      Hi, G-ma you are so right! But as my dad says,(who is 76) old age isn't all it's cracked up to be, but it's better than the alternative! lol I evercise daily and run (i have run 5 marathons) and it does help keep you feeling young.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 8 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Well I'll tell ya old age ain't for the weak...it can be tough so stay healthy and exercise...G-Ma :O) Hugs