Addictions, Lifelong Battle or Curable?
I have written a number of hubs on the subject of addiction, and because this is a subject which has touch not just my life, but the lives of every person I have had contact with. I am sure that it has also influenced the lives of many of the people out there in this world of hate, hurt and conflict. Misery sometimes encourages some addictions as it is a way to cover up or mask emotional pain as well as physical pain.
I know that this is a subject that for many years no one has wanted to talk about or admit to having a problem with either. I feel that it is about time that we stop feeling ashamed of our problems and face them. That means that we must honestly talk about them, whether or not we are doing the talking or the listening.
I firmly believe that addiction does not have to be a lifelong battle. The only reason that it ends up being a livelong affliction is that because the person infected with this disorder is never given the proper medicine (instruction or direction) to properly fight this infection. Until you get to the core, you will continue to relapse.
I am speaking from experience. I was a drinker as well as a heroin user. To make this simpler to understand, I am only going to discuss this from the drinking point of view. I would drink from the time that I woke up in the morning, until whatever time it was that I passed out later that day.
With a couple of very simple exercises and a couple or so homework assignments (easy ones) I began thinking differently--therefore, once the craving was removed, the thirst was also.
That was why the steps program did not work for me, for it was like fixing the outer part of me, the part that showed to the world, leaving the inner part, where the craving lived, untouched. It was the most difficult thing I ever tried to do, and I felt like my will was not strong enough to do it. As long as that problem existed in my life, I was indeed powerless against it. I could not be entirely fixed.
I did not want to carry that with me for a lifetime, for to me it felt rather like having an itch you could not scratch, no matter what.
It took me exactly four days to reconstruct my thinking and at the end of those four days, because I had been given the proper tools to fix the inner works of my mind, I was then able to reconstruct what I had walked around with broken for the whole of my life.
Next was the important part, for now that I had the key in my hand, and I knew that it would not be hard to fix. I had to really look inward and realize if I really wanted it fixed. This is the key, I had to really decide whether or not I would later regret this decision to let go of a habit that I had felt comfort from, a habit that I had learned to love to do, was I going to regret giving this up, or not. This was the scariest part for me. Once I made up my mind, it was so very easy from that point on. I did really want it gone.
Again, I can reassure you, the rest was so easy. In the remaining four days that I actually followed the plan that my doctor gave me,I did not change at all the habits I had. I continued to drink as I felt I wanted to, I did not notice any difference until the morning of the fifth day. I got up and went to the store and bought my beer for the day, and when I got home, opened one up, and took a long sip. I cannot describe to you how it tasted to me. I set it down, for it tasted foul. I have not picked another one up since. It does not appeal to me to this day, and that was a long nine years ago.
I have not regretted quitting, although sometimes when I watch others drink I can remember how I felt. It was not hard, and I haven't missed it a bit....and I thank God for the man he sent my way to show me that it only had to be my decision, for there were tools that worked.