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A Reality Check About Life: A Moment With Bill Reflection
I have always wanted to start an article with a disclaimer, and this is my chance. Let me begin by saying that my intention in writing this article is not to anger anyone, nor is it to make anyone feel bad about their behavior. I do not believe in guilt trips, and I do not believe in pointing the finger of blame.
I am simply trying to declare, for your review, some truths about life, and raise some points that are easily overlooked during the frantic moments of a normal day. I am willing to bet that you all know these things, and I’m also willing to bet a Daily Double that you agree with them…..still…..it is pretty darn easy to forget them from time to time, and that’s what I’m here for today. Mr. Reminder, a living, breathing Post It note for those in need.
Shall we begin?
A Moment With Bill
GET OVER IT
How old are you? Twenty? Forty? Sixty? How much regret have you accumulated during that time, like some moss-gathering stone defying the laws of physics? How much fear insanely based on the irrational? How much guilt and anger, resentment and self-flagellating belittlement?
In other words, what albatross is firmly attached to your ego and id, preventing you from spreading your wings and flying towards your potential?
I have three words for you.
Get over it!
I know, I know, it’s just not that simple. I heard an AA member once share in a meeting that if we all had his problems we would have gotten drunk too. I still laugh when I think about the insanity of that statement.
Life is ripe with excuse opportunities. One need not look far to find a reason to be miserable. One need not buy a road map to find the corner of Unhappiness and Discontent.
Let me put it another way. It takes very little effort to find something to blame our troubles on, but it takes one hell of a lot of effort to live a life free of misery.
In matters of personal character, that which costs the most gives us the most. Go figure!
I used to tell my son and my students the same thing. They would be whining about such and such, and telling me how rotten their lives were because of such and such, and I would simply say “get over it.” And yes, it is that simple if you are willing.
THERE ARE NO FREE RIDES
Unless your name is Kim Kardashian of course!
There is a price tag attached to everything in life, so pay up and move on.
Whether it be an actual monetary value, or an intrinsic price labeled to self-esteem, there is a cost for everything in life.
Do you want to succeed in business? Pay the price! Do you want to succeed as a writer, or become a better person, or earn respect? Pay the price! Quit looking for the easy way out and the discounted value. Often times you get what you pay for, so why not pay for the best and then make it happen? There is no substitute for blood, sweat and tears, and the rewards gained from an honest effort are rewards that will multiply over the years.
Pay the price!
But it’s not fair! Why should I have to work so hard just to keep my head above water when some lucky bastards have it all and never have to work for it?
My uncle had to leave his family every summer and travel to Alaska where his job led him. I was talking to him one day and I said it didn’t seem fair that he had to leave everyone that he loved just to earn a living. He simply said that life is not fair nor is it unfair…it just is. Life does not make some random judgment concerning the justice of it all. It just doles out circumstances and how we react to those circumstances determines our character.
I have never forgotten those words.
Pay the price!
Shoulda Coulda Woulda
YOU ARE THE ROADBLOCK THAT YOU FEAR MOST
I have been called a Pollyanna, and I can live with that. What I know to be true is that every one of us is capable of so much more. I don’t have percentages. I doubt there are statistics to prove my point, but I know it in my gut. If we just learn to get out of our own way, we can fly with the eagles rather than crawl with the bottom-feeders.
What is holding you back? A serious question deserves a serious answer, and only you can answer it.
Is it your past? Is it a physical ailment? Is it some manufactured nonsense that sounds good but in reality has no substance? Is it the lack of support from loved ones or is it the lack of self-love?
Find the key to that puzzle and you will unlock a world of unlimited possibilities.
Sit with me awhile
SIMPLE IS ALWAYS BETTER
In a previous life, I was told once that I could make a typhoon out of a glass of water. True words!
Today I make a gentle flowing stream out of that same glass, and my life is infinitely better.
I had to learn to stop complicating life.
We are taught in math class that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. We know this to be true but how many of us follow that wisdom during our daily lives? I would go from Point A to Point D, then turn left and head for Point Z, and during the trip bypass Point B several times, when in fact that had always been my destination.
Can you say exhausting?
Business Ethics 101: If you lie about your product and misrepresent it through your advertising then yes, you may see a sales increase, but it is wrong to do so.
Parenting 101: If you do not spend quality time with your children, and you model behavior that you do not want them exhibiting, there is nobody to blame but yourself when your kids stray from the path of the righteous.
Life 101: Stop making excuses and just do it!
Economics 101: If you spend more than you earn you will find debt, and where there is debt there is anxiety and fear, and where there is anxiety and fear there is unhappiness….sooooo….live simply!
Today I need a dictionary to spell typhoon. True words!
LOVE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE
Don’t waste my time talking to me about possessions, or social status, or climbing the ladder of success or any other nonsense that has a Madison Avenue image and a dime store value. Talk to me about love, baby, and nothing else.
On a related note, don’t talk to me about grab-ass, back of the Chevy physical attraction, but rather talk to me about forming a bond with fellow human beings, and reflecting love in every act that you do. If you can look me in the eye and tell me that you try to live that kind of love then I am your brother for life.
We come into this world the result of the supreme act of love. It is in our DNA, as natural as breathing, and yet day in and day out we do something or say something that does not reflect love in any way, shape or form.
Do you remember what it felt like when someone harmed you? Do you remember the pain, the anguish and the feeling of victimization? Then why would you choose to do that to someone else? Why would you choose to ignore the suffering of others when you have experienced suffering? Why would you choose to not care about others when you know that apathy steals your very humanity?
Logic 101: Love begets more love. Hate begets more hate.
With love there is hope. Without love there is a bleakness the likes of which we, as a society, cannot survive.
Yes my friends, love is the most important thing in life, and we need to start giving away tickets to the Love Train or we will all derail.
How is your reality?
SO HOW IS YOUR REALITY?
As though I were an extra in the movie “The Sixth Sense,” I see dead people all around me, and it saddens me greatly. The life has escaped from their eyes, and laughter lines have been replaced by gloom and doom lines. I understand it because I have been there. I also understand there is a different way to live because I am there.
Some people stop breathing and die. Others continue breathing and are just as dead.
Today I choose to live. Say those words with me. I choose to live! Now embrace it, and incorporate it into your every action. The suffering and pain is a thing of the past. The self-doubts and self-flagellation are things of the past. You have been stuck in neutral for far too long. Your torque converter is now functioning properly and you can run through the entire range of gears, so head out on your personal highway and let that transmission work the way it was designed to work.
Today I choose to live!
Are you ready?
2013 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)
“Helping writers to spread their wings and fly.”