- Mental Health
All the What ifs in the World
Everybody has done it atleast once...
We have all probably asked ourselves "what if" once in our lives. "what if I had chose another way home?" "What if I would have went to college?" "What if I would have said no?"
The truth is no matter how many "what ifs" you ask yourself, it will never change the way your life has panned out up until now. "What ifs" are a way that we as human beings beat ourselves up. They are a way to keep your mind focused on the past, news flash- you can't change the past. Well that is until there is a time machine up for public use...still it isn't a good idea to change your past.
Look at your life, is there nothing that you are thankful for? Is there nothing that you wouldn't change for the world? Yes we all have bad things happen to us and we all have made a bad decision or two in the past. Bad decisions help us to learn which is why you were always told that you learn from your mistakes. Life is simply a learning experience.
Yes you can beat yourself up all you want, but why would you want to? I have made bad decision after bad decision, however I have gained some wonderful gifts out of them. Somethings in my life I could control, but they really did make me stronger. If you can stop yourself from the negative thinking, the "what ifs", and look back at your life with gratitude then you can use the knowledge you have gained from your past to make a better future for yourself. You will focus your energy on your present thus making even smallest steps in the right direction. One step at a time you can make your life better.
How to banish the negative effects of what if's:
- Be grateful for the little things
- when you say "what if" think about two positive factors of your life that you wouldn't change and say "but at least I have ______________ and I would never change that."
- Remember that you cannot change the past but you can change your future.
As a poet once said:
"I tell you the past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, no just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving and forget the post mortems; and remember, no one can get the jump on the future." - -- Carl Sandburg