17 "Almost My Last Trip"

My Near Death Experience

I know that most people that claim to have had a near death experience claim to have seen the light at the end of the tunnel or were visited by angels or something exciting like that. Well my story might be a little boring if that’s what you’re expecting. Nothing like that happened to me in my experience.

My story starts with a normal Monday at work. I’m looking forward to the Wednesday of that week as my last day of work and the fact that Thursday afternoon I will be leaving on vacation for a week. I will be driving to see my dad in Arkansas for the first time in at least 20 years. I had the very strange feeling that I needed to see my dad because of his age and health. He had prostate cancer. Also, this would be the first real vacation I have taken in a very long time. For the record, this was in early 2004.

As Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday went by, my anxiety was really building. My plan was to leave early afternoon on Thursday afternoon, drive from Ontario, CA to Needles, CA where I would get a motel room and then drive into Laughlin, NV to spend a couple of hours gambling.

Thursday finally came and I got up in the morning after a night of feeling like a little kid the night before Christmas not being able to sleep. I took care of all of the business I needed to before hitting the road. At about 2:00 pm I loaded the car and I was ready to go. I stopped and filled the gas tank and since I didn’t sleep well the night before I grabbed an energy drink to help keep me alert.

I love to drive so I was really looking forward to the drive. I made it to Needles, I found the motel I had selected and got a room. I settled into the room and then drove to Laughlin,NV. It was already getting dark and it seemed like a very long drive. For some reason I wasn’t feeling very good and I just figured it was because I was tired. I played a few machines in 2 or 3 of the casinos and decided that since I wasn’t feeling up to par I would head back to Needles and the motel room. When I got there I took a shower and went to sleep. I woke up early without an alarm and anxious again, I got dressed, checked out, stopped next door and had breakfast, filled the gas tank and hit the road again.

I drove through to Flaggstaff, AZ before I stopped again. There I stopped, and since I was feeling tired again, I picked up a couple of energy drinks, got gas and hit the road again. I drove on to Gallup, NM before I stopped for a hamburger for lunch hoping that would give me some energy. I still wasn’t feeling up to par. Actually I was feeling worse.

I should take this opportunity to explain about a little problem I had a few times in the past. I had some incidents of internal bleeding. I had gone to the doctors with the problem and they said that I was bleeding. They ran all kinds of tests, went in with cameras for exploration and were never able to find any problems or any reason for the bleeding or any place where I was bleeding. After that I found I could control it myself and when I felt like it was happening I would take it easy. I would take vitamin K to help stop the bleeding, where ever it was, Kaopectate to coat the insides and iron to rebuild the blood. It always worked and still does. One thing I have never been afraid of is dieing.

Anyway, with this in my background and my own knowledge of it, I still don’t know why I didn’t think of it. Maybe I just didn’t want to admit it to myself because I didn’t want to have to change my trip plans. I was also very anxious and nervous about seeing my dad after so long. That didn’t help my situation with the nerves.

OK, back to the trip. I was really getting tired and it really wasn’t very late but when I was driving through Santa Rosa, NM I saw a motel that had easy off and easy on access to the freeway so I decided to stop. I went in and registered and naturally they put me in a room on the second floor. I took my luggage up the stairs to my room. Then I decided to go get something to eat. There was a fast food place just on the other side of the freeway so that was where I went for a quick dinner. I took it back to my room. I started eating and really started feeling weak. That’s when I admitted it to myself what must be wrong. I decided I would go find a drug store or market and get what I needed. I got in the car and started driving. After blindly heading to I don’t know where, and being a small town where they roll up the sidewalks at 6 o’clock, I started getting so weak that I felt like I was going to pass out. I decided to go back to my room and accept whatever happened.

Once I was back in my room, without even getting undressed, it took everything I had to kick off my shoes, and then I just lay there on the bed. I just totally relaxed and let myself think that if I wake up dead it would be OK. I just really don’t want to die this far from home. I don’t want to be this far from my girlfriend, the love of my life, when my time comes, but I would accept it.

I went to sleep. Like I said in the beginning, I didn’t see a mysterious light, any angels or anything unexplainable. I fell asleep very peacefully. I just know that when I woke up in the morning I wasn’t dead and I was feeling very weak but better than the night before. Even though I felt weak, I did feel refreshed. I got up and showered, got dressed and checked out. No breakfast, just gassed up the car and hit the road. I stopped in Amarillo, TX and picked up what I needed to make me feel better. By the time I got to my dad’s in Gravette, AR I was feeling stronger. Not much, but better.

The visit was great and we did get a few things straight so the trip was well worth it. My sister and her husband had come up from Hampton, AR in the south. I hadn’t seen her in quite a few years either. After visiting with my dad for a few days I followed my sister and brother-in-law down to Hampton and stayed with them for a couple of days. Really, it wasn’t my dad that something down inside was telling me that I had to see. I was really there to see my sister because that was the last time I ever got to see her, she passed away in 2005. I feel deep down that was the only reason I didn’t die that night too. For the record, my dad is still alive at age 95. I was able to take my other sister to see him and we were there for his 95^th birthday this last February. She hadn’t seen him in many years either.

Greg