Admitting an Eating Addiction

A few days ago, I decided to do something for myself. I decided to admit that I have an addiction to food.

My addiction goes further than just liking food. I also compulsively eat large amounts of it.

A compulsion is something that you do even if it causes you physical harm. Most drug abusers could be considered compulsive.

The Reasons I Overeat

Stress

Stress is probably the biggest reason that I overeat. I find comfort in having good-tasting food in my mouth, and in feeling full in my gut.

When I am angry, or agitated I often find myself in the kitchen looking for something chocolate or noodley. I could literally live on chocolate and Ramen Noodles.

Insomnia

I use food to put myself to sleep when nothing else works. A friend of mine said this was the weirdest thing she had ever heard, but it's true. If I ingest enough carbs, it's better than the best sleeping pill for putting myself to sleep. I am fully aware of why this works, and exactly how unhealthy it is, yet I do it because it is effective. Again, I am a compulsive eater, and I do it even though it is hurting me.

Lack of Time

Because of my trouble sleeping, I have trouble staying on a decent schedule. I am also self-employed, so when I have slept in, the first thing I want to do is work. Sometimes hours go by before I eat, and then I am famished, and ready to eat half of the kitchen.

I also eat out a lot, because I don't feel that there is enough time in the day to cook. This of course has led to a lot of unhealthy eating habits coupled with overeating due to the enormous portions that are now the norm in our restaurants.

What am I Going to Do About It?

What Doesn't Work

Around 7 years ago, I lost 124 pounds, but I didn't keep it off. I think this was because I put all of my effort into losing weight, without really addressing my addiction to food first.

After about a year of intense exercise and dieting, my weightloss hit a plateu, and I began to lose all motivation. I think it was a pan of breadsticks that broke my diet, and since my body was not used to the intense drop in calories I had achieved, it held on to every calorie in the half a pan of bread sticks I ate, and in one night I gained 10 pounds. I was devistated by the ease of gaining weight in comparison to the back-breaking work it took to lose it, and I gave up completely. Maybe I should have been more focused on the fact that I had beaten my addiction to food for over a year instead of being so focused on the weight loss that came with doing so.

What Now?

Knowing is half the battle, right? I think the other half of the battle is knowing exactly what you are facing, and planning your attack accordingly.

What I am facing is an addiction to food, and a compulsive habit of eating too much.

Now that I know and accept this, I can begin to wage war against my enemy. I have started a blog in order to offer myself accountability, and I have completely outlined my battle plan, starting with giving myself some structure, since this seems to be what causes me the most stress, and opportunity to overeat. I am scheduling myself time to work on every aspect of my life.

I started this blog about a week ago, and since then I can already see an improvement in the amount of food that I eat.

I really do feel that knowing is half the battle.

I know that I am addicted to food, and I know that I am strong enough to quit overeating.