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Age Difference Between Spouses

Updated on September 23, 2016

The majority of couples you see are within a few years in age, or at least in the same decade. Occasionally you meet a couple that seems more like a parent and child relationship. The man may be the age of the girl's father, or a girl may be with someone that seems more like her grandfather.

We often judge that the male probably had a midlife crisis or that he wanted someone that could keep up with his sexual appetite.

I am more familiar with men who have married older women. They seem to missed out on an abundance of nurturing when they were young. Never mind that she will probably age faster than him. As long as she cooks like his mother and is more mature than the girls his age, he is willing to put up with a bit of sagging here and there.

Since it is known that girls mature faster than boys, it may be best that there are a few years difference in a couple’s ages. Whether it is older or younger, that is up to the individual. An immature person will look for someone more mature that they can rely on. A mature person will want someone compatible with his wants and needs.

My Dad is 88 years old and enjoys companionship with a lady the age of one of his daughters. They usually go out to dinner and to a movie, and enjoy each other’s differences. He does not expect much from her and she feels protected and happy just to have a social outlet. When they go out, they get some pretty strange looks, but neither pay much attention to it.

It will be different for each person. If our expectations and wishes are met by another person, it really does not matter their age. You see couples of all shapes, sizes, ages, cultures and religions. The thing that is most important is that they can communicate well with one another. If one person is being domineering over the other, then there can be problems between couples. That is also true of couples that are around the same age.

Unspoken rule


The social structure of a country determines the age difference in a couple more than any other factor. Certain cultures force their young girls to marry older men.

Often the half your age plus seven rule is used to judge if a couple should marry.

What do you think is the best age gap in couples

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Do you find yourself judging couples who have a large gap?

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© 2014 Elayne


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  • mochirajackson profile image

    mochirajackson 3 years ago from Liverpool, United Kingdom

    Interesting post. I am a romantic who thinks age shouldn't matter (within reason!) My mum is happily married to a man 14 years her junior and it works well. My friend, on the other hand, is with a man 16 years her senior and although it works most of the time, there are instances where they don't see eye to eye at all and it seems to be because of the generation gap and his old-fashioned values e.g. that his tea should be on the table when he gets home, for one! Thanks for sharing x

  • diogenes profile image

    diogenes 3 years ago from UK and Mexico

    Hi Elaine. So much genetic and ipso facto psychological reasoning can be applied to this dilemma. Women will find it hard to admit that once they pass menopause they loose much sexual attraction for the male. And women in the UK seem to want toy-boys these days as once it was more common to see older men with younger women, often for financial gain (also explained in evolution theory). I think around the same age is best, although a computer somewhere ran some stats to say the couples that succeed most are when the woman is half the age of the man plus seven! (IE a 30 year old bloke would have a partner 22 years old, and an 80 year old man would have a 47 year old. Just reporting...I didn't originate this